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bottomed for 1st time..

blahman16

blahman16

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i bottomed for the first time, and the feeling was just meh. was it supposed to feel good with every thrust, cuz i didn't really seem to enjoy it..

puzzled.

my partner seemed to enjoy it though and kept saying how it was so tight and nice.
 
The first time is never that great. If it didn't hurt you it was probably a better experience than most.
 
it did hurt :( i think i shed a few tears too

it felt better when getting fingered though
 
and if the first time is never that great, do people just want to keep being bottom because eventually it feels great?

cuz after the first time, i feel like i don't really want to bottom anymore
 
I've moved your thread over the Health & Wellbeing since we get a lot of questions about bottoming and first times here.

Up in the top of this forum is a sticky called "All about ass" that has links to some of the prior discussions.


blahman16 said:
and if the first time is never that great, do people just want to keep being bottom because eventually it feels great?

cuz after the first time, i feel like i don't really want to bottom anymore
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Very few things in life are great the first time. The first time we ride a bike, we usually fall down and skin our knees. The first time we drive a car, we have a lot of trouble making our hands, feet and eyes work together.

Yet we expect the first time we take a cock up the bum, it's gonna be the greatest thing.

It usually isn't.

There's a lot of reasons why. Sometimes it's because the other person isn't a patient top and doesn't know how to break in a new bottom. Sometimes it's just a new sensation, you're not relaxed enough and you take things a little too quickly. Most of the time, it's because it's a new sensation and you're too focused on the pain to ever reach the point of pleasure.

Be patient. Try a position where you have a bit more control- like cowboy or reverse cowboy. Make the agreement with your partner that if it starts hurting, you will stop and do something else for a while (or just give it another shot on another night).
 
I'm still a "bottom in waiting". Have bottomed on 10 or so occasions and still adjusting. If your partner is patient and gets you relaxed by fingering you, it is AMAZINGLY erotic and enjoyable.
 
blahman16 said:
and if the first time is never that great, do people just want to keep being bottom because eventually it feels great?
Click to expand...

For people that enjoy bottoming, yes. It did for me. Not every ultimately enjoys it, but even for those that do, it usually takes a few times before you really get a great experience.
 
blahman16 said:
i bottomed for the first time, and the feeling was just meh. was it supposed to feel good with every thrust, cuz i didn't really seem to enjoy it..

puzzled.

my partner seemed to enjoy it though and kept saying how it was so tight and nice.
Click to expand...



Your Partners "rhythm" could play a role as well...Some Guys really know how to work their hips & Dick when they're making love & some do not...Some Guys don't like to have their Ass "Pound" so hard & Fast. That type of Fucking is not enjoyable for some guys that "bottom"..
 
Well, that's understandable. My first time wasn't fun either, but then it gets progressively more fun.
 
The first time I had bottomed, I thought "Well, that's not as painful as I thought it'll be". But at the same time, it wasn't as "stimulating" as I hoped that it'll be.

With more experience, I do find that I'm able to enjoy it a lot more...

But I only really started enjoying anal sex greatly until my boyfriend came along. And it just seems to be getting better with time.
 
I to have a bottom that waiting to experience that first pleasue of cock up my ass. Some day it will cum true.
 
Ok, so I asked my partner if he could tell if guys are bottoms and he said yes, and I asked him when he first met me what he thought about me, he said he knew I was a bottom. How could this be?

I don't like the feeling or concept of being a bottom. I gave it a try because I was curious about it. But he got on my nerves when he said he knows that I love being a bottom when I said I don't want to be a bottom anymore. He said that I organsmed a lot when he fingered me, but isn't that normal because that is the feel-good spot for men?

He also said that he could tell I have reservations about being bottom because it is a sign of weakness. Well, I know myself more than anyone, and he got on my nerves when he was trying to convince me of what I like or don't like.

Can anyone comment on this situation? deep inside I am confused. I just know that I don't like being a bottom and I don't like how he said he could TELL that I am a bottom when he first met me, and he commented that he knew I was a bottom despite me not acting "gay."
 
^

more I wanted to add:

my partner is a top and I asked if he has ever bottomed, and he said just once when he was a teenager and he tells me he doesn't bottom anymore because it is not for him. but during the conversation about me being bottom and it as a sign of weakness, I asked him why he doesn't give bottom a chance again (as he keeps telling me that i AM a bottom), he just laughs it off and can't give a direct answer, because what I am telling him applies to himself also--I gave it a try once, and it's not for me.
 
The whole bottom/top thing is mostly bullshit.

Somehow there's a tendency to try to equate male/female heterosexual roles to male/male sexual positions. Just because a person has a preference for a particular sex act doesn't mean that they are masculine/feminine, dominant/passive, or any other category.

There are people who prefer vanilla ice cream and there are people who prefer chocolate ice cream. We don't try to make any assumptions about people based upon their ice cream preference, nor does anyone say, "You look like the kind of guy who likes vanilla".

Generally, it's safe to assume that anyone who likes ice cream will eat whatever they are offered and that analogy probably extends to gay sex.
 
thank you. I feel that he is exactly trying to force me into a box to feed his own desires. but luckily(?), i have a side of me that makes me quite skeptical/cynical about other people's motives so i'm not going to let him take advantage of me.

ok technically i have bottomed for my partner two times. the first he just rammed it into me and it hurt so much i got tears rushing out my eyes. and he KNEW he was the first person to top me--i felt so much like on object that night, so after a few thrusts i just pulled it out. after that first time, i told him i didn't really like the feeling. the second time, i decided to give it a chance and he was more concerned about me and asked if he should stop every now and then, but i could tell from his face that he enjoyed it topping a whole lot. but, i did not enjoy bottoming the 2nd time--it just doesn't feel as nice as topping. and the thing is i like to top too (from my experience with my past gf), and i don't want to be relegated to a permanent bottom if we were to spend our time together (like long-term partner/couple). i don't know if i made sense, but hopefully someone understands where i am coming from.

he keeps telling me he wouldn't bottom for anyone, so i'll just tell him the day i bottom for him is the day when he bottoms for me. haha! how does this sound?
 
This isn't about top/bottom.

This is about control.

The two of you are are in battle over who controls the sex and who dominates whom in the relationship.

That's a deal-killer for a long-term relationship unless you both are willing to make compromises.
 
Also, this conversation happened in the car, my partner was driving and I was in the passenger seat. When the topic of top/bottom came up, I wasn't looking at him when I said I don't want to bottom anymore, and from the corner of my left eye, he immediately turned over to me when I said I wouldn't bottom.

KaraBulut, control seems to be the issue. He said it himself that he wants to "own" me by topping me, and I'm not the type of person that wants to be owned, but rather one where the playing field is level or mutual respect.
 
blahman16 said:
thank you. I feel that he is exactly trying to force me into a box to feed his own desires. but luckily(?), i have a side of me that makes me quite skeptical/cynical about other people's motives so i'm not going to let him take advantage of me.

ok technically i have bottomed for my partner two times. the first he just rammed it into me and it hurt so much i got tears rushing out my eyes. and he KNEW he was the first person to top me--i felt so much like on object that night, so after a few thrusts i just pulled it out. after that first time, i told him i didn't really like the feeling. the second time, i decided to give it a chance and he was more concerned about me and asked if he should stop every now and then, but i could tell from his face that he enjoyed it topping a whole lot. but, i did not enjoy bottoming the 2nd time--it just doesn't feel as nice as topping. and the thing is i like to top too (from my experience with my past gf), and i don't want to be relegated to a permanent bottom if we were to spend our time together (like long-term partner/couple). i don't know if i made sense, but hopefully someone understands where i am coming from.

he keeps telling me he wouldn't bottom for anyone, so i'll just tell him the day i bottom for him is the day when he bottoms for me. haha! how does this sound?
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I dont like this person you're having sex with....as some of the others mentioned, which position you like in bed has nothing to do with personality or mannerisms. Its about liking or not liking being fucked. Its important in any relationship for two partners to switch it up once in a while, or the person bottoming will be seen as the dependent one.
 
what started to get me thinking was he told me one time he slept with someone and didn't top him because he didn't see him as a bottom, because that person was like a "thug."

so he chooses who are bottoms and who are not? the more i think about this guy i more i am worried. i know well that the facts says i shouldn't trust him, but a part of me do like him. or maybe the part about making me like him is all just his game.
 
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