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Body hair embarrassment

alzmqp said:
Hello. I am 28 years old, single. I would like to extend a warm welcome to all of you. This is my first post here, however I have been browsing the forum for months. I am very pleased to be here with you 🙂
I would like to ask you how to stop being ashamed of my body hair, especially the one on my chest? My chest hair pattern is something between PS and PSI (a little more than PS, less than PSI). As a rule, I don't wear v-neck and other shirts that expose my chest hair, because I'm ashamed of showing it. You'll probably find this strange, but for example, I haven't worn shorts for years because I'm ashamed to show the hair on my legs. I am also ashamed to be unshaven at work. There are more such examples.
I am ashamed to show my body hair both in front of family, friends and others. I can't somehow overcome my resistance - I think some people would think it's disgusting and unfine. What is interesting, while I'm ashamed to show that I am quite hairy, in case of other men I find body hair extremely sexy and exciting. Thus, I don't want to shave my body hair, I just want to stop feeling embarrassment. What would you advise me?

Thank you in advance for your answers.
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Welcome to posting and coming out of the shadows. We all were wondering what that hairy thing was lurking there. :LOL:

On a serious note, is it possible you developed the shame from one of a few likely sources? Were you raised in a household of women, absent of a father, and absorbed the feminine aversion to body hair? Or have you possibly been a fan of muscleboy or bodybuilder porn where they obsessively shave and preen to show off the muscle contours?

As for a way to turn it all around, it probably depends on where you live in the world. If you're in Mongolia or the far north, your access to beaches will be nil, so that matters. I'd find your way to a sunny beach and enjoy being somewhere the human body natural is celebrated, like those sunbathers. Although you will find some shaven and depiliated specimens, you're find more men au naturel, and see how perfectly normal body hair is. Of course, the presentation of it ranges wide from beer-bellied old men to handsome young otters, but you'll soon find your comfort zone and see that people indeed accept the hairiness of men, even back hair.

I share your aversion to going out unshaven. Very, very rarely will I go to even the dollar store without shaving, but it's more because my beard is too sparse to be attractively groomed, and I'm not an admirer of 14-year-old's pre-beards. :LOL:
 
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Love it all.
 
No need to be embarrassed. Guys sport all kinds of body hair these days from shave bare to gorilla. It's all ok.

If you are unhappy with your hair consider manscaping a bit.

I hope you will post a picture. I think you'd be surprise how may guys love your hairiness.
 
Dears,

Thanks to all of you who have commented until now. You are truly kind and wonderful. It is gratifying to read that body hair is a turn-on for others. As I mentioned earlier, it is for me too. As far as other men are concerned, I think there is no such term as a 'too hairy man', i.e. in case of others I would accept (with real pleasure) any body hair, on any part of the body. You are right claiming that my embarrassment regarding my own body hair is probably caused by various factors. One of them is public opinion. So far, I have heard and read various negative opinions about body hair – disgusting, unfashionable, men with lots of body hair look like monkeys etc.. These were opinions unrelated to myself - I hide my body hair, so nobody sees it. I admit that these were mostly opinions of women (often before 30), and although I am gay, any such opinion brings down. Another example, there was a guy at our work who was very proud of his body hair - he always wore his shirt unbuttoned showing off his hairy chest. And sometimes behind his back, when he was absent, a few people were laughing and commenting: "that's not nice", "I do not understand why is he showing that fur on his chest in public", "there's nothing worth showing here", "what is he proud of - he could be proud of your own achievements but not of something that is genetically determined, such as chest hair").
Public opinion is probably one of the factors.

Referring to your messages:​

cabinfever said:
Can I ask - what is it exactly that you are ashamed by? Is it hair in general or the type of hair?
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I am generally ashamed to show any kind of body hair. It sounds bizarre, but even something as basic as leg hair (something absolutely normal in case of men) or showing even a few hairs on my chest makes me feel ashamed, let alone some hair on other body parts.​

Vannie said:
At 28 it's time to not give a fuck what others think of you. As long as your hygienic and smell good.
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I agree that it is time to finally accept myself a little bit. And hygiene is a very important and fundamental issue for me.​

Peloso said:
You didn't mention if you are out to your family and friends, or if you're personally accepting of being gay. If you're not, this could be a reason.
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I am out to my mother, but to the rest of my family as well as to my friends I am not. I think I rather accept the fact that I am a gay.​

Peloso said:
As far as appearance is concerned, current social trends favor primped, feminized versions of masculinity over a more natural look
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This is one of probably several reasons for my embarrassment. I have written about this above, in this post.​

Peloso said:
Are you sexually inhibited? This could be another reason. Perhaps you haven't been with a lot of men who are turned on my it.
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I am generally a person with a lot of big complexes, which makes it difficult for me to open up and get into relationships.​

NotHardUp1 said:
On a serious note, is it possible you developed the shame from one of a few likely sources? Were you raised in a household of women, absent of a father, and absorbed the feminine aversion to body hair? Or have you possibly been a fan of muscleboy or bodybuilder porn where they obsessively shave and preen to show off the muscle contours?
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Rather the first option. Since I was a child I was surrounded mainly by a female environment - my mother and her female friends. It just so happened that since I was a child I also had far more female friends than male friends. My father is physically present, but the relationship with him is not so good and the normal conversation with him is almost impossible. In general, he has always acted as if he wants to live alone and as if having a family is exhausting for him. He also has hair on his chest and stomach. Sometimes I get the impression that I am ashamed of my body hair e.g. because I don't want to resemble him. There are probably many factors and experiences contributing to my embarrassment.

Some of you have suggested me to insert my photos here for evaluation. I'll do that in the next message.

Best regards,
Dominik​
 
Dears,

As I wrote in the message just above, according to your suggestions I am posting my photos. Because of photos limit, I have to send two messages. As you will see, some parts of my body are not extremely furry, but are hairy in an average way. However, some parts of the body are much hairier.
My body hair is strange and patchy – I have chest hair, if I wore a v-neck shirt it would be a bit visible. Although this hair is not sparce, the chest is not hairy completely – the hair doesn't reach my collar bones nor my neck and it doesn't stick out of the top when I wear a crew neck. I think my chest is not hairy above average - I have seen a lot of men much hairier there, whose chest hair sticks out of the crew neck and even grows up the neck and it turns me on when I see that kind of chest hair in other men. My stomach is not so hairy – I have there a lot of bright hair, but this hair is quite invisible. Instead, I have more hair on my upper arms and shoulders, and quite a lot on my back (upper back, shoulder blades etc.). As for the hair on my back, I don't have it exclusively on the middle part of my back, which is also quite strange. It's very embarrassing because, for example, the hair on my upper back can stick out when I put on a T-shirt. And I'm afraid that while in the case of chest hair a lot of people like it and understand it, then most people seeing back hair sticking out through a T-shirt already feel disgusted. Although I do like it when I see other guys with that kind of back hair sticking out of a shirt. Because of the hair on my shoulders, on the other hand, I NEVER wear a sleeveless shirt, which is sometimes not comfortable, because in summer it would be better to wear one. But shaving the hair there is unfine, because this hair grows back quickly and quickly becomes visible again. Thus, as you can see, on the one hand I like body hair and would like to be hairy, and on the other hand I am ashamed to show my hair and with this contradiction I would like to fight, because it is very strange.

Best regards,
Dominik​

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The third message today, containing the second part of photos - the worse one. Some of the photos are of poor quality and don't show everything, but I had trouble photographing my back, for example. Of course, I never wear such v-neck shirts and such unbuttoned shirts in public as I did so in the pictures - I did it only for the purpose of photos. I apologise if anyone feels disgusted while looking at the photos. Apologies also for the slight acne on my back.

Best regards,
Dominik

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If Corny were still around, he'd be messaging alzmqp about now. ;)
 
Totally fuckable.

But I think we now have a sense of why you are embarrassed by your hair.

You don't want to be your father.

And you aren't.

And I would love to see you in shorts on the beach rocking that leg fur.

I would make this suggestion....maybe get a trimmer for your chest hair just to see if having some control over it makes you feel better about it.

Although I just don't see the need to change a thing. I wish I still had this furriness.
 
Hawt.

Hawt.

Hawt.

Get some counseling about your shame. I'm certain it will help.

Hawt!

:LOL:
 
alzmqp said:
As for the hair on my back, I don't have it exclusively on the middle part of my back, which is also quite strange. It's very embarrassing because, for example, the hair on my upper back can stick out when I put on a T-shirt. And I'm afraid that while in the case of chest hair a lot of people like it and understand it, then most people seeing back hair sticking out through a T-shirt already feel disgusted.​
Click to expand...

A couple of things. There is no point in pretending that some are put off by back hair, or even excessive hair on the biceps, usually women, but including many bodybuilders who rabidly slather depilatory or shave to get an aquiline surface that feeds the obsession to show musculature.

There's nothing strange about your hair. It's a phenotype, just a recessive one, like blond-haired people. Your genes are simply less common, and becoming less common in every generation since evolution selects for purpose, and body hair has long outlived its natural purpose in Homo sapiens. This is the primary reason why science fiction writers depict alien humanoids as smooth and hairless because the likely transformation of our species in thousands of years hence will be just such a look.

That doesn't make hairy men a throwback or unacceptable any more than different skin pigments, or hair color, etc. It's just part of the ebb and tide of evolution.

Your principle task is to get the necessary counseling to free you from your inhibition, from your shame, and liberate you to enjoy being you, tee shirts or bare on the beach. Once you succeed in owning your look, your body, you'll have a quiet joy that will follow you around and be an added boon. Will everyone admire you? Absolutely not, but plenty will and many men will envy you.

I can only grow signifcant visible hair on my legs, and have always liked leg hair. My beard is too sparse to even allow a scruff to form. You won the lottery, so you should revel in it.

It may also suit you to get more tan, as that can affect how black hair looks against pale skin. And, if your genes are just so, sun will lightent the color, which can be even more pleasing.
 
If you're suggesting we can't get counseling, that would be errant.

Most health insurance plans have a mental health component, including substance abuse addiction therapy.

Most plans have a default of five or so sessions for counseling, but then more as needed. You can get the five sessions with no referral or anything. I used the service myself in 2016 & 2017.

Or is your comment about inhibitions?
 
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