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Boyfriend wants to be topped but...

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sammy1989

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The guy that im currently with wants to be vers but not with me. Since we've been having sex, ive been the bottom. He recently stated that he wants to be vers, but he doest want it from me. He wants to have sex with other guys and be vers with them. He doesnt think Im "manly" enough. I am a bit more submissive. He's a bit taller and bigger than me, but I really wanna please him. I also wanna try being a top with him. Any suggestions on how I can prove him wrong??
 
Hi Sammy and welcome to JUB. :wave:

I'm not sure proving anything to the guy you're dating is the largest issue you're facing. I think a bigger issue is why someone you're dating is wanting to be "versatile" with anyone but you. What is this saying about your relationship, and how are you feeling about that?

More directly to your question, though, the only way to prove yourself is to have him let you top him. What could that hurt? If he's resistant to giving you that chance, then I worry about the viability of the relationship. You could be a terrific lay, and he doesn't even know it because he hasn't spread 'em for you. Have a heart to heart with him and assert yourself and tell him you want to top him. If he refuses, and continues to say he wants to do it with someone else, then I'd have to reconsider how much stock to put into this guy.

Good luck. Let us know what happens. (*8*)
 
IMHO, you are with the wrong fellow. Any guy who tops you ourght at some time to be willing to bottom for you.

Anyone who tells his partner that the partner is not "manly" enough is<IMHO, also suspect as a partner. That is a put down and ought not to come our of any loving partner.

The area of sex is one place where respect for the other is terribly important. Do not settle for less. You want a partner who loves you the way you are. Right?
 
He didnt say I want manly, i guess. He just said he wanted it from a bigger masc guy.
 
Exactly. He said he just doesnt see me doing that. But i am interested. He says he wants someone to "make" him want it. I find it hard to be super agressive without looking foolish. How can I do that??
 
Then you better butch it up. Put him face down on the bed in four point restraints. Pound him deep and hard, preferably without lube. That should prove that you are man enough.
 
Sex can be a lot of things. It shouldn't be a measurement of masculinity and it shouldn't be a battleground.

You haven't given much background about this relationship and how happy you are in it, but if you're having these kinds of discussions, it doesn't bode well for the future.
 
Okay did you sign up for an open relationship or something? Because unless you both wanted that, him talking about all the other guys who could fuck him is pretty much him being a bad boyfriend. And I'm guessing that was not a fun conversation for you.

I think he needs to get fucked, but not in the way you're thinking ;)
 
No, we are together but not actually committed. He wants to sleep with other guys to meet his other needs. I told him, being new at this, there were things id like to try as well and id be willing to try and meet his other needs if he want getting them from me. He told me that he wanted vers in a relationship. I felt great, knowing he wanted something like that because i thought he would give me a chance to do it. he then later laughed it off as a joke. And that he didnt want that from me. He enjoyed having sex with me the way we always do, but if he wants vers in a relationship and im willing to give but he isnt willing to take then what the hell am i doing?? haha! Guess i just answered my own question..
 
I think he is speaking with a forked tongue, forcibly rape him, on the spot , no excuses (suck this bitch, and now I am going to slam it up your fucking arse) and then send him on his way.(see if he walks bow legged)
 
I really don't know what to say- have you ever topped before, or not really? If not, he might think you're not good at it, or at least assume so since you're always the bottom. Next time you guys have sex, you should go for it. I used to be pretty submissive and such too, but if you try to force yourself to take charge, I swear, your self-confidence builds up and it becomes almost natural. But if he still insists that he doesn't want it from you, then you guys need to sit down and talk things through seriously. See if you guys can live with an open relationship, or maybe be friends with benefits or something. This is a really tricky situation, and if your guys' relationship is strong enough, you should be able to discuss this in an open, frank manner.
 
Sounds kinda harsh. Honestly, I think thats what he wants.. haha!

and I agree. I'll take charge. If he insists on not wanting it or he isnt satisfied, then what have a lost?? Someone who didnt care to work through it to begin with.
 
I'd kick his ass right out of my bed and he could go be versatile as much as he wanted wherever he wanted because he sure as hell wouldn't be taking up my time.
 
Given what he's said, it's time to give him the boot.
No one who truly loves you is going to say the things he said to you.
Let him find someone who is more "manly",while you find someone who loves and respects you for you.
 
The topping issue is just an excuse. He just wants to play around.

If that's what you want too, fine. If not, get out of there.
 
I think I'm gonna attempt it. Just to see what happens. I'm pretty average in size. Around 5 1/2 or 6 id say. He has alot of ass though and like I said he's quite a bit bigger than me in height and weight.. You think it'll reach? lol!
 
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