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Boy i met online

billybob109 said:
I'm not a creepy psycho I just want some damn answers. And he has called me before like a hundred times in a row wheb I have not picked up. He has even put his friends on the phone and having them telling me what is wrong with me for not hanging out with him more.
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The answer is simple- he's playing the silly game that a lot of guys (gay or straight) play.

"I'm not ready for a commitment"
"I just got out of a bad relationship"
"I'm don't want to settle down"

What it really means is, "I'm horny and I wants sex when I want it and I don't want any strings and I don't care about your needs".

So there you have it.

Tell yourself you deserve better and move on.

But I remember your threads from a year ago. When these guys play you and lead you on, you get more interested. These CL hookups and confused young guys just put you through the ringer- there's bound to be at least one nice guy in Yonkers who would treat you better.
 
Eh, friends with benefits can be fun, but it normally ends with just the "benefits." What you're looking for seems to be someone you can talk to, fuck, then talk to after you've fucked; unfortunately, when most guys are looking for fwb, they're just looking for the first two parts and not the third.

Next time you're looking for a "playmate" remember that you're basically going to be hooking up with someone you don't necessarily know. So this person isn't someone you'll be attached to physically and emotionally since you just met and haven't known each other as well as you would know someone from, say, elementary school.

So yeah, if you ever want a FWB type of relationship, don't expect it to run smoothly. It's mainly used by guys to get off. Once they get off, they may change their mind. Most guys tend to be asses and, as you figured out, will ignore EVERY single message you send (even if you have their email, number, address, whatever). Guys for some reason can't just man up and say they aren't outright interested.

This is another reason why you have to just let it go. Yes, people have said it. Yes, you've already read it, but it's the truth. People have mentioned he's playing games. Guys do that. Girls do that. Everyone does it. People fall for it. But it doesn't mean that you have to fall for it. Maybe you just want a monogamous relationship? At least you won't have to worry about your bf ignoring you...thing's that being too clingy and calling every day could end your relationship than maintain it.

Committed relationships seem much more rewarding than hook ups.

whatever happens, good luck :)
 
Wow great advice thanks alot. I have not called him or got in touch with him in anyway or form since i started the thread. Im not sure if its that he was not interested because he would call me non stop and tell me that he was scared that he liked me so much and he did not expect that to happen. So i am not sure where it went wrong i think i was just looking for some kind of closure. Im sure i will get a drunken phone call a month from now and im going to tell him to go to hell. Overall that was the worst FWB type of deal and i did not like it at all its too complicated. What i think it really boils down too is the fact that i could not cum in his throat and thats what he wanted, because why would he go posting on CL for hookups when he could just call me it makes no sense. Oh well ill just find someone else who can get me off i guess.

Alex55 said:
Eh, friends with benefits can be fun, but it normally ends with just the "benefits." What you're looking for seems to be someone you can talk to, fuck, then talk to after you've fucked; unfortunately, when most guys are looking for fwb, they're just looking for the first two parts and not the third.

Next time you're looking for a "playmate" remember that you're basically going to be hooking up with someone you don't necessarily know. So this person isn't someone you'll be attached to physically and emotionally since you just met and haven't known each other as well as you would know someone from, say, elementary school.

So yeah, if you ever want a FWB type of relationship, don't expect it to run smoothly. It's mainly used by guys to get off. Once they get off, they may change their mind. Most guys tend to be asses and, as you figured out, will ignore EVERY single message you send (even if you have their email, number, address, whatever). Guys for some reason can't just man up and say they aren't outright interested.

This is another reason why you have to just let it go. Yes, people have said it. Yes, you've already read it, but it's the truth. People have mentioned he's playing games. Guys do that. Girls do that. Everyone does it. People fall for it. But it doesn't mean that you have to fall for it. Maybe you just want a monogamous relationship? At least you won't have to worry about your bf ignoring you...thing's that being too clingy and calling every day could end your relationship than maintain it.

Committed relationships seem much more rewarding than hook ups.

whatever happens, good luck :)
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So just an update if anyone cares i broke down and i talked to him on aol.. we chatted for a few minutes and i asked him if he wanted to hang for my bday and he said sure which is a no. And than i check criagslist tonight just browsing and he posted an ad for throat fucking
"21 m ... border want a guy to come over and pound my throat out....i want a guy to enjoy my mouth....email me back for more info...and i have pics to trade " He has posted nothing in a while and the day i talk to him he goes and does this i do not get him at all he is fucking crazy in the head!
 
^ I am sorry, but you are the one who is crazy in the head. I am not trying to insult you, but this post makes you, not him, the unbalanced one mentally.
 
I don't see anything in his actions that's "fucked in the head".

You asked if he wanted to hang out for your birthday. He said "Sure", which sounds at best non-committal. Then he posts an ad saying he wants to be facefucked.

To me, these are two separate and distinct actions. One doesn't have anything to do with the other. But since you've been...well, let me say "interested" enough in him to keep several eyes on CL looking for further posts from him, you recognize that this is the first time he posted something in awhile, and so feel that they must be related.

Are they? I still don't think so. But if they are, I'd say it's likely it went something like this. "Hm. BillyBob is the guy who facefucked me a couple times. That was pretty cool. Maybe I should see if I can find another guy to give it a go." And whatever his motivation, I'd say the fact that he posted this makes it pretty clear that he doesn't want YOU to be the guy facefucking him. If it were, he woulda just asked you to.

Lex
 
Sooo last night i did some drunk emailing..

I was at the bar and i saw soo many hot boys and i could not take it anymore, i really wanted to be with someone or at least hook up. So i sent him an email with my blackberry asking him for his number becuase remember i deleted everything from my phone and i did not know his phone number. He quickly responds with it and i give him a call.

I tell him how glad i am to hear his voice which i was and that he was in CT at some friends house and he was doing cocaine. So that already was bad news so i kind of pushed it to the side and we talked for almost 40mins

We talked about alot of things i told him that i deleted his number and that why i neeeded it and he said that the reason he was ignoring me was that i reminded him too much of his EX who was very controlling. I was getting alot of out him becuase i was kind of drunk and he was yipped up so he talked alot.

He also kept on saying that he wants me to cum in his throat but for some odd reason i can not cum when i am with him, which i cummed every single time with every other partner. I then stated is that why you stopped talking to me becuase i cant cum in your throat and he said not but he kept on mentioning that one fact.

Then was also talked about becoming boyfriends and that he would not want to be "that friend" becuase i am not out to alot of people at work and a few of my friends. But i do have friends that know about him. What he really wants to happen this weekend is for me to spend the night with him and cuddle and cum in his throat. I told him that i really want him to bottom for me and he said that it was grose and that he does not like doing it and he will do it if i bring over some coke and than it would be easier for him.

So now affter him ignoring every single call from me and text for almost a month now.. today which i spoke to him last night now i am getting pictures of him sitting by the pool shirtless and he looks fucking hot and has a new haircut.

So people am i in some kinf of fucking crazy drama web how do i get out of it or fix it?
 
The question really is whether you really want to end these disastrous cycles that end up with you chasing some guy and being disappointed, hurt and alone. Isn't it?

I mean the stories are entertaining. But they always end the same.
 
Türk kahve, orta, for me. Oh, and a cinnamon scone.
 
So many effin' stalkers on this board.

LEAVE THE GUY ALONE; HE'S NOT FUCKING INTERESTED.
 
Scones! Wow, I didn't even know they had scones. With cream and lemon curd...

Lex
 
<<<-- does not drink coffee and does not appreciate making fun of the O.P about his problems:mad:
 
^ Billybob, we aren't trying to belittle you. We've given you the best advice we can, and so far, you haven't accepted any of it. So, we're at a loss of anything more to say. This thread should have ended at #24, yet you continue this cycle of self-destructive behavior that is only going to hurt you in the end.

As we've said time and time again. STOP seeing him. STOP contacting him. MOVE on. He's a coke head slut on Craigslist. You can't even cum when you're with him. There is no point to all this! The only thing you're getting off on here is the drama. Don't you see you are enabling yourself here?
 
^ ^ Billybob, Think of it as everyone laughing with you then, not at you.

Have you ever thought of developing a mature relationship with some guy that isn't totally fucked up?
 
billybob109 said:
<<<-- does not drink coffee and does not appreciate making fun of the O.P about his problems:mad:
Click to expand...

Just_Believe18 said:
^ Billybob, we aren't trying to belittle you. We've given you the best advice we can, and so far, you haven't accepted any of it. So, we're at a loss of anything more to say.
Click to expand...

rareboy said:
^ ^ Billybob, Think of it as everyone laughing with you then, not at you.
Click to expand...

Coffee isn't our way of laughing. Coffee is our break when we get frustrated because we care, we give our best advice with the knowledge that people don't have to take or follow the advice and when we know the whole thing is going to blow up in your face.

Doing really dumb and self-destructive things is one way of learning. It's not the best way but it is one way.

What I'm wondering- after following your threads for nearly two years- is when are you going to learn? I have no doubt that you deserve better but it just seems you're hooking up with guys in public parks, running after straight guys or playing cat-and-mouse with trainwrecks like this Craigslist hookup.

You tell us- why don't you believe that you deserve better?
 
Coffee time isn't "laugh at the OP time". It's...well, let me give you an oversimplification.

"It hurts when I bang my head against the wall. Any advice?"
"OK. Maybe you shouldn't bang your head against the wall."
"Thanks for the advice. So I got up and banged my head against the wall again this morning, and now my head hurts again. What should I do?"
"Well, again, maybe you should stop banging your head against the wall."
"AUGH! I banged my head against the wall this afternoon, and my head is killing me. Why does this keep happening to me?"

After a while, I just get the feeling I'm spinning my wheels. And it's not so much that my advice is being ignored or not followed - I'm totally cool with that. It's that the behavior-that-leads-to-heartache continues, and we get another "what should I do?" post. I can continue cutting and pasting my previous entries, or come up with a new way of saying the same thing (and try not to lose my cool while doing it)...

...or I can just step away. That's what I did a while back in another thread. I finally said, "You know what? Forget this. I'm going for coffee." And, to my surprise, other regular CO&R posters said "Wait - I'll join you." It became a sort of running thing for us. When an OP would continue ignoring the advice, making the same mistakes, and asking the same questions, we'd stop yelling the same advice, and simply "go out for coffee".

Lex
 
Boys boys boys i did it again, and to think i learned from my mistakes?

So ive been talking to him like every single day now on the phone, text messaging and on aol till 1am its like crazy. I realized that he is not my BF and prob will not be. He makes sarcastic remarks like ill say "will you call me this weekend" and he will responded with a "Possibly" and i said "your a dick" he said "I know" Than i replied with "a small one you are". He got so mad it was almost like he liked me cracking on him or something. Ive just been acting like a totally different person when i talk to him like i do not even care.

Now... When we were talking last night on aol i was telling him how i wanted to move and what not and somehow something came up and he said that he got alot of action during the summer so far. And i said ya me too i got blown the other night and he was like "WTF dont tell me shit like that". He was jealous that i was sharing infomoration like that with him. For some reason he can not tell me what he wants with me still. He says that he does not know what to feel, and he apoligized for ignoring me for that amount of time.

I told him that he does not care about anyone but himself and he says that this is the first time he has ever felt like that becuase all of his previous BF's were dicks and that he relies on a man to take care of him. I also think that he is a total slut becuase i mentioned that we would have a pool boy and that he could dream about fucking him and he said "dream?". As of right now he is not BF material at all even he is ever wanted to get to a stage of that kind and i do not see it happening at any time soon or ever in fact.

Se we just have been doing alottt of talking and i still have not seen him in person yet in a while. As of now my feelings or anything have not been hurt and it is kind of cool to talk to someone about sex and other things. My bday is on sun and im going to see what happens on that day if he calls me or not i reminded him during the week but i will see if he remembers and gives me a call. Even as friends one should call someone on there bday, well i believe so.

So who is ready for a very very large cup of coffee?
 
I wouldn't be suprised if he doesn't call you on your bday

instead you call him on your bday talk about coke and face fucking and other stuff and then go your back to writing another essay in this thread
 
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