Book suggestions for a misogynist?

[alli-berri]

Debated between posting in this section or Relationships. I think this will do. Anyhow, I'm only going to be home for another month or so, but the last couple months I've been here have painfully reminded me how poorly my father treats my mother, and how stuck she feels to endure it.

He loves to read, and has a lot of respect for my verbose criticisms. Soon, I am to confront him and deeply (but tactfully) criticize the way he treats her - I cannot leave home knowing my mother must be complacent living her life this way.

When I approach him, I want to give him a book, and was curious if anyone here might have any ideas or suggestions. What if it's too feminist? What if it's not feminist enough? Does it even need to be feminist? Will he get the point if it's ____ or not ____ blank? Only a few of my concerns...

I really want to make an impact on him. I've done it before, but this time it's more important, I think.

Some details:
He is not physically abusive, but the actions (ignoring, constant discrediting, apathetic responses) towards his wife are appalling, and never-ending. She was blissfully raised in the 50's and has been very emotionally damaged by him. He was brought up amongst lower-middle class "rednecks" in the 60s, a reclusive, unpopular and damaged boy all his life.

He needs her to heal his wounds, but she'll never (thank goodness) even try to show him that healing kindness until he repairs any fraction of what he's done to her. If that makes sense.

Thanks for any suggestions or thoughts, I really appreciate it.

 

[Jacquemar]

Judging by the number of replies, I think you came to the wrong place.

 

[ronboy]

I think it would be best to place this in the relationships forum. I will move it there for you. Perhaps you will find the answers and advice you seek.

 

[alli-berri]

Judging by the number of replies, I think you came to the wrong place.

Haha, so it seems...

I think it would be best to place this in the relationships forum. I will move it there for you. Perhaps you will find the answers and advice you seek.

Thanks, we'll see

 

[bendted]

I highly doubt he'd be receptive to book about a problem (females) that he dosen't perceive to have. My father sounds like a carbon copy of yours and nothing and no one could get through to him about the way he treated my mother.
The hell only ended when my mother got the courage to divorce him. You may have better luck talking with your mother, but if she enjoys the '50s' lifetstlye then there really isn't much you can do (my mother loathed that lifestyle).

 

[alli-berri]

I highly doubt he'd be receptive to book about a problem (females) that he dosen't perceive to have.

Unfortunately, I think you're probably right. I can imagine him contradicting every point in his head.

My father sounds like a carbon copy of yours and nothing and no one could get through to him about the way he treated my mother.
The hell only ended when my mother got the courage to divorce him.

It makes me so glad to hear that, power to her!! Divorce can be messy, so I hope it was a RELATIVELY clean cut, without others too hurt in the process (such as children).

You may have better luck talking with your mother, but if she enjoys the '50s' lifetstlye then there really isn't much you can do (my mother loathed that lifestyle)

I wish my mother loathed it... She of course expected to have a happy, Leave it to Beaver family... and who's to blame her? She had one growing up.

At this point she feels stuck in the situation, as she is financially dependent upon him (the only responsibility he believes necessary for a husband/father to uphold ).

Her only hopes now, I'm beginning to think, are 1) my earning enough $$$ to rescue her, or 2) him dying. ........HMMM

Thanks for sharing and responding, bendted.

(PS, I would never kill anybody But accidents do happen...)

 

[MorrisseyX]

I am a Women's Studies major and I have some suggestions of some feminist books. These books can be found at any public library.

1. "Ain't I A Woman?" by bell hooks
2. "Fighting Fire With Fire" by Naomi Wolf
3. "The Beauty Myth" by Naomi Wolf
4. "The Second Sex" by Simone De Beauvoir
5. "Sister Outside" by Audre Lorde.

Of course there are tons more books. Why don't you visit a bookstore or library and check out the feminist theory section? There are so many wonderful books on feminism in the library.