Bisexual ? or Gay ? Give in to my natural sexual instinct ? Or getting a life ?

[igotmail333]

In my life, I have many desire and they are contradicting each other.

I used to addicted to sex, a very strong human desire. But for some shock, I have very much managed to suppress this part of my desire.

Now, looking inwards, I used to have some attraction to lady. But due to inferiority complex I coward out. When a guy or lady force on me, I will usually give in. I'm somebody who is very afraid of confrontation. All my life, I have been very scared of being alienated, which I always experience since my personality is so bad. Or the people that I mix with are so bad, that they are not accepting me.

Now I'm in dilemma with my sexual desire, and my life desire.
Both require considerable amount of work.

I have attracted to lady before. But due to my depressive and repressive nature. I don't usually get along with other people, that inclusive of my lady friend. The relationship with my friend or close lady friend doesn't get quite well. That time, in the gay sex, I'm mostly addicted to gay porn. I don't usually like straight porn. I have to admit that I'm more attracted to guy in a straight porn scene.

I feel that I'm weak. Like I'm forever weak, that I'm in need of a guy. Of protection of a guy. When face the lady, when she appear stronger than me, I just give in. Anyone, I would just give in. I'm so weak.

I'm not sure if things will change if I train myself up. But I'm going to try.
To have a stronger personality and stronger body.

I'll update when I think I have observe some change in my consciousness or I think that I have achieved some milestone.

Good luck to myself and good luck to you guys !

 

[igotmail333]

Btw, even I have not found a clear path lay in front of me.

I do see that, addicted to online porn and casual hook up is not a thing for me now. Now that I'm 32, with more courage and clear mind. I want to make better choice for my life.

Thanks all, if you all could just some words of support

 

[offthewall14420]

It doesn't matter. Just go out there and have a good time.

 

[Benvolio]

Some people have submissive personalities by nature, and it is not necessarily a bad thing. Here is a short article. https://blogs.psychcentral.com/powe...-amazing-traits-of-healthy-submissive-people/ Other people are more dominant and you may find satisfaction with such a person. Couples with two dominant personalities probably will not last long. You do need to resolve whether you are gay or bi. I suggest you watch a lesbian porn video. If you are not aroused sexually it would strongly indicate that you are gay.
You are right to begin training with weights. It will make you feel better about yourself, more desirable and more confident.

 

[Seasoned]

It's healthy to take honest personal inventories from time to time. Afterwards, you are able to work on both acceptance and change.

Be careful so that you are not influenced to make changes because of homophobia.

Are there major safety issues with being gay or bi in your community?

You ought to make choices tha give you the greatest chance of happiness.

 

[igotmail333]

Thanks guys. I'm more and more daring to tried with lifting weights. I train with dumb bell with some good result. I also found out that I like little lady friends that I treat them like my little sister.

 

[igotmail333]

Hi Seasoned, I knew you are a long time moderator here.

Do you recall there is a long time member, probably is a moderator as well. He is bisexual, but married to a girl.

And he said that bisexuality is like fluidity that it change over time. And he said that since he met a girl first. so he married to a girl.

 

[SeaCore]

...What Benvolio said rubs me the wrong way. It's not entirely without merit but more needs to be said about it.

It's possible that you are a submissive person and that being submissive is fulfilling. But don't take 'Oh I'm just submissive' as an explanation and stop considering other possibilities. Not having the courage to say 'No' is the not the same thing as being someone that likes entrusting control to another person. If you don't like being 'forced,' or are uncertain, you should not just accept that as your reality; work on being more comfortable setting your boundaries. You deserve that.

And no, you don't need to resolve whether you're gay or bi. It's not really that important unless having that identity is important to you. You can be bi-curious for all of your life and that would not be a problem.

You seem to have an attraction to women. Whether it's stronger than your attraction to guys, whether you never act on that attraction, whether you never get off to lesbian porn, none of that excludes you from being bisexual.

Being bi can be confusing because we're not the most well represented. For me, I had a bit of turmoil over whether I was gay or bi because I started to wonder if I was just trying to shoehorn in attraction to women to avoid having to accept being gay. My attraction isn't 50/50; I have a preference towards guys. But that doesn't change that I did, and still do, find women attractive and having my preference doesn't change that.
The label of 'bi,' 'gay,' or 'undecided' is something that exists for you to better understand yourself. I came to the conclusion that it was okay if people ignored my sexuality and just labeled me as gay because their perception of my sexuality has absolutely no impact on reality. I use the label of 'bisexual' because I am attracted to men and women and that term best describes my attraction. But it's okay if you never choose a label as long as you are making decisions that drive you closer to an environment where you can flourish.