Body Issues-surprise surprise :D

[ausdude2010]

Ok, firstly let me say Hi from Australia.

This is my first ever post on this forum, and before I go on, let me say this is a great forum, funny, informative and just hot at times.

Anyway I registered mainly because I wanted to ask for some advise regarding my problem, and yes its about my body, I know an old story but its affecting me in ways I thought it never would.

To cut a long story short, I used to be fat, now in my defense not overly overweight or obese, but nevertheless a big boy. It was never an issue finding dates, but like so many, I wanted to loose some of those extra kg's, feel better about myself but most importantly feel healthier, which I wasn't.

After 8 months of watching what I eat, and regular exercise, I lost the weight.

Ok now here's the problem, the weight-loss has left my body, looking "not so tight", ie. its left me with extra skin hanging. Its not as bad as we've all seen on the TV shows, but it is affecting my dating. Everything is fine, until the time comes for some fun and I back out.

This has been going on for 18 months nows!!! Are my dating days over?

I make light of it but it is actually having a negative affect, has anyone else faced this???

Oh and as much as I would have surgery in a flash, my finances arent the best for that

 

[moonybig]

to jub

 

[MarkMySpoT]

hi and welcome. this probably won't help much...but i am figuring that if these are guys that you are dating, that they would accept all of you, whether it be having a unibrow or hair on your back, or funky quirks like licking his nose (just examples, not meant to imply nething), they probably don't care about the extra skin.
well i do feel yah, i have alopecia, so it affects my hair anywhere on my body. i have noticed that when things start to get physical with someone, i start to push away from the whole thing. but after the first couple of times, it comes down to am i in control of my fears or is the alopecia in control of my fears. yeah so the fear is still in the back of my head when physical situations arise, but i do my best to keep going. otherwise, i won't be getting any action except from my left and right hand. well hope that all makes sense. good luck to you.

 

[ausdude2010]

Thanks for the guys and especially thanks MarkMySpot, for your advise. Yes that all did make sense and I get what you are saying, and maybe I'm making more of it than it is, however i do notice that it does come as a surprise to guys when I tell them I used to overweight and before I let them see me shirtless, because everything looks normal.

Im probably letting theearly bad experiences with guys control my future prospects, and like you say, the guys i date should be accepting of who I am or what I look like, quirks and all.

I hope I wont have to rely "only" on my hand/s to see me through this.

 

[rotary]

I've dropped from 215 lbs to 153 lbs. Naturally my stomach isn't going to be ultra tight with 6 pack abs you can bounce a quarter off of. It's not terrible though and I could live with it. I already had a consultation with a plastic surgeon to remove the excess skin, and I have enough saved to have the surgery but I'm chicken to bite the bullet and actually schedule it. I'm thinking this winter would be good as the recovery time is a few weeks with very little physical exertion.

Unfortunately surgery is the only remedy. Just make sure you'd be doing it for yourself. I know I am. Any guy who takes issue with it can go fuck himself.

 

[MarkMySpoT]

Just make sure you'd be doing it for yourself.

i so agree with that.^

 

[crowboy]

Welcome to JUB ausdude2010

I too have lost a bit of weight but not enough to the extent of having loose skin. I still have issues with my body and this prevented me from being comfortable being naked in front of guys.

I have found however that if the guy is into you it ultimately does not matter. My bf seems happy with me the way I am. I am not perfect and I still hate looking at myself in a mirror. But he likes me for who I am and that is what counts.

If you are a decent guy (and I'm thinking you prob are) a guy will want you for you and not gave a rats about a bit of loose skin.

I wish you well in what you do mate. Take care.

 

[mike_n_herrin]

i've only lost 30 pounds so far but i dont think i'll lose any more. i'm not tall. only 5'2" and now i'm down to 119 so i think i'm ok. but i've noticed a little lose skin. sit ups are helping and i'm doing neck exercises to try and tighten the skin around my neck. i've noticed some improvement but have only been at it a few weeks. you might try exercises that target the particular area.

- mikey

 

[ausdude2010]

Thanks again guys, its nice to know I'm not alone.

I have tried and continue to exercise, ie targeting the mid section to tighten the skin to some extent it has helped. In your case Mikey, I think thats a good weight/height ratio, in my case im 5'11 and now 79kg (approx:174). Some had said I could use some weight, but I think Rotary is spot on, I think the only solution is surgery....

and yes i would definitely do it for my self. In the past I have done things to please others which left me open to abuse. And maybe this is a remnant of that (Im psychoanalyzing myself).

Anway, Crowboy, your words of encouragement are much appreciated, and I shouldn't let other guys judge me, and if they do, they're not worth knowing...it is sinking in.

I still don't look at myself in the mirror, and I don't think I ever will.The main thing is that I find someone who is accepting of me. I Got It and maybe I should accept the new me too.

Thanks and Cheers guys