Boyfriend could be cheating? Advice needed

[yeeeaaahhh]

So, a lot of really really suspicious things have happened today and I am really concerned. It all started this morning when Kyle got a text from some number which Kyle "didn't recognize" that was a heart. Umm... okay.
Then, Kyle called me on his break, and we talked for like 5 minutes. And then he was like, I have to go. And I was like "What, we just started talking. You have to go back to work already" and he was like "Yeah, it took me a really long time to walk to my car today. I don't know why".

What do you guys think... am I being crazy? Or does it sound like something could be going on?

 

[racer2438]

What age are we talking here???

 

[spearsfan20]

I think you should do your own private investigating to find out what's going on with your boyfriend. If he is a such in a quick hurry to leave a second or five seconds after he speaks to you over the phone, then that is when things become suspicious with him.

Like I said if I were you I would keep track on his every move. If you notice any text messages on his cell phone coming from a different guy or if you see him out with a guy that you don't know nothing about then you need to confront him. That "heart" on his cell phone is a good possibility that he is falling for another guy but he wants to cover up anything to keep leading you on and keep your trust in him. His phony excuse was not worth it, believe me.

Keep your eyes open and keep us updated.

 

[frankfrank]

"Yeah, it took me a really long time to walk to my car today. I don't know why"

I hate to say it, but Kyle's comment is definitely tripping my bullshit detector.

I hope that you're able to have a heart-to-heart talk and that he opens up in the process. I won't say it's entirely likely all of this will happen, but if something sinister is going on, it's better to find out sooner than later.

I don't know your situation well enough, to know whether it would be a problem confronting him about the texting - oh I guess you did, he "didn't recognize" the number. Um...

 

[twardmo]

i hate to b the voice of reason, but ummm... yeah.... he probably is

 

[cocktales]

"IF" you think somethings "a-miss", then there probably is something goin on....

YOU know your man better than anyone and know his habits, etc.....

Has he become defensive "yet"?

I think you should let him know right-up-front that "homey-don't-play-thataway"!!!

Communication is definitely the BEST key to getting down to the bottom of things...

How's the sex? Any, I'm too tired, I can't make it right now..........etc, etc????

Some guys have open-relationships; but if you're NOT into that and you both agreed on having a mono-relationship, you "best" get to the bottom of it "asap".....

You love him and willing to allow a bad decision/discression? If he's worth it, there's always forgive/forget...........don't let that happen ever, ever again!!! Can you do it?

Now, quit worrying and have a sit down pow-wow about what's going on....

One more thing..........You're NOT a super-jealous guy are you and have a tendency to jump to conclusions??? I hope NOT....

Good luck and treat this situation fast and with open communication on both of your parts...

"Love is worth it all.........after-all"!

 

[french]

Ask him first. then, check out his cell phone bill and look at his calling/text record to see.

At the same time though, it is really early to determine.. I mean two little incidents is not enough to really derive a conclusion.

But, at the same time, when he said "it took a while to walk to the car, I don't know why", that sounds fishy. So, at least ask why it took longer, lol.

I would not freak out about it yet, because like I said, these two incidents are not really sufficient for a conclusion to be derived.

 

[CSI_3Stokes]

If he is cheating on you, then you cheat on him. Or you could have a 3 way.

 

[CSI_3Stokes]

Thank you. It's what I would do. Not that that would ever happen like.

 

[alley]

The text may or may not mean anything--I once got one that said, "Hey u r hot", during the middle of dinner at a resturant with my wife. I had never cheated and knew that so I had had no problem when she picked up my phone and called the number back, "She asked them "why are you texting my husband" lololol---some guy had tried to send it to his girlfriend and got the number wrong

 

[G-Lexington]

The text means nothing, as far as I'm concerned.

The "long walk to the car"? What the hell?

Lex

 

[Puzuzzu]

maybe the wind caused too much drag, it slowed him down.

 

[EvilForce]

So, a lot of really really suspicious things have happened today and I am really concerned. It all started this morning when Kyle got a text from some number which Kyle "didn't recognize" that was a heart. Umm... okay.
Then, Kyle called me on his break, and we talked for like 5 minutes. And then he was like, I have to go. And I was like "What, we just started talking. You have to go back to work already" and he was like "Yeah, it took me a really long time to walk to my car today. I don't know why".

What do you guys think... am I being crazy? Or does it sound like something could be going on?

Not enough info to make a call one way or the other.

If this truly is the only thing/s that have happened, I'd say you're being insane & possessive. However, if you have left out a few other indicators, then I'd might be able to understand and comment more.

 

[Ontariobear]

Has he given you reason to question him in the past? If he has, keep your eyes and ears open, if he hasn't then I don't see the issue.

 

[yeeeaaahhh]

Well, here is what happened...
I went to go visit him at work and caught him as he was walking to his car. Yes, he went straight from work to his car... no stops on the way to mess around with other guys... so that made me feel a bit better.
On the way home, I was "looking at pictures." Meaning I was scrolling through his phonebook trying to see if the number was in there. And sure enough, it was. One of his friends who is gay, and used to have a thing for him. So, when we got home I talked to him about it. I was like "You lied to me... you know who that text was from" and he said "Yeah..." and I asked him why he lied to me, and kinda freaked out. Threw his phone at him and said "You need to decide if you want to date me or him before I invest any more in you" so then I go up to my room and text his friend with my phone (I memorized the number) and said "Have you and Kyle been messing around?" and he called me back and we talked for a while. And then I went and told Kyle to come up and we talked about things for like an hour. And I really though about breaking up with him... but I didn't. I mean, him and his friend don't have anything going on. His friend is just like that. He sends hearts out. I've met him and he kinda seemed like that anyway. I didn't care about the heart as much as I cared that Kyle lied about it, you know? So, I told Kyle that if he ever lied again it would be over. And yeah, everything is okay.

And BTW, the sex is great... we actually had make up sex for like two hours last night, haha. Yaay!!

 

[EvilForce]

Well, here is what happened...
I went to go visit him at work and caught him as he was walking to his car. Yes, he went straight from work to his car... no stops on the way to mess around with other guys... so that made me feel a bit better.
On the way home, I was "looking at pictures." Meaning I was scrolling through his phonebook trying to see if the number was in there. And sure enough, it was. One of his friends who is gay, and used to have a thing for him. So, when we got home I talked to him about it. I was like "You lied to me... you know who that text was from" and he said "Yeah..." and I asked him why he lied to me, and kinda freaked out. Threw his phone at him and said "You need to decide if you want to date me or him before I invest any more in you" so then I go up to my room and text his friend with my phone (I memorized the number) and said "Have you and Kyle been messing around?" and he called me back and we talked for a while. And then I went and told Kyle to come up and we talked about things for like an hour. And I really though about breaking up with him... but I didn't. I mean, him and his friend don't have anything going on. His friend is just like that. He sends hearts out. I've met him and he kinda seemed like that anyway. I didn't care about the heart as much as I cared that Kyle lied about it, you know? So, I told Kyle that if he ever lied again it would be over. And yeah, everything is okay.

And BTW, the sex is great... we actually had make up sex for like two hours last night, haha. Yaay!!

Wow, he should dump you immediately after that childish stunt you pulled.

Cheaters themselves are almost always the ones constantly obsessing over whether their mate is cheating. Your reaction was not sane, nor rational.

 

[french]

Wow, he should dump you immediately after that childish stunt you pulled.

Cheaters themselves are almost always the ones constantly obsessing over whether their mate is cheating. Your reaction was not sane, nor rational.

Dude, people over react because they are scared. People want to make sure that their love is mutual and preserved.

I agree it was a little extreme but I do not blame him, because he was really worried and that was his initial reaction.

 

[drhladnjak]

Pretty much the fastest way to destroy your relationship is to start snooping around in his cell phone, email or otherwise watching his every move. That kind of behavior does not engender trust and can poison the relationship.

That said, maybe he is cheating on you. You could ask about it or just wait and see if there are more signals.

You're damned if you, damned if you don't.

 

[yeeeaaahhh]

Wow, he should dump you immediately after that childish stunt you pulled.

Cheaters themselves are almost always the ones constantly obsessing over whether their mate is cheating. Your reaction was not sane, nor rational.

Well, you know, I lived through my dad cheating on my mom.
I know what it's like for my dad to say "I'm going to the store. Be right back" and then him be gone for three hours while my mom is in the kitchen crying.
Yeah, maybe I'm a little irrational, but you have no idea what that feels like.
Thanks for making me feel like a bad person.

 

[EvilForce]

Well, you know, I lived through my dad cheating on my mom.
I know what it's like for my dad to say "I'm going to the store. Be right back" and then him be gone for three hours while my mom is in the kitchen crying.
Yeah, maybe I'm a little irrational, but you have no idea what that feels like.
Thanks for making me feel like a bad person.

You are not your mother. Your boyfriend is not your father. If you bring this kind of "baggage" into each of your relationships, you are going to have serious problems.

Throwing phones at someone, secretly following someone, and calling their ex's when you feel "justified" is just plain wrong. Given your reaction, I certainly understand why he lied to you. He probably didn't want to deal with the histrionics he knew would be displayed, so told you a white lie.

Jealousy is neither a good emotion, nor a bad one. However, it is what you do with jealousy that will determine whether it is healthy or not. Remember your insecurity is not his problem to solve, it is your own.