Blowjob Troubles

[SAmatt]

Hey guys I'm not sure whether this is the right space to be talking about this but here goes.

So I've just been wondering about this because it seems like I'm the only one I know who experiences this. I don't ever feel pleasure from being sucked or jerked off. Don't get me wrong the idea is an intense turn on and I can't get enough of being on the opposite end (giving the blowjob). But when it comes down to it I really don't get much pleasure from guys who have tried to please me in the past.

It's quite a let down for me and my boyfriend now because it's as much an emotional as it is a sexual experience for us and I can't seem to enjoy it when he goes down on me. I've never had a guy feel unsatisfied when I go down on him and it seems as though each guy has gone crazy when receiving a blowjob from me. I just don't feel the same during my turn though.

I'm not sure whether it's just me having too much expectation or whether my size is a bit too overwhelming to take in the mouth or if perhaps I'm just too sensitive down there? So do any of you have a similar problem? Or are blowjobs not as incredible to receive as everyone makes them out to be?

 

[eastofeden]

Raises Hand!

Blow Jobs bore me to pieces...I just can't get off and I get annoyed after awhile when a guy wanted to please me and I finally had to come out and announce I don't like oral sex..giving or receiving...

If you are looking for ways to overcome this..I can't help you. I just eventually wrote it off and called it a day.

Just in case the future seems bleak..I really do have an amazing sex life...and an active one....been that way all my life...WITHOUT oral sex....

I told my BF point blank when I met him 30 years ago that I don't like oral sex...and we are still having great sex all the time...like last night..and a couple nights before that..and a couple before that....so don't fear.

If you can get past this..great..but just in case you end up like me and find you can't....or no longer want to try...just make sure you are honest and upfront about it from the beginning so they know what to expect....

Good Luck to you!

 

[sixthson]

Is it possible that your dick is just to used to your own hand? Other than oral, what part of sex is good with your bf, what part guarantees and orgasm?

 

[KaraBulut]

I'm not sure whether it's just me having too much expectation or whether my size is a bit too overwhelming to take in the mouth or if perhaps I'm just too sensitive down there? So do any of you have a similar problem? Or are blowjobs not as incredible to receive as everyone makes them out to be?

To answer your question, there are couple who never do oral. There are couples who never do anal. There are couples who do anything and everything or they mix things up and do things that turn each other on.

When you and your boyfriend are deciding what to eat, there's probably some things that he doesn't like and there's somethings that probably you don't like.

For example, he might like chinese food but you don't like chinese food. There's two ways to deal with the issue. You can say, "I don't like chinese food, so I'm never going to go with you to a chinese food restaurant". Or you can say, "It's not my favorite, but since we went to my favorite restaurant last weekend, we'll do chinese this weekend".

If you boyfriend likes to blow you but it's not your favorite thing, then when he's in the mood to take your big cock down his throat, you let him and you moan and tell him what a great blowjob he gives. And you remind yourself that sometimes he does things that you like solely because you like them.

You should never do something you absolutely don't want to do or something that you find absolutely repulsive. The reality of relationships is that you do things that might not be high on your list of favorite things with the knowledge that they are turnons for your partner. Sometimes the fact that your partner is turned on is enough. Sometimes the fact that you do things to please each other because you care for each other is enough.

 

[SAmatt]

I think you all make some valid points. It's not that I don't enjoy oral sex or that I find it off-putting. As I said before I absolutely love giving and the idea of receiving is also a great turn on but unfortunately the reality is just not (it's a let down actually). I'm more than happy to let him do his thing down there and enjoy himself. I just wish it was more enjoyable so that it would be more of an emotional experience for us both (if that makes sense).

A compromise I often suggest is to 69 so that we both can get into some aspect of oral sex. At the end of the day I'll always let him go down on me because I know he enjoys it and I know how much I enjoy it when the roles are reversed. I just feel bad because I won't ever get off from it and I don't want him to feel self-conscious about it. Especially since I can make him cum if we're horny enough and I'm persistent when I'm down there sucking.

 

[SAmatt]

Is it possible that your dick is just to used to your own hand? Other than oral, what part of sex is good with your bf, what part guarantees and orgasm?

I think you're actually on to something here..

Come to think of it I've never had an orgasm that wasn't caused by my hand. Also I've never topped a guy before [the plot thickens]. Not because I don't want to but rather that I haven't had sex too many times and I'm always happy to bottom when I do because it's amazing. I really do get off from being a bottom and I have tried topping my boyfriend once but it never went anywhere.

It's really quite odd when I think about it but I haven't had an orgasm without my hand ever before. This might just be part of the problem!

 

[SAmatt]

Let me add *I tried topping my boyfriend but it never even led to him being penetrated.

 

[KaraBulut]

...I just feel bad because I won't ever get off from it and I don't want him to feel self-conscious about it. Especially since I can make him cum if we're horny enough and I'm persistent when I'm down there sucking.

Well, this is a slightly different aspect of the issue. There are a lot of guys who just can't get off from a blowjob.

Sometimes it's the lack of pumping action of the hips. Sometimes it's because the guy just can't match the timing and rhythm you have when you get yourself off. Sometimes it's because it's difficult to "let go" when you're getting blown. Sometimes there's just not a good reason for it.

Here's the bottom line: it's perfectly fine you finish yourself off. While there's a certain amount of satisfaction your partner might get from pushing you over the edge with his oral efforts, there's also ways that you can jack yourself off and make it hot for your partner. Find something that you both find hot- maybe it's giving him a facial, maybe it's rubbing both your cocks together with your hand, maybe it's straddling his cock or straddling his face, etc.

Don't focus on one specific act and whether you can get off from it- that just adds to the pressure on you both. If it happens, it happens, if it doesn't, just go to Plan B. It's not always about how you come, as long as you get off, you both enjoy it and you both feel satisfied at the end.

 

[sixthson]

Since it doesn't work for being jerked off, too, why not try jerking your own cock while he sucks you? Sex should be playful and fun. Explore with each other. If using your hand ultimately is the only thing that works, don't apologize for it, just incorporate it into your sex. Relax and have fun.

 

[SAmatt]

I guess I'm just overthinking everything and expecting it to be a certain way. There's always a self-inflicted pressure to cum and that's likely causing troubles if I'm honest. I think next time I should just suggest that we try different things instead of passively expecting it to be amazing. I'm sure we'll figure something out.

 

[lambdaboy]

In many cases if the person has masturbated a lot the feeling of a bow job or hand job rom another doe not do it for them. st sex therapists would tell you to ay off using your own hand as much it will clear u. Can I ask how often do you jerk off?

 

[SAmatt]

In many cases if the person has masturbated a lot the feeling of a bow job or hand job rom another doe not do it for them. st sex therapists would tell you to ay off using your own hand as much it will clear u. Can I ask how often do you jerk off?

It really does vary depending on how busy my life is. Also how lonely or horny I am (my boyfriend and I live relatively far from one another). So to answer your question sometimes I go days without it but never for a very long time and then it's usually once a day on average.

But then I know my boyfriend jerks off a lot more than I do and he has no problem enjoying the sensation.