bluestar1079 Appreciation Thread

[bluestar1079]

Thanks @Eaglex! you as well

 

[bluestar1079]

@frankifab thanks yes I'm talking it a day at a time. I'm glad people are accepting of the gay community etc. with Pride month and events etc. I mean maybe that is part of my problem thinking of the past with the bullying/tough times yes there will always be idiots but there are nice people who come out and are supportive which i find amazing I like when people are inclusive for a lot of reasons. I know i'll probably meet jerks etc. I hope i don't get physically hurt etc. but I know there are lots of good people too.

 

[bluestar1079]

It's nice to feel loved by strangers/different people I know i shouldn't worry about boyfriend/relationship but to me I guess i just want a magical man to appear lol maybe that's like a fairy tale but who knows. I know this isn't good but sometimes i just wish someone would just come in my room and take me away yes maybe that's silly talk it's just nice in my heart to feel like someone else i love is wanted/needed. I want to make someone else feel special/happy besides myself.

 

[Eaglex]

Sometimes I feel the same.
Especially when I listen to Kate Voegele's Only Fooling Myself.

 

[bluestar1079]

LOL so we all feel that way I love old romantic comedies I've seen pretty much all of them all I think about is those "Cinderella" type fantasies but I know they don't happen often in life One of my Favorite movies of all time is "Pretty Woman" with Julia Roberts & Richard Gere I know it's totally fantasy like a Prostitute gets rescued by a rich man in everyday life hahaha but it's a dream, I guess.

 

[Eaglex]

It really seems to be.
That's kind of why I try writing fanfiction for at least a version of me to have a relationship.

 

[frankifab]

It's nice to feel loved by strangers/different people I know i shouldn't worry about boyfriend/relationship but to me I guess i just want a magical man to appear lol maybe that's like a fairy tale but who knows. I know this isn't good but sometimes i just wish someone would just come in my room and take me away yes maybe that's silly talk it's just nice in my heart to feel like someone else i love is wanted/needed. I want to make someone else feel special/happy besides myself.

Hi Michael , I feel the same way . I want a magical man to come and rescue me / take me away from the chaos I live in . It's not foolish to feel that way . We've got a lot of love to give . We've got to keep on believing there's someone out there for us . There has to be a man for us ... Let's not lose our hope Michael . I also get sensitive talking about this , but we must not let it bring us down .

 

[bluestar1079]

I won't lose my hope I'm trying to be strong about it lol. Are you handsome/cute Franki? lol anyway I know you feel lonely at times too bad we live far away because you'd like to hang out maybe if you ever come to America yeah, it's really far though just to do some fun stuff we like or whatever.

 

[bluestar1079]

Well, it's just nice to have you guys to talk too maybe one day i could meet some of you but who knows lol. I just really feel like when I move out away from my parents my life will really begin, I definitely don't wish anything bad upon them because I love them, and they love me yeah, it's just complicated right now. I guess it's because I don't want to die unhappy or feel that way with regrets but yeah i got to take it a step at a time. I mean i wonder if people die before and say I should've done this or that I mean i know people make lists and have wishes that's kind of what it is goals i guess, but I know it takes time to figure them all out the right way.

 

[bluestar1079]

Because it would be nice, I'd really love to travel and see more of the world too The United States different places and maybe even some different countries as well I haven't been to too many places only a few.

 

[bluestar1079]

It really seems to be.
That's kind of why I try writing fanfiction for at least a version of me to have a relationship.

That's really cool you do that.

 

[bluestar1079]

Im not letting stuff bring me down it's just i don't have a lot of exciting things to talk about lol It's ok I wish i did though.

 

[Araucaria]

Good Sunday morning, Michael!

I hope you're having a good weekend, and you'll have a great week ahead!

 

[ShyTwink]

Hey Michael

 

[frankifab]

I won't lose my hope I'm trying to be strong about it lol. Are you handsome/cute Franki? lol anyway I know you feel lonely at times too bad we live far away because you'd like to hang out maybe if you ever come to America yeah, it's really far though just to do some fun stuff we like or whatever.

Modesty aside , I regard myself as a physically attractive man , the problem is that my beauty doesn't fit the prototype that many have as an ideal , therefore for many ignorant basic people I'm a weirdo and not good looking , both kids an adults from an early age called me ugly names trying to make me believe I was a nut and an ugly being , it was hurtful but I knew they were wrong , cus I always knew I wasn't those demeaning names they called me .

It would be cool if we could hang out once a week to listen to music or watch music videos chatting about life ... I also feel tied to my home ... I don't have the tools to leave this house ... Who knows maybe one day we both get to liberate ourselves from the ropes that tie us to our homes ... I hope that we both find our dreamed of man one day Michael

 

[bluestar1079]

Do you have dark hair and dark eyes and tanned skin? lol sorry just wondering or could you describe what you look like to me? are you average weight Sorry if this is personal for you. I'm a little overweight myself I like Latin guys they are hot I like so many types as you know lol. Same thing as me cause i was overweight and had a disability and was gay hung out with girls a lot. I can leave my house i mostly just go to my job a few days a week and shopping etc. or whatever My parents take me places but it's not always like where i want to go lol because I'd like to meet guys and stuff and it's just I need transportation from my parents or public transportation and mostly local and I can't really take trips to far places that is what I would really wish. Ok thanks you take care yourself. Me either cause i wasn't sporty or athletic they were jerks and plus they took the type of Music and TV shows and movies I liked against me so i couldn't admit it to them that's why I talked to the girls.

 

[frankifab]

Hi again Michael , I am 6ft 1 ( I weigh 77 kilograms ) , I've got pale skin and I've got asian like eyes ( I always wear glasses cus of the myopia and astigmatism ) , dark brown hair ( I like bleaching it to light blond ) and brown eyes ... I am slim ( kinda lanky long arms and legs ) Maybe in the upcoming weeks I'll use a real pic of my face as my avatar so I'm no longer an unknown face . As a kid / teen I was never sporty or athletic ... I was made fun of cus I was clumsy to play sports so I did not participate in the physical activities at school, As I told you in the past I also hanged out with girls mostly when I was in school ...

 

[PalacePaul]

Good evening Michael (and Frankie)
Mmmm I see you need some motivation here
I was never athletic, never played sports, I was a nerd. The boys said gay slurs behind my back. I was scared of them and scared of life.
But you know what? As an adult you do what you want! You decide the life you want to live.
I'm 40, I'm a musician (I never dreamt I could do that for a living), I have my own appartment. I work out, I look good, I dress the way I want. I'm the man my 15-year-old self could never imagine I don't have all the sex I want but I'm slowly getting there
You all know my family has problems, too. I will always be with them and take care of them, but ultimately it's my life and I make my own decisions.
Yes, you are limited by your families and the place you live but still: you make your own decisions and you aren't doomed to stay in those situations forever.
Big hugs to you, boys

 

[bluestar1079]

Thanks Paul, I agree I like your positive Mindset and I appreciate you so very much as a friend more than you'll ever know. It's just tough with the challenges I agree I will have to get through them I'm 42 a few years older than you. I wish you lived by me so much I like your personality a lot. Atleast i can come on here and have good people to talk to. I know things are up to me it's just that I want to make a lot of changes and they will take alot of time it's just difficult for me to have conversations with my parents etc if you get what i mean sometimes i stay silent because people start talking over me etc. But yes I know i should improve myself I shouldn't come on here depressed and say the kind of stuff I do. I appreciate all of you thanks it's like i have a family here that i never thought i would. I just get lazy and tired and don't care at times which isn't positive lol. Well, I'm happy things worked out for you that's good. Yes you and Franki and me sound a lot alike with what school was like. I loved New Kids on the Block i still do i know Frankie did as well I had a lunchbox and they made fun of me for it that i had to cover up their faces with stickers. I danced to one of their songs in a talent show and of course got made fun of from some people but a lot of people actually applauded me and I was happy. I had a Snow-white lunch box too i believe ok don't laugh i forget what other ones i had. Teachers thought i was strange too I think i said it earlier i played with little girls in the kitchen playset at preschool they thought that behavior was strange and wasn't appropriate called for and I Flapped my arms see the teachers didn't understand disability or Gay i highly doubt that. I have 2 female cousins too that could also be why i act that way and I don't have any brothers or sisters I'm an only child. I loved Punky Brewster and Care Bears and Rainbow Brite, My little Pony etc. anything with Bright colors etc. In it you get my point. I loved Saved by the Bell and Beverly Hills 90210 and had crushes on the guys on those shows. My parents didn't know i kept being gay a secret I mean they let me like whatever I liked and kind of stood up for me and didn't see anything wrong with it because I loved boybands etc. and hot male celebrities, they didn't want me to go on adult porn sites but i did sometimes and chats I printed out pictures of hot guys I liked from the internet and sometimes hid them and i would jerk off to the pictures sometimes lol yes. I read girly books like Sweet Valley Twins/High and Babysitters Club. lol I'm not embarrassed by any of it and i shouldn't be, i guess. I took Culinary Arts in High school I went to Vocational High school and yes, those boys were mean What they did was Ripped up my pants one time was so awful and tried to lock me and a girl in the refrigerator and most of the time they got away with it which was ridiculous called me gay slurs too. I am over it now but yeah it was terrible. I liked stuffed animals too and gentle type of things I was never into heavy and scary type stuff too much.

 

[bluestar1079]

Ok no more negative talk from me here I promise I'll try lol I know the past is over.