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Boyfriend Still Uses Manhunt

Yours truly

Yours truly

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Hey all. Long story short, I've found out that my boyfriend of almost 2 years is still logging onto Manhunt. I seriously doubt that he is hooking up with guys from Manhunt, and that he's just using it to get off while talking to guys. (He doesn't know that I know all this).

Would this bother you? I mean, yes, he's just engaging in meaningless sex chatter to get off, but it's still intimacy with someone else, in my eyes. And should I address it?

Thanks!
 
My spouse and I have been together for 12 years and he still goes on Manhunt to look at the guys. Big deal. Personally, I don't have a problem with it.

If you know for sure he's not hooking up then what's the problem? Afterall, you're on JustUsBoys looking at hot guys having sex. There not in your town, but if all he's doing is looking and all you're doing is looking it's the same thing in the end.

Unless you think he's getting some on the side, I'd drop it OR try to catch him and ask him about the guy. What's he like about him, maybe blow him while he's looking at the guys. Could be fun.
 
I don't think there's really a problem with it as long as he's not hooking up with anyone. If it makes you feel better than all means discuss it with him. A strong relationship is built on trust and the ability to communicate.

My partner and myself have been together for 13 years and we both "smut" the internet. Looking at other hot guys is normal and rewards us with a healthy sex life. We have discussed it and have a firm policy: Looking is fine...touching is not...unless both of us are together and we make it a 3-some. Don't think that will ever happen.

Life is too short to sweat the small stuff. Take the time to look at hot guys together and see where that leads the two of you. Have fun!!!

:kiss:
 
If it's bothering you, then yeah, I'd say you need to address it.

My basic belief is that if he feels the need to hide it from you - no matter what the hell it is - then he's cheating. That doesn't mean you have to be informed of every single thing he does, or every time he does it, but if he's camming or cybersexing behind your back, then yeah - talk to him about it.

That said, I wouldn't give him any ultimatums. Just let him know you're aware of it, and that you'd rather he spend his fun time with you. And as Jass said, why not ask if you can get involved? See if he'll let you blow him while he looks at other guys, or anything else you might feel comfortable with.

Lex
 
I don't know all the ins and outs of your relationship with him but if your living together as lovers and not just dating long term etc and your both strongly in love then I'd probably wonder a little why he would still need a personal profile ad on a mens hookups site.

I'm no prude and love to look at dirty pics and porn but if i have a committed closed LTR with a guy and hes still logging into dating sites ,id have a talk with him .. coming to this site is totally different then going to manhunt, manhunt is a men 4 men hookup site , this site is a blog ,not a site for personal ads unless you decided you want to create a blog for that. Ive dated too many guys who sneak ,id rather he be open about it and we can have fun with it , not log into dating sites to chat with men about sex and hooking up at all hours.. Kudos to you guys in relationships over 10 years but the OP has only been together for 2 years ,one thing i do wonder is how do you know hes still logging in to the site ? youd have to login yourself to see if hes online right ? something tells me you 2 need to talk.
 
Just for clarification: I have no problem with him looking at pictures. I freuqently watch porn, too. I guess what bothers me is that he is talking to these other guys to get off.

Thanks for the feedback!
 
Looking at porn and getting off and chatting with guys on a hookup site to get off are two different things.

I agree with some of the other comments about taking to him about it. But don't give an ultimatum.

As long as he's not hooking up with anyone....you're okay.

But then how are you checking up on him to see that he's actually on a hook up site. Are you on it too or are you semi invading his privacy by checking his computer history to see what he's doing?
 
J
ust for clarification: I have no problem with him looking at pictures. I freuqently watch porn, too. I guess what bothers me is that he is talking to these other guys to get off.

Thanks for the feedback!
Click to expand...


Hmm, If that is the case then you definitely need to have a serious talk with your partner, All the best to you and good luck.

Hugs
Mike
 
I love to go on craigslist and read the adds and occasionally go on dating sites, too just to peruse. I've done it when I was single and while in a relationship. It takes you into a totally different world with all these guys at your fingertips, and at the end of the day it makes me even more sure that my boyfriend is the man I want to be with. If it bothers you talk to him. How, incidentally did you find out he's going on mamhunt. There's only two ways I can think of and in one case you're a hypocrite and in the other you're a snoop.
 
Well, I hear what's been said above, and I hear what you are saying.

First thing I have to ask is:

How do you know your partner is cruising Manhunt?

Second:

Did he tell you, have you watched him, have you checked your comp's history?

Some people use those sites, as stated above, as a source of affirmation and kinda a source of porn. I'm not so convinced.

There's porn, and there's site's where men meet men. And, on this point, I guess I am being Devil's Advocate. If you are going to cruise jerk off material, do so. There are sites with pure j/o stuff, and sites with mixed stuff (here for example). Then, there are sites that are purely designed for hook-ups (ManHunt).

Let's dismiss the philosophical.

At the end of the day, you need to chat with your bf. Honestly. Its bothering you that he's doing something, so talk to him. Tell him what's bothering you. Communicate.

You have been with this guy for 2 years. Do you wish to continue? Does he? Confirm that. For you, at least.

Get back to us :) We're here.
 
Always the hang up about the sex. I don't care if my partner bangs some random guy, what I would care about is if he got intimate with some other guy.
 
Completely not right! I would hands down say me or manhunt.

There is no need for your boyfriend to be using manhunt. If you're in an open relationship, sure, why not?

but for what purpose would your boyfriend be needing to go on that site for?
if he wants to look at porn well there are plenty of places for that.
 
What your Boyfriend is doing is disrespecting you and the relationship...He's in the wrong big-time...When you're in love with someone you don't go online and say sweet nothings to a stranger just to get off...

Sorry but no one wants to find out their significant other is so Horny they need to talk to someone else to get a quick release...I don't think so...You need to go ahead and talk to him...Some people can walk away from Gay hook-up/Porn sites when they find a partner and some cannot...

One day there will be a HOT local guy that he will connect with...You know him better than we do. Is he strong enough to resist temptation?

I hate to break this to you but the ODDS of your boyfriend being able to walk away from what he's doing is slim to none...You might have to figure out how you can live with it if you Love him. Can you live with it?
 
I would bring it up and let him know how I feel about it. I agree with you that getting off while chatting with other guys is very intimate.
 
And I would disagree that getting your rocks off with a random guy – especially in cyberspace, is intimate at all. Honestly what kind of intimacy can actually exist through pixels? 90 percent of that is fantasy and smoke and mirrors anyway.

If you think this is a problem you need to talk to him not us. We don’t know the rules you play by.
 
>>>I agree with you that getting off while chatting with other guys is very intimate.

It isn't the procedure so much as the "not wanting it known".

Lex
 
Oh, please. Manhunt is a hookup site through and through.

It's only and distinct purpose is to help men find sex and/or dating with other men in their area.

That's it.

If his boyfriend is browsing Manhunt, he has a purpose for browsing Manhunt.

It's pre-cheating at the very least.
 
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