Bisexuality

[trouvé]

Hello Gents, I have a legit question, and I'm hoping to get your opinion.

I think I'm bi, but I don't think it's a stereotypical case of bisexuality. For most of my post-puberty life, I've watched gay porn. However, I still find certain female celebrities extremely attractive and beautiful, but not necessarily in a sexual manner. As with my friends that are girls, I always friend-zone myself too quickly, and then I can't think of them in any other manner.

Another thing to add is that I get legitimate crushes on girls. Only recently have I tried anything somewhat romantic with guys, and I like that, but I also know that I still had feelings for my crushes/girlfriend of the past. Legitimate feelings.

So, I guess what I'm trying to say is that my dick points one way while my heart (typically points the other, or both). I like the man sex, but I see myself having a wife in the future with true sincerity.


Anyone have a situation similar to this? Or just any CONSTRUCTIVE opinions? Much obliged.



UPDATE I just realized I might have posted this in the wrong forum, and I apologize.

 

[movieguy22]

So, you basically just described me. Exactly. I've felt the exact same thing my whole life and its cost me a great deal of confusion. The only way I've been able to deal with it is to ignore the whole "label" of bisexual or gay or whatever. And at this point I know someone reading this will be rolling their eyes in the head saying "Oh, this whole I ignore labels bullshit" well, if you ask for a label, I'll tell you I'm bi.

I've had people tell me that I'm gay before and it does annoy me. Because I know that I'm bi. I have thoughts about women that no gay man would ever have. So when people do feel the need to tell me that I am something that I'm not, I just ignore it. Besides, they are half right afterall. lol.

On a somewhat different note: doesn't the friend-zone suck? I get stuck there repeatedly and it's damn near impossible to get out of there. I've found that I hit even faster when a girl I'm interested in finds out I'm bi. It's like they go "Ooo! Gay friend!" Instant friend-zone. I say bi, they hear gay. Makes things difficult.

 

[MJay2011]

So, you basically just described me. Exactly. I've felt the exact same thing my whole life and its cost me a great deal of confusion. The only way I've been able to deal with it is to ignore the whole "label" of bisexual or gay or whatever. And at this point I know someone reading this will be rolling their eyes in the head saying "Oh, this whole I ignore labels bullshit" well, if you ask for a label, I'll tell you I'm bi.

I've had people tell me that I'm gay before and it does annoy me. Because I know that I'm bi. I have thoughts about women that no gay man would ever have. So when people do feel the need to tell me that I am something that I'm not, I just ignore it. Besides, they are half right afterall. lol.

On a somewhat different note: doesn't the friend-zone suck? I get stuck there repeatedly and it's damn near impossible to get out of there. I've found that I hit even faster when a girl I'm interested in finds out I'm bi. It's like they go "Ooo! Gay friend!" Instant friend-zone. I say bi, they hear gay. Makes things difficult.

Labels are for clothes.........I'm me and I'll have sex with anyone who wants to............

 

[mkedude88]

Damn...it's good to know I'm not the only one out there that feels this way. I am new to it all with guys, but I do find I'm more attracted to them but at the same time still like chicks. I am also having the issue with the "friend zone" which makes things really tough. I'm still really confused and don't really know what to make of things though.

 

[TXSunsetEagle]

I too, fall in the same category. especially with the whole your dick points one way while your heart the other, it can be pretty challenging. Best thing is to ignore what other people think (I know its hard) and do what you want. I'm from a big conservative area (central TX) so the stereotype hits pretty hard. If you're like me you just learn to deal with it day by day, and find a few really good friends to talk to that you know for a fact won't judge you. You never know, one of those guys could be just as curious as you are but never have the balls to say it!

 

[TXSunsetEagle]

Also wanna add yeah friend zone SUCKS. I quickly become the brother a girl never had so they'll never consider you any more than that. Just don't fall victim to getting set up, had my best friend (girl) set me up with her friend and it ended in a big disaster.

 

[trouvé]

Thanks!

As for the friend zone thing, it's more that I put myself there, if that makes sense. Like, I get along really well with most girls, but then I'm too good of friends with them, and now the thought of anything else is just bizarre. Any with any girls I actually like, I can't even be a friend.

My life.

 

[LAPan75]

.

Sounds similar to me but on the opposite side.

Have you tried any of the only 'Kinsey' tests?
For me, I have tested K2 each time and it fits.

I love my Wife & sex with her is amazing, even all my past relationships outside of friendship were with females.
I have never really found guys, in general, as items of love though I hope to find that right guy one day.
Now their cocks and personalities are another story, those I have fallen in love for before.
Without the total package though, what's the point?​

.

 

[trouvé]

Interesting on te Kinsey Test thing...

I took it, but I found the answer choices to be overly generic, so I don't know if a score if 1 is accurate at all.

 

[mbamike]

Trouve', thanks for pointing out the Kinsey Test. I googled it and took the test. My results are different from what I expected and from another test I have taken. Here are my results:

You Scored as 6
6- Exclusively homosexual GAY ALL THE WAY YOU ARE DEFINETELY GAY NO QUESTIONS ASKED. YOU ONLY CONNECT WIH THE OPPOSITE SEX ON A FRIENDLY LEVEL AND IT NEVER GETS PAST THAT POINT.

I have taken the flexuality test also. It it more up to date I think. Here is a link.

 

[Bob6896]

Have any of you ever considered the fact that, maybe, you feel this way because society is telling you that a man should be with a woman because that's just how things are? And that this conflict you're feeling is case of cognitive dissonance? Nobody likes to hear it, but it's just a thought. The mind is capable of very powerful things and sometimes, it can outrule what your heart or your body is telling you.

 

[trouvé]

Trouve', thanks for pointing out the Kinsey Test. I googled it and took the test. My results are different from what I expected and from another test I have taken. Here are my results:

You Scored as 6
6- Exclusively homosexual GAY ALL THE WAY YOU ARE DEFINETELY GAY NO QUESTIONS ASKED. YOU ONLY CONNECT WIH THE OPPOSITE SEX ON A FRIENDLY LEVEL AND IT NEVER GETS PAST THAT POINT.

I have taken the flexuality test also. It it more up to date I think. Here is a link.

That's a great test, awesome resource. Thanks!

Have any of you ever considered the fact that, maybe, you feel this way because society is telling you that a man should be with a woman because that's just how things are? And that this conflict you're feeling is case of cognitive dissonance? Nobody likes to hear it, but it's just a thought. The mind is capable of very powerful things and sometimes, it can outrule what your heart or your body is telling you.

I have considered it, but I'm a second semester Freshmen in college, in an environment that isn't at all anti-gay or such. Yet I still had a legit crush on a girl on my rowing team first semester...these social pressures that you're talking about, I don't really feel them here like I would at home. I don't know, it's all one big mind fuck.

 

[TXSunsetEagle]

That's a great test, awesome resource. Thanks!



I have considered it, but I'm a second semester Freshmen in college, in an environment that isn't at all anti-gay or such. Yet I still had a legit crush on a girl on my rowing team first semester...these social pressures that you're talking about, I don't really feel them here like I would at home. I don't know, it's all one big mind fuck.

College takes its toll on everyone in different ways. I'm in my second semester as a sophomore, and my mind just goes after different people daily. For example I'll be watching the women's tennis team playing a match and I'll find some of them pretty hot, then on other days I'll be drooling over guys like there's no tomorrow. It's just hard to find a middle ground where your mind will finally decide what it wants. Feel free to PM me if you need anything, Freshmen year can drive a lot of guys insane. I've been there, done that last year and the only thing I regret was not making as many friends as I could have. You've couldn't of said it any better! It's all just one big mind fuck!

 

[trouvé]

So far I think my Freshmen year has been alright, I've definitely explored things I could not do at home

 

[Singularity]

There is no such thing as "stereotypical bisexuality", in fact it's the most genuine fluid sexuality a human can have. Also, if you consider yourself bisexual it doesn't mean you are attracted to every man or woman at all times, or at all. Just because I'm gay, that doesn't mean I will be or have to be attracted to every man in my life, and often it's more physical or mental in every case.

You are still at that age where you are looking for your true self and that is good so because the sooner you look for it the less pain you will cause your future spouse down the road if it didn't work out. Don't let society tell you whom or what you have to do and why, do what feels right and especially let others know about your journey so they can support you as well.

I know I sound like the run-off-the-mill love columnist but we need example bisexuals who can help break that black-and-white curse society has with sexuality.

 

[BiMike]

I comletely agree , being Bi

 

[trouvé]

I comletely agree , being Bi

Haha glad to hear it!

 

[twitch142]

I am pretty similar. I like having sex with men and women. But, I have no emotional connection with men. I can never see myself being in a relationship with a guy, but I love having sex with them.

My girlfriend says its just hypersxuality. I'm not sure if that's what it is or bi-sexuality. All I know is what I like to do and how I feel about the different sexes. I don't think much of it and just live my life how I want.

It did take some thinking and adjustments. Admitting I like sex with men. But once you are ok with how you are, nothing else matters.

 

[LAPan75]

.

I would recommend taking several of the different Kinsey Tests.
There is really no Official one according to the Kinsey site, but they often lend insight into yourself.
From what I have found, the more I know about myself and trust in my own desires the better I can communicate with my Lover. ​

.

 

[Freespirited2011]

Hi Guys,

I’ve been going through similar things myself and completely understand where you are coming from.
The way I look at it is that i find people attractive not based on gender and for ages i used to tell myself that i was not attracted to men. I was told a saying from Shakespeare that made me question my feelings which was "to thine own self be true" after that I realised I was lying to myself. I decided to embrace my feelings and thoughts and that’s when I started to explore my sexuality and acknowledge that I find men attractive.

I have the same thoughts going through my head about whether it is just sexual lust after men or if I could settle down in a long term relationship with one and ended up coming to the decision that I am just going to follow my heart and my head and go with what I’m feeling at the time. I’ve always pictured myself settling down with a wife and having kids in the future but that has started to become less fixed as I think that if I meet the right person and am happy I would be stupid not stick with it because the other person is the same sex as me.

I know I want kids but there are always options, you need to be selfish and think about what you want and go with it, there is always the difficult thing of wondering what people may think but in the end the true friends and family will be happy that your happy so this should not sway your thinking.

As my name says I am free spirited and don’t want to tie myself to a specific type of relationship.
All I can recommend is that you enjoy life and go with what YOU feel…