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Boyfriend not attracted to me sexually

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Aussie_Matt

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Sorry to bore you all with this but i dont know where else to turn for advice.

My Boyfriend of 14 months has told me that he isnt attracted to me sexually right now. That our sex has become boring. I have to agree, altho im still very attracted to him, the sex is getting worse and worse latley. We live together and have no problem with love. We both have no doubt about our love for each other. We have lived together for close to one year. Its the longest relationship for each of us so we have never had this problem before. he is 23 , i am 30
We have decided to take a break from sex ( at his request), he says that should get him going again. I hope so because this is really geting me down.

Any advice would be great to hear. I cant be the only one with this problem..
Thanx so much in advance guys. I read this site so often,, but rarely post.
 
Is it that he has no interest in sex at all?
 
That's normal for a long-term relationship, although it usually takes a couple of years before it reaches to the stage you guys are in. Have you guys considered something like sex toys or threesomes to spice up your sex life?
 
Yes, that is absolutely normal. Sex does get boring after the same "things" happened over and over again. Too little sex and he'll complain, but too much too constant will bore him. His solution is the best. Take a break from it all.

Guaranteed, after a week of no sex... he'll be all horny again.

Don't think too much. Unless there are other signs that leads you to a conclusion he's no longer interested in you, which I hope not, you shouldn't worry too much.

As you have said it yourself and the sex is getting boring lately.

Either take a break or do something different to spice it up.
 
Maybe you can suggest doing something different? Does he like porn? Have him watch some favorite porn while you jerk or suck him off.

Lex
 
I disagree with those who say it is normal.

I have always believed that when a couple is having trouble in the bedroom, there is usually a problem somewhere else in the relationship causing the problem, and lack of interest in sex is merely the symptom.

I wouldn't put all your focus on the sex, but examine your relationship in all it's facets. Are you in the same place in your lives? Is the age difference (which is not great) an issue? Is he as serious about settling down as you? Are you spending enough time together outside the bedroom? Are you communicating with each other? Is your level of respect for each other what it should be? Are you boring each other? Is porn an issue? There are many things other than just sex that could be the problem. The first step is honest and open communication and don't just assume your problem is sexual attraction or lack of it.

Good luck.
 
Gee thanx guys, That made me feel better, I was upset about it all and then at 5am this morning we were awake and had some hot sex wich he engaged. We prolly are in different places in our lives when i think about it. He has also had a break from work and watches alot of porn during the day i think. He will be back at work soon and i think all will be good.. im just glad he was honest and told me how he felt..
At the end of he day ,, we are very close and in love,, thats all that matters to me.. thanx again
 
I dont thinks it's normal either, If it is boring then it's boring. You need to reinvent the things that got you together, think of things that would be erotic to do , different places,ect ect.

My bf and I have been together for 24-1/2 yrs now and our sex life is more exciting now than before. We always look for ways to try new things and keep it spiced up.

Take a break and while on that break think real hard how you are going to reingnite the sex, come up with plans.
 
Aussie_Matt said:
My Boyfriend of 14 months has told me that he isnt attracted to me sexually right now. That our sex has become boring. I have to agree, altho im still very attracted to him, the sex is getting worse and worse latley. We live together and have no problem with love. We both have no doubt about our love for each other. We have lived together for close to one year.
Click to expand...

Did you guys move in right away?

I often notice that some or most couple smove in together way to early in the relationship. It's an exciting thing to move in with the person you love but you have no idea what kind of living partner you're ending up with. That's why I advise every couple to first live seperately and leave each other space, but still stay over at each other's place just to make sure you are capable of sharing the same apartment/house.

The thing about seperate places is that it also makes the coming back together much more exciting.
 
Aussie_Matt said:
Gee thanx guys, That made me feel better, I was upset about it all and then at 5am this morning we were awake and had some hot sex wich he engaged. We prolly are in different places in our lives when i think about it. He has also had a break from work and watches alot of porn during the day i think. He will be back at work soon and i think all will be good.. im just glad he was honest and told me how he felt..
At the end of he day ,, we are very close and in love,, thats all that matters to me.. thanx again
Click to expand...

Hopefully it's all better now.

But we'll see.
 
I in a similar situation though my bf would never be so direct as to actually tell me that he wasn't attracted to me which is actually worse.
 
Usually when someone says "I'm bored," they really should have said "I'm boring."

Assuming you didn't kidnap him, he was smart enough to figure out you were attractive to him back when you met. So that isn't the problem. He needs to figure out some fun stuff to do with you. He needs to inspire something new for both of you. It's great if you do that too. But its a bit shitty if he says he's not attracted any more because that makes it seem like your responsibility, or even your fault.
 
I don't think that it's a matter of time. It's a matter of communication. Guys who have been together forever may not necessarily have the secret. Couples sometimes stay together for convenience sake when all else fails.
 
On the other hand, if things do not change soon you should consider another arrangement. An open relationship, for instance.
 
Benvolio said:
On the other hand, if things do not change soon you should consider another arrangement. An open relationship, for instance.
Click to expand...

I agree. It's too early in their relationship and I can't imagine a 23 year old not wanting a lot of sex and not always thinking about it. I suggest you not sign another lease and go month to month and slowly start to buy moving boxes. If this was a five year plus relationship my advice would be so different.
 
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