I met this guy in August, in Spain, and we have a long distance relationship since he lives there. I visited him in October and I'm going back there in a few days. He'll come visit me as soon as he has the money.
Back when we started being something in August, we had sex only once -- on my last day in Spain. I was quite inexperienced (and still am, to some extent), whereas he seems to know what he's doing. I had sex only twice before, and always bottomed. I wanted to try to top, just to see what it feels like, but since time was running out I decided to bottom with this guy (Ed) again, and let him be the top. (it was my understanding he was a top, or at least versatile)
The sex wasn't that great, since we were at his apartment, and he felt uncomfortable, since his female flatmates were there (in the other room of course), up to the point that he could not even get it up.
Now fast-forward to late October. I go visit him again, after not seeing him for 2 months. We stay at his friend's place. And he turns into a hot stallion. I never had such amazing sex. I loved how he fucked me raw, that was just great. I even decided to give head for the first time in my life, and I enjoyed it, 'cause I love the guy and his whole body turns me on. I don't know how that might have changed his view of me. But anyway, for the first time in my life I actually enjoyed bottoming. I enojyed asking him to slow down and feel him fuck me even harder. But I didn't explicitly tell him. I don't want him to think that I'm some kind of masochist. I mean, I think that what matters is that he treats me with kindness in real life... And then it's no big deal if he gets a little raw in bed, I like it.
The reason I'm writing this post is this: I kinda feel he's not as into my body as I am into mine. When we make love, he's quite selfish. I'm always all over him, licking his nipples, sucking his cock, doing anything. And he litterally stands there. He knows more than well that I flove it when he kisses my neck passionately. He saw it and I repeatedly told him. But he doesn't do that. He barely kisses my neck for a few seconds and that's it.
He doesn't even put his hand on my cock to jerk me off. His favorite position is the one where I'm laying on the bed, and he can only see my back-- that really turns him on. But then again, he doesn't see me, he doesn't touch me if not for the penis/butthole part. There was one time where he asked me to keep my clothes on, which coulda been just a fantasy, but you know... it's weird.
I talked to him about it, and he acknowledges being selfish in bed, and said he was sorry, but he did nothing about it. For once I'd love to be the centre of the attention. I mean, I don't expect him to give me a blowjob, 'cause I know he doesn't like it, but still...
And then, the topping part. He knows I want to try it, but he never mentions it. And I hate it, I think it's unfair. To be honest, I'm increasingly liking bottoming, and seeing myself as a bottom, and the idea of topping makes me nervous (because my penis head is still quite sensitive, and I'm worried I couldn't keep the erection and stuff). But he doesn't know about these developments. The last time he checked, I wanted to try, but still he'd much rather not talk about it. I brought up the subject once, but he swiftly changed subject.
(on a personal note, I do recognize that the issue of topping is quite personal. Ever since I was a kid, my father and my brother treated me as if I was never up for their manly stuff. They never let me drive the car, or do the manly things. They cut my balls, so to speak. So I see topping as the ultimate man thing. That's why it's so important for me. I know, it's stupid, and I have to get past it...)
So, is there something I'm doing wrong? Should I stop focusing on him so much? Is there a chance that he's not really into my body? How should I interpret his behaviour?
Back when we started being something in August, we had sex only once -- on my last day in Spain. I was quite inexperienced (and still am, to some extent), whereas he seems to know what he's doing. I had sex only twice before, and always bottomed. I wanted to try to top, just to see what it feels like, but since time was running out I decided to bottom with this guy (Ed) again, and let him be the top. (it was my understanding he was a top, or at least versatile)
The sex wasn't that great, since we were at his apartment, and he felt uncomfortable, since his female flatmates were there (in the other room of course), up to the point that he could not even get it up.
Now fast-forward to late October. I go visit him again, after not seeing him for 2 months. We stay at his friend's place. And he turns into a hot stallion. I never had such amazing sex. I loved how he fucked me raw, that was just great. I even decided to give head for the first time in my life, and I enjoyed it, 'cause I love the guy and his whole body turns me on. I don't know how that might have changed his view of me. But anyway, for the first time in my life I actually enjoyed bottoming. I enojyed asking him to slow down and feel him fuck me even harder. But I didn't explicitly tell him. I don't want him to think that I'm some kind of masochist. I mean, I think that what matters is that he treats me with kindness in real life... And then it's no big deal if he gets a little raw in bed, I like it.
The reason I'm writing this post is this: I kinda feel he's not as into my body as I am into mine. When we make love, he's quite selfish. I'm always all over him, licking his nipples, sucking his cock, doing anything. And he litterally stands there. He knows more than well that I flove it when he kisses my neck passionately. He saw it and I repeatedly told him. But he doesn't do that. He barely kisses my neck for a few seconds and that's it.
He doesn't even put his hand on my cock to jerk me off. His favorite position is the one where I'm laying on the bed, and he can only see my back-- that really turns him on. But then again, he doesn't see me, he doesn't touch me if not for the penis/butthole part. There was one time where he asked me to keep my clothes on, which coulda been just a fantasy, but you know... it's weird.
I talked to him about it, and he acknowledges being selfish in bed, and said he was sorry, but he did nothing about it. For once I'd love to be the centre of the attention. I mean, I don't expect him to give me a blowjob, 'cause I know he doesn't like it, but still...
And then, the topping part. He knows I want to try it, but he never mentions it. And I hate it, I think it's unfair. To be honest, I'm increasingly liking bottoming, and seeing myself as a bottom, and the idea of topping makes me nervous (because my penis head is still quite sensitive, and I'm worried I couldn't keep the erection and stuff). But he doesn't know about these developments. The last time he checked, I wanted to try, but still he'd much rather not talk about it. I brought up the subject once, but he swiftly changed subject.
(on a personal note, I do recognize that the issue of topping is quite personal. Ever since I was a kid, my father and my brother treated me as if I was never up for their manly stuff. They never let me drive the car, or do the manly things. They cut my balls, so to speak. So I see topping as the ultimate man thing. That's why it's so important for me. I know, it's stupid, and I have to get past it...)
So, is there something I'm doing wrong? Should I stop focusing on him so much? Is there a chance that he's not really into my body? How should I interpret his behaviour?
](/images/smilies/bang.gif "Brick wall ](*,)")
There are plenty of threads on "How do I have sex with my straight friend?", "Advice needed: I want to suck my straight buddy's cock", "Is it a good idea to get my straight mate drunk first so I could blow him?"
