Blackmail

[rareboy]

Yeah, there are several things here that are worrying. First off, you yourself didn't listen to your friend when he told you no, instead you went and told your friends, the went about trying to manipulate him into doing what you wanted, on the justification that you knew what was in his head.

Yeah,

This other guy is more aggressive and overt but is after the exact same thing you were.

Both of you were wrong.

how do you handle blackmail? You can't be very far in the closet if you're discussing with your friends how to "force," a straight guy into being with you. Come the fuck out. What's the other guy going to do then?

I suspect the lot of you have a lot of avoidable dramas, like the ones above in your lives.

I agree with all of this.

So who cares if you come out? Why would your aunt even find out?

So come out of your closet already. You are a grown man now.

Let him tell everyone. It won't ruin your life. It will set you free.

Forget the harassment charges. Obviously the guy is mentally unstable and making even more of this drama may in fact ruin your life.

 

[Ganoderma]

I agree with all of this. So who cares if you come out? Why would your aunt even find out? So come out of your closet already. You are a grown man now. Let him tell everyone. It won't ruin your life. It will set you free.
Forget the harassment charges. Obviously the guy is mentally unstable and making even more of this drama may in fact ruin your life.

Dear Hilltop08,

I fully agree with the above statements made by Rareboy.

Besides that, you told us:

My parents are paying for my schooling, my aunt pays for things I need at school, and my grandfather pays my car, I'm very much dependent on them and I know that coming out would change the things they do for me. I'm just more worried that it'll get back to my aunt if it does ever come out. (.....)....but I'm afraid that it'll get back to my aunt who works at our university and I also have a cousin that will also be attending the university next semester.

I was wondering which university you are attending, and if this uni also has some sort of policy towards GLTB people (students and staff alike). Eg, are there so-called queer groups of GLBT students, and are these queer groups, in one way or another, also supported by the uni, just like many other student groups at the uni that are also supported by the uni at one or another way?

I mean, what would be the position of your aunt when it would become obvious to anyone that she is a VERY homophobe member of the staff?

I tend to think that it will ruin her 'status' at the uni, when she decides to cut you off when you are open about your sexual identity. I mean, who can prohibit you to tell anyone at your uni that you must leave because X (your auntie) does not want to pay part of your expenses because you are gay/bi? Such news will go around like a fire.

In regard to your cousin, what kind of problems do you expect with him? Is he a homophobic guy?

Best wishes, and just open yourself to others. I am sure you will feel much relaxed afterwards.

Open guys don't need to be afraid of this kind of blackmail.

Does you uni has some sort of student-consellors with whom you can discuss this kind of private items?

 

[KaraBulut]

He then basically starts saying that my apology doesn't matter and he's out to ruin my life until he either gets his way or he stops caring about it. He's saying things like the next time he sees me on campus he's going to have a real nice surprise for me, and he can't wait to ruin me. The last thing I got from him was making a reference about meeting me before my first class in the morning (he knew the exact location and time even though we don't share the class together) and making a scene there in-front of everyone.

I've since called the campus police about the situation and they informed me that I could file a police report about the harassment and if I wanted to further pursue it I could take it to the county courthouse and they would decide how they want prosecute.

The question here is whether this has the tone of "have sex with me or else" or whether it's stalking. If you were a girl and a guy were saying things like this to you, the police would view it as stalking, you would get a restraining order against him and the guy would probably be expelled.

If possible, you should have friends walk with you to class. He's less likely to approach you when you're with other people. If this continues, you may have no other choices but to treat this guy as a stalker and have him removed from campus.

 

[Rolyo85]

There has been enough good advice on here so far. I just want to ask a question:

When you say your family will stop supporting you, do you KNOW that, or do you simply FEAR it? Because you stated it as fact and if you think it's a fact, I'd like to know what your reasons for that are.

Also, let him know you are going to the police with this.

 

[Georgiadude]

You did the right thing by talking with campus police. I think you need to try and get a restraining order against him. He knows your schedule, dorm location, classes etc. He's obviously stalking you. I'd talk to the campus administration as well. There has to be student conduct and harassment policies to address these types of things.

try to get the police to talk to him and pursue the restraining order. This bs has gone on long enough.

Steven.