Boyfriend has feelings for someone else

[QuinnRider]

I would dump his cheating ass. I would call my boyfriend sleeping in the same bed, cuddling with anyone he is attracted to cheating. Getting naked on cam- cheating. What makes you think they didn't fuck, if they do it virtually? Hard situation.

 

[KaraBulut]

It depends on what the terms are in your relationship. If you're one who believes in monogamy and expect your boyfriend to be faithful, then he's violated the terms of the relationship.

There's a lower risk- the guy doesn't sound like he's within close enough proximity to be a real threat. But anything or anyone that provides an outside interest to your boyfriend is something that can undermine your relationship.

Have that talk with him. Lay out how you feel and what you want. But don't expect him to make a "It's me or him" choice- that's a choice that you may have to make, though.

 

[future_retro]

Just because he says he "really likes you the same way" doesn't mean he does. Maybe you're the back-up plan. Or the bf of convenience/circumstance because you're in the same locale/country, whereas the other one is far away.

Put it this way: if this other guy was living in the same town as you and your bf, what do you think would happen?

 

[sixthson]

Your bf has a divided heart. That is a dangerous and uncertain thing for you. I would be very careful about how hard you fall for him.

I wish you the best.

 

[rjmrjm21]

You don't have anything to lose. Just tell him he can't see the other guy anymore and if he does, you will end it. There will be your truth. Good luck.

 

[Seasoned]

There are people who are so afraid od being alone that they constantly juggle multiple people. I wouldn't commit to him without a lot of couples counseling. The trouble with dropping every hot potato is that most of us are hot potatoes until we work on our issues. Never take what I just wrote as an excuse to be abused, but when words don't match actions you may have a partner willing to clean up his act. At the same time, if you keep finding people incapable of full commitment to you, you will need some self help to figure out that attraction.

There are no perfect people. There are people who think they are--run like hell from them and there are people who will admit they're flawed, but unwilling to change, and there are the flawed who appreciate, eventually, being called out.

Expect to work at relationships, but expect to have that work be more about you than him. The only worse than being a doormat is enjoying it.

It's ok to run; it's also ok to confront. Even if a partner is 100% honest, if you find behavior unacceptable, it is unacceptable. Your life is about your happiness. Good luck.

 

[LoveIsNow]

So, your screen name sounded familiar so I looked at the threads you had made. Let's review. Your boyfriend:

A)Has decided he ultimately wants to spend his life with a woman, rather than a man,

B)Says he can't see himself being with you for more than a few years, even though you want more,

C)Wants to have a threesome after dating you for two months, and

D)Has intense feelings for his friend in another country.

This is not a healthy relationship and won't shape up to be one any time soon, so

Get out!

Run!

Abort!

Dump the bitch!

Save yourself before it gets any worse (which it will).

 

[altlover85]

So, your screen name sounded familiar so I looked at the threads you had made. Let's review. Your boyfriend:

A)Has decided he ultimately wants to spend his life with a woman, rather than a man,

B)Says he can't see himself being with you for more than a few years, even though you want more,

C)Wants to have a threesome after dating you for two months, and

D)Has intense feelings for his friend in another country.

This is not a healthy relationship and won't shape up to be one any time soon, so

Get out!

Run!

Abort!

Dump the bitch!

Save yourself before it gets any worse (which it will).

I was going to say something similar. Thanks for saying it for me.

To add, to this why are you event thinking about moving to London together after 2 months after all these issues?

Are you planning on living together, because I honestly think that would be a horrible idea.

Good luck and I hope you can see the negatives that I (and others) see in your relationship so that you can get out before you get any more hurt.

You deserve better than this.

 

[looseliam]

I echo what's been said above.

As for my own words, here they go:

Shame on you! I would never let my boyfriend share the bed with another man. What were you thinking? What was your reasoning behind not throwing a fit? Why are you still with him??

Stop being a Pollyanna and cut the ties and move along.

 

[chance1]

Lots going on with this bf - far too much IMO

Can't imagine this ending well

You know what u need to do