The Original Gay Porn Community - Free Gay Movies and Photos, Gay Porn Site Reviews and Adult Gay Forums

  • Welcome To Just Us Boys - The World's Largest Gay Message Board Community

    In order to comply with recent US Supreme Court rulings regarding adult content, we will be making changes in the future to require that you log into your account to view adult content on the site.
    If you do not have an account, please register.
    REGISTER HERE - 100% FREE / We Will Never Sell Your Info

    PLEASE READ: To register, turn off your VPN (iPhone users- disable iCloud); you can re-enable the VPN after registration. You must maintain an active email address on your account: disposable email addresses cannot be used to register.

  • The Support & Advice forum is a no-flame zone.
    The members offering support and advice do so with the best intention. If you ask for advice, we don't require you to take the advice, but we do ask that you listen and give it consideration.

boy trouble.. please help :\

Runner1

Runner1

Virgin
Joined
Nov 22, 2006
Posts
26
Reaction score
0
Points
0
Hey guys, it's been a while since i last posted.. i'm 20 now! and i'm out to my entire family! but i have quite the predicament on my hands... and it's about time i came back for some sound advice!

I met this really sweet guy at school in Colorado who has virtually everything i look for in a guy, and I wasn't sure if he was gay or not. Long story short-- within a few months of us getting to know each other, he eventally came out to me exclusively and told me that he likes me. But, much to my dismay, he said that although he's attracted to guys and that he has feelings for me, he won't allow himself to let anything happen between us... which i know is because he's still in that denial stage that many of us once experienced. Later in the conversation though he said he'd like to see what happens... bahhh!

So my questions for everyone: does this seem like a lost cause? Am I setting myself up for heartbreak? Should I just try to move on? I reaaally like him, and I don't know if i should stick around or not.. Likewise, I don't want either one of us to be put in an unfair or uncomfortable position. I just don't know..

any advice or similar past experiences or comments would be much appreciated! thanks guys!! :D andd if you need any more information feel free to askk
 
I'd say give him an opportunity. Say you'd be interested in forming a relationship with him, but if he's not wanting anything to happen, that's cool - you'll look elsewhere. And then, make good on that promise.

And welcome to Colorado. :)

Lex
 
I am a bit jaded when it comes to freshly outted fruits. So my advice is really to see it as lost cause in terms of an amorous relationship. I no longer have time nor the patience to deal with anxieties. I know it's unfair since I went through it all myself, but once was enough for me.

However, I do not think you should just drop him out of your life completely. He needs a good FRIEND to listen to him. But I really wouldn't expect too much out of this. Usually as he begins to test his wings, other boys will begin to attract him.
 
Runner1 said:
So my questions for everyone: does this seem like a lost cause? Am I setting myself up for heartbreak? Should I just try to move on? I reaaally like him, and I don't know if i should stick around or not.. Likewise, I don't want either one of us to be put in an unfair or uncomfortable position. I just don't know..
Click to expand...

He's sending a lot of mixed signals. Mostly because he knows what he wants but he's too scared and immature to deal with what he's feeling.

For now, you're better off being friends and being an example to him of how a gay man can be happy and not in the closet.

You're not wasting your time. But for your own peace of mind, be the supportive friend for now. It's much better than trying to be the boyfriend who has to deal with the hurt of dating a guy that is lying to himself and others.

The problem with these, "I like guys but I could never have a relationship with a guy" types is that they are afraid of their feelings. So, the minute they lose control and break their "I could never.." rule, they freak out. Until he's more together and willing to be open to a relationship with a guy- emotionally and physically- you don't want to be one caught up in his confusion.
 
I think he is still confused about what he wants. Just start out as friends and see where it goes. You will probably have to be very patient. I hope it is worth it.
 
"boy trouble.. please help"

i don't think you have any trouble as you both are out. :)
 
sound advice really. Be the 'supportive gay friend'...otherwise, you're likely to get hurt, be the dirty little fuck secret that he uses, and then moves on...either right back into the closet once he blows his load, or right onto the "i'm straight, but i'll sleep with you dude" train, either case, no good. You being the 'normal' gay friend is really your best option here. be supportive, and friendly, and helpful...just don't let the temptation get in the way, and make sure that your'e both treating YOU with respect.

good luck man
*hugs*
 
His explanation sounds fishy to me. It doesn't make a lot of sense.

He might just not be that attracted to you and doesn't want to hurt your feelings. I'd forget about it unless you're willing to be just friends.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top