Boyfriend Aint Cummin

[sd1989]

Have had a bf now for about 2 months hes 26 im 20, done stuff at beginning like head and that, now he never came then buts that's because we stopped after a few hours each time.

Now he's just left and he was fucking me before for about 2 hours, kept nearly cumming then kept stopping and I was nicely, like, you can cum and all that. So carried on and he didn't cum.

I was like lets try it another time, he was getting all kissy and saying he's not cumming because the weed he smokes and that, but I do it too and I can still manage to cum.

Now I know he cums cos when hes by himself cos he does to porn which im fine with, but just wondering if anyone else had anything like this and if its worked out fine??

Just bit worried cos he keeps telling me hes into me and saying he loves me but just knocks my confidence down so yeah like I said, anyway else had this happen?

 

[sixthson]

Maybe he is so used to self-pleasuring that only his hand can get him off. Seriously.

 

[NephilimSin]

Sixthson could be right. It's kinda like a psychological thing, your bf could have gotten used to using his hand and his mind is so use to the fact of jacking to videos that when it comes to real thing it's a bit nullified.

In time, he'll get use to not using porn and getting satisfied by you.

 

[Nomenclature]

OR. . .

He could fuck you while you jerk off until you cum, and then he can pull out, take off the condom (assuming he's using one) and he can jerk off until he cums. . .or you could stroke/suck him off until he cums.

 

[midnight81]

I agree with sixthson. He probably just got himself too used to cumming with his own hand. As much as I hate Dan Savage, he talks about this as well. The Iron Death Grip. Check out this link - http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid=14968

That's probably what it is.

 

[NineOfClubs]

Maybe he is so used to self-pleasuring that only his hand can get him off. Seriously.

I used to run into so many guys like this.

Sex, for them, was sex with themselves.

They seemed to want another man in the mix, but it totally confused their nervous systems.

 

[sd1989]

Well I hope that's what it is, and if he's nervous about it then best not to mention it I guess.

And was 2 hours but was lots and lots of lube involved!

Thanks for all the feedback, has put my mind at ease a bit more.

 

[morboso]

That is my problem as well n I totally understand you!! but like some of the member said already is because he so use to play with himself! and not because he doesnt love you or isnt into you!!.. and i know for fact because that also happens to me. My partner and i could be having sex for hrs! but some times i just dont find or dont feel the need to cum.
I know i love my guy!!

 

[sniper90]

He needs porn rehab! He is so use to jacking off to the porn he exactly wants (e.g. he can skip right to the creampie part) so acutally doing it just doesn't work well.
He should cut down on porn for perhaps weeks and stop jacking off. Eventually, he'll have to pop when sexing you

 

[latinheat]

i would say maybe he's over thinking it.....has he ever looked mad or disappointed that he hasn't finished? maybe he doesn't want to.....can you tell us how he acts?

 

[CtBoyWonder]

I assume that it's perfectly acceptable to jerk yourself off during sex. Lots of
gay porn the guys do that. So I would think it's ok. I actually do that myself.
In fact I had to give my boss that lesson today. Verbally, not literally He
actually tells me he has never jerked off before. "liar"

 

[boyboycurious]

I actually have this problem of not being able to cum easily too. Last night I stayed over at a guy's place and we had sex like 3 times during the night , but I can't cum at all in any of those 3 sessions. There were a couple of times where I was almost close to cumming but then maybe I got too over-thinking it and it went away. I tried to relax as best as I can and let him take charge and I still couldn't.

I'm a little disappointed because the guy was really into me and wanted me to cum. We tried a lot of position and as I said I almost came a few times but couldn't. Even though I didn't came, I enjoyed the sex very much and it didn't hurt me at all.

So:

1. I've been with this guy before, so it's definitely not the case of you have to be someone you know/care/love
2. I have cummed in different positions before (although some position is better for me) so i don't think it's the 'looking-for-the-right-position' issue
3. I've cummed before when I had sex with this guy previously

So my question is i guess...is it really best for me to lay off the porn?
I do admit I do watch it a lot from time to time and I have no problem getting myself off with porn at all.

Please help

 

[kayman23]

Hmmm... I think that maybe my issue since I rarely if ever ejaculates from being fucked, but can easily do if I masturbate. However, the guy I've been seeing understands that and knows that I've very much into him because we've been going strong for nearly 6 months now...

 

[crubbed]

After reading this thread I can finally understand my situation.

I'm 23 and I've been masturbating almost daily since 2001. My first sexual encounter happened back in January.

I find that I can't keep an erection (nor can I cum, obviously). There are two reasons:
A) I'm very used to jerking off. In fact, my cock gets hard as long as I keep it in my pants. The feeling of my penis pushing against my pants arouses me a lot. But the moment I take my pants off all of the excitement is gone and I have trouble keeping the hard on.

Plus, when I jerk off, I'm really good at cumming real fast (I learnt that back when I lived with my parents, and I had little to no private time to jerk off).

B) I'm very anxious, and when I'm with a guy I can't enjoy the moment for what it is and I think about the long-term consequences (you know... what is going to happen after this? Does he really like it or is he going to mock me with his friends? Does he hate the fact that I'm not hung? Does he have an STD??? etc)

So according to your advice I should stop jerking off, and I agree with that. But I also have a problem with the top of my penis: it hurts when I pull the skin. I read that there's a process called keratilization (sp?) which removes the sensitivity, but it still has to kick in for me. So I should probably jerk off more often and pull the skin so that my cock gets used to be 'out in the open'. When my foreskin is pulled, and the top of my cock touches something then it hurts and it turns me off (hence - no erection)

What should I do?

 

[sd1989]

Well its been a while now since this.

We are both of the drugs.

Weve moved into a nicer place. He always had anxiety of other people hearing.

Hes on prescribed pills for his anxiety.

And now sex is great. He's lost interest in porn, I'm guessing cos now he can cum up me he don't care for his hand. And has made my confidence better.

Crubbed, anxiety is a really annoying thing to have but its not you're fault. Id see a doctor about it as it can be managed. I think the worry about not being hung is all just anxiety, as my bf is not hung and I really enjoy him fucking me. Hes now cums in a few minutes as well so if you want to cum really quick you can, cos I still feel happy once hes cum. So relax about the time it takes.

Also if it hurts see a doctor, I don't have a large penis and it can seem intimidating but the amount of cocks i've seen on the internet, you will not have the smallest one the doctor has seen, so be proud of it!

Having just one of those problems is going to make you worry about sex, so if you can at least get rid of one its a load of you're mind!

 

[LuvBoys]

Well, my ex had the same problem. He had a hard time cumming while fucking me, it took a lot of concentration and he had to be in the mood. He had some sexual abuse in the past though I don't know exactly what kind, but his was a mental issue. He could cum masturbating, but I only saw him cum one time the entire 5 months we were together. He had real issues with letting anyone actually see him cum.

 

[JeffnLA]

For some of us cumming isn't always necessary. From someone who doesn't cum all the time with my partner, it doesn't mean I'm not enjoying it or not into him. It takes me longer and I seem to have more intense orgasms after a couple of encounters