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boyfriend is moving in

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pseudorealist

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My boyfriend is moving in with me in about 2 weeks. I am 21 and he is 23 and we have been dating for about 4 months now. He lives about 1.5 hours away and we only see each other on the weekends but he spends basically monday through friday with me and we sleep in the same bed every night, have sex 2-3 times a day, and spend all of that time together. i am a little nervous about him moving in. i love him and really want him to move in and he also wants this but there is something in the back of my head making me worry that something will happen. any advice on us moving in together? is it too soon? thanks in advance for the advice!
 
My partner and I were together for only 4 months before we lived together as well. We shared with two girls though, so a bit different. That arrangement lasted 6 months, but didn't end on bad terms. Just over a year later and now we have a house together.

Advice? Be open to compromise. Yes, you already spend a lot of time together, but living together is different. Be sure to accommodate the way he lives and hopefully he's sensitive enough to do the same.

As soon as you have a problem, bring it up. Be calm, logical, rational. Just state your case and explain what he can do to fix it. Then talk through a solution. It's tempting to just keep quiet about any problems you have, but that just breeds resentment and will ultimately hurt the situation. I attribute this sort of open communication to be the reason my partner and I are still together. We rarely fight about anything and have gotten into a good routine of just discussing any issues we have with each other.

Money can be a problem. As my partner and I bought a house together, we discussed money at great length and finally came to the conclusion that all money we earn is house money: we take an identical chunk each for ourselves, and the rest is bills, house, food, etc. This arrangement may not work for you two, but you really need to discuss how much financial responsibility is placed on each of you. You don't want to feel exploited by paying for everything just because it was your place first, and he shouldn't feel like he's suddenly supporting a household: you need a happy medium, and a written plan to make sure neither of you is paying too much, nor losing money in the long run.

If I think of anything else, I'll write back. This is a very exciting time for you! Focus on the positives and try to anticipate any problems before they arise.
 
As stated above, comprimise will be key. Have a talk about what you each expect out of this and who is doing what in the house.

Who is paying bills, food, cleaning, cooking, dishes, clothes and so on.

make sure everything is clear and up front. Then enjoy your time together and make it a home that represents the both of you not one sided. Compremise...
 
racer2438 said:
As stated above, comprimise will be key. Have a talk about what you each expect out of this and who is doing what in the house.

Who is paying bills, food, cleaning, cooking, dishes, clothes and so on.

make sure everything is clear and up front. Then enjoy your time together and make it a home that represents the both of you not one sided. Compremise...
Click to expand...

A thousand times this. I'm a bit OCD which my BF accepts so planning all the nonsensical stuff out like rent and household chores was easy for me and he trusted me to do so when I moved into his place this past month. If your BF doesn't want to sit down and put on his "big boy pants", your relationship will falter when he moves in as you didn't plan it out and relied on "love" to get it through. As much as I wish I could, you can't pay the bills with "love".
 
Something always happens so enjoy the ride. It will work or not but that's the best part of life, being available for the next adventure. I didn't quite understand your situation of only being together on weekends, yet spending M-F in bed together.

Can you both contribute to expenses and have you had that talk? Cooking, shopping and cleaning are other issues to be discussed. Are you compatible with personal habits such as picking up after yourselves? Some things need discussion and some things will be worked out on the fly, but do check in regularly to see how things are working out.

Enjoy this nesting period. Have fun because it is exciting.
 
I meant Friday through Monday in bed! Oops. I guess my subconscious desires are coming out through my text. Thanks for the advice everyone! I am seeing my boyfriend this weekend and he is bringing more of things! I'll let you know how the first weeks go!
 
Moving in is HUGE to me . My current bf suggested doing it 2 weeks ago . Frankly, the whole thing freaks me out!
 
Why are you worried? You must not really love him. You are closer to your fuck mate. Even if the both of you do break up, you still have someone to share the rent with. lol.
 
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