boy trouble, mixed signals.. :[

[Runner1]

Hey guys, just as a little background--

I'm a Freshmen in college, anddd there's a guy in my dorm that gives me a ton of mixed signals. Whenever he's drunk, he comes up behind me.. rubs my stomach and kisses me on my cheek. He always tells me how great of a body he thinks I have.. and when he's sober he likes to pull me close and hug me. A lot of people say they get the stereotypical gay "vibe" around him.. but whatever i'm going off the attention he gives me.

He's a really nice guy, but i've been trying to figure out if he is just really affectionate or if he's actually gay... but tonight i found out he's trying to talk to this girl on the first floor.. i was understandably pretty crushed... i just don't know what he wants.. he still shows me so much physical attention.

Typical conversation:

Him: Hey, buddy.. (grabs arm) you're so muscular, look at you.
Me: haha, so whats going on with you and that girl?
Him: Clara? idk she's so cute.. she kind of looks like your hot sister
Me: You're an ass.
Him: What am i supposed to be dating you or something??
Me: um, yea? (jokingly)
Him: that can be arranged...

Blah.. I can't stop thinking about this boy and it's really starting to affect me. What do you guys think I should do? If he is straight and he's just fooling around with me then I'm totally taking it the wrong way. Should I draw the line? If so, how? Keep in mind he's friends with a lot of my friends, we live on the same floor and i see him all the time.
Thanks guys.

 

[VICTORIADON]

How about the next time he comes up behind you and feels your stomach, lean back into him gently and say that feels good. See where it leads.

Don't "draw the line" you are enjoying the attention, as frustrating as it is, it is still nice to have someone fawn over you!

 

[pausanias_usa]

I'd say he's hitting you over the head with signals. Call him on it like the poster above stated.

 

[rareboy]

I want to say.......'duuuuuuuuuuhhhhh', but it might be misconstrued.

I'm constantly astonished that there is yet another generation of gay guys with no cognitive skills.

Have you ever thought of doing the same thing back to him sometime?

 

[sixthson]

I'd tell him "Put up or shut up, buddy."

 

[threetimes]

How about the next time he comes up behind you and feels your stomach, lean back into him gently and say that feels good. See where it leads.

if he move away, i stand in to take his place

 

[G-Lexington]

Is this how people think it works? You stand still, say nothing, do nothing, don't respond at all, and eventually someone picks you up and takes you to his room?

He's not giving you "mixed signals". He's giving you "I find you attractive" signals. You're the one sending mixed signals. You're apparently gay and out, but when someone touches you or hits on you, you're not responding.

Next time he touches you, TOUCH BACK.
Next time he flirts with you, FLIRT BACK.

Lex

 

[SilverRRCloud]

He is playing around with you. That much is very obvious.

Option 1
Play back with him.

Option 2
Leave him alone.

My gut feeling is somehow telling me that he happens to be a horny college dude, and he would go with whomever he finds attractive AND is willing and available without much ado.

SC

 

[toywifme]

I just one to say one thing..you 2 are really cute. hugging and cheek kissing like that.

i'm having somthing quite similar here. affectionate in his text, but really different in real life.

he he rubs ur stomach again, grab his hand and just hold it. both of his hands, and talk to him.

you dont want to make a fool of yourself by thinking too much, talk to him about it.

*************************************
the worst is to have him use you. this happened to me once, a guy i really like wanted to have some 'school-boy sex' when we were 17, and after that, i was nothing.

 

[yankee]

I'm pretty newbie but that right thier sounds like fullblown out getting hit on.....hes hitting your head with a mallet with signals saying hes gay and he likes you.

 

[backpacker]

Time to stop playing games. Face it, both of you have been playing the game. He's probably thinking the same thing you are.

Find a why to have a private, in person conversation with him. Tell him you feel like he has been sending you a lot of mixed signals and you don't know what to think. Unless you two have a frank conversation, this stuff is just going to keep happening. Good luck!

 

[Runner1]

Idk, i tried to bring up gay stuff with him and he doesn't seem to have a problem with it. But he has told me that he had a girlfriend for two years and that he was in love with her. If he is trying to get with me then idk it just totally discourages me. He texts this girl a lot and theyve drunkenly hooked up a bunch of times...

You guys are all in agreement that he's hitting on me. What's the best way to clear the air? Just flat-out tell him I'm gay and that I don't know what he wants? He's like the center of attention alllllllll the time and everyone loves him.. It's really hard to get him alone (when he kisses me on the cheek, rubs my stomach, and makes comments about my body he does it in front of EVERYONE including his "boys".. his like main group of straight guys that he hangs with..

He is absolutely the MOST adorable boy ever.. he's driving me nuts!

& P.S.
You guys are the best... thanks SO much for the feedback :]