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Boyfriend problems

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NYClover54

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So my BF and I had an argument yesterday over something stupid but it turned into something ugly. So today and yesterday we basically haven't been the happiest couple. I live in an apartment across from our college and he made buddy buddies with my dorm mate and sometimes I think he just comes up for them. Just now I opened the door for him he just said hi very discreetly and asked one of them to go to a hockey game. He didn't ask me and I asked why and he said because he doesn't want to see/be with me right now over what happened yesterday. So they left. I don't know what to feel right now. Someone help me !!!!
 
Your argument over something stupid was stupid. Most arguments are. Now you are compounding the stupidity by how you handle it. Giving each other the cold shoulder only makes things worse. Communication is the answer, but before you talk to him, forgive him ahead of time. If he is going to act like a child, now might not be the best time to point that out, however.
Do you love him? "I love you and I'm sorry" is probably the best start. Once you have this silliness resolved, be sure to learn a lesson from it. Relationships are worth working at.

If it's any comfort, all of us who are in relationships, have been there. We laugh about it later. Good luck.
 
I told him that I was wrong and it was stupid and all he says is that I didn't change. I told him that we will have arguments from time to time but he doesn't listen.
 
NYClover54 said:
I told him that I was wrong and it was stupid and all he says is that I didn't change. I told him that we will have arguments from time to time but he doesn't listen.
Click to expand...

Yes, all couples have arguments. And it's good that you apologized. But wasn't just an argument, it was a probably the latest in a long line of fights that have just worn him out.

Your boyfriend is entitled to have friendships that don't include you. The issue in your case is that you didn't have an argument as much as you went off on him because of your jealousy and insecurity. Unless you're willing to make a long-term commitment to working on some of your issues, it doesn't bode well for the long-term survival of the relationship.
 
All couples have silly arguements that spin out of control. You tried to apologize, but depending on what you said to each other, there may be a lot of hurt there, and it was just too soon to try to approach each other. Give him a little space and time, then reach out to him again. Be conciliatory, and do more listening than talking to start. If he's any kind of a man, he'll calm down and reciprocate.

Good luck.
 
You made your condolences and it seems he is choosing to not accept them. I say dump him.

Even if it was a friend, if they chose to not accept my apology, I would cease being their friend.
 
Welcome to the forum.

Your bf is being a child and there's nothing you can do about it. He's punishing you which is not the role of a bf in a healthy relationship. These petty arguments we get into with loved ones are rarely about the issue at hand. There's a cesspool of underlying resentments that we may not even be fully aware of.

I'd print out or find a book on the topic of fair fighting. When things calm down between the two of you bring up the topic and get him to committ to fair fighting. Then, the next time the petty shit threatens to sabotage the relationship one of you will need to put on big boy pants and ask what is the real issue.

None of this is a put down. My husband and I have been the queens of this problem. With hard work, vigilance and couple's counseling we generally handle ourselves as adults.

I wish you guys good luck.
 
Things just got bad. He left me a 4 page paper about all the things he hates that I do. He says that he won't be around for a while and that he still cares very much for me. He went back to NY and we have a week left of school before thanksgiving so idk if he went back just to avoid me or what. It could very much be that he doesn't show up for school all week.
 
NYClover54 said:
... He says that he won't be around for a while and that he still cares very much for me...
Click to expand...

Things might seem bad, but hone in on that right there. He still cares for you.

I don't know what it is you fought about and it's none of my business, but even if the argument was over something stupid to you, it may not have been stupid to him.

I know it might seem hard, but I would read what he left for you so you know what it is that he hates. And in reading it, try your best not to take offense to it.

The next thing I would do is be patient with him and give him all the time he needs. Don't let this lead into another argument, because I wouldn't be surprised if it would be worse. My honest suggestion: let him know that you're ready to talk when he is, and be sincere about it.

Good luck and I hope everything works out for you and your BF.
 
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