Boyfriend wants to take a relationship break,

[Willie Boy]

I'm talking to him now and I asked him why he dosen't want me in his life during these challenging times and he said that it's "Just a personal preference.'' He also brought up that he dosen't want me there because I would baby him and that i'm an emotional person.

In other words he feels smothered. I would move on. But before you go out and cling to another, I would suggest you learn how to live without needing to have someone. Otherwise the new guy will soon start feeling smothered as well.

 

[future_retro]

'Taking a break' is just a coward's way of ending a relationship. He's saying this because he's too gutless to say 'it's over'. You say you love him and you don't want to break his heart - I wouldn't worry at all, I think his heart will be perfectly fine. He's the one who wants this - not you.

You have to wonder how much he really cares for you if he's willing to leave you hanging like a string with a 'maybe we'll get together again in future, maybe we won't'.

Leave him. Move on. Tell him 'yeah, let's take a break - for good. Cya.' If you hang around like a lost puppy dog hoping for him to come back, you're only going to get very hurt.

 

[Willie Boy]

No. Taking a break is a man's way of saying he doesn't like being smothered.

As I said, the OP has some things to think about before his next relationship starts. Unless he gets his shit together before the boyfriend decides the relationship[ is over.

 

[TheSculpter101]

I've decided to stay with my boyfriend. I love him way to much to let him go. He proved to me that he isn't seeing anyone else and has also proven to me how much he loves me. I know a lot of you will think I'm stupid for this but I can't let him go, I love him with all my heart.

 

[bankside]

Nobody thinks you're stupid. But I, and probably others, didn't even realize that staying with him was an option.

We thought the options were:
a) don't stay with him because you're on this break that he wants, and then you wait around without being able to go on with your life, long enough for him to make up his mind whether he feels like he's had enough of a break or not
or
b) you say "Thanks but that's not a very appealing offer. If you can't see us together now, and together getting through all that's going on in your world and my world and our world, then it is better that we each have a clean break so we can move on with our lives.

but staying with him is option c? Where'd that come from?

 

[TheSculpter101]

Well we had a serious talk together and we will be back together by this Saturday. And he said he wants this break because he would feel bad not being able to talk to me 24/7 which I never found was an issue but hey I wont deny him what he wants. As for the him seeing other people that was never in his mind. He told me that there is no one but me who he is interested in. And I mean, his family is going through a big divorce and he is moving here soon coming up so I think I can survive til Saturday.

 

[Just_Believe18]

I don't quite understand. You've already been on a break but you're getting back together this Saturday? What has he resolved since this short amount of time to be separate from you?

 

[Willie Boy]

That's your take and opinion on it, willieboy.

Don't try to state that as fact.

The OP stated it as fact. So no it was not my take on it.

 

[looseliam]

I don't quite understand. You've already been on a break but you're getting back together this Saturday? What has he resolved since this short amount of time to be separate from you?

I guess he'll get his pickle dipped before Saturday.

 

[Scottyboi]

i really hate to say it but thats what it sounds like =(

if it comes out later he did have sex during this time, u have every right to feel cheated on w/e he calls this

 

[bankside]

Well I don't know about that, but I don't know otherwise either.

I think on Saturday you should have a long talk about what it means for him to "be on a break." Maybe he understood that a break gives him the opportunity to pass the time in someone else's company. If so, it has implications for your relationship, but if that works out okay, it also has implications for your health in a shared physical relationship.

Just be careful, use common sense, and don't assume. Talk about it.

 

[TheSculpter101]

I'm kind of scared. ): I don't wanna sound paranoid but he hasn't talked to today once. ): I just wish he would at least tell me if he is busy or something. ):

 

[bankside]

Someone saying "I need some time to think about a lot of stuff" is being fair and up front, and that time should usually be respected. If that is all he means by "taking a break" then he communicated it badly.

But you have agreed to it, and I think you should not expect him to call, and you should let him be, until the weekend.

 

[TheSculpter101]

We have been talking for our whole break.

 

[Ninja108]

Do not be afraid to ask hard questions..and speaking from experience, if your guts tell you something is wrong....listen to it.

 

[TheSculpter101]

Seeing as how things are going now, it's to hard to tell whether things are going to work out or not. /:

 

[looseliam]

I hate to be the misanthrope, but I'd cut your losses and move on. He isn't deserving of your time, effort, emotion.

I know it's difficult when one's feelings are strong.

But, ask yourself this: were one of your good friends to approach you with a similar scenario, what would you tell them to do?

 

[altlover85]

The Sculpter 101, I'm sorry you and your boyfriend are going through such a difficult time right now.

I'm confused though. He says he wants a break, but then wants to get back together with you a week later?

He says he wants a break so he can have some thinking time, but you've been talking during the whole time you've been on this break?

You need him to clarify what a break means, especially whether or not it entails being able to sleep with other people.

I don't see any reason to call for a break except to have some time to think about things and to decide to have sex with other guys. There could be other reasons, but those are the ones that come to mind right now.

Good luck and I hope this resolves itself positively for you.

 

[TheSculpter101]

Thank you Altlover85. Obviously my relationship isn't perfect haha. But I really have no evidence to if something is going on or not. All I can really do right now is wait, despite not wanting to. /: I love him so much and I don't want to let him go. But if it turns out he is sleeping with other guys then he obviously doesn't love me anymore. I'll wait to see what happens and tell you how it goes.

 

[altlover85]

Thank you Altlover85. Obviously my relationship isn't perfect haha. But I really have no evidence to if something is going on or not. All I can really do right now is wait, despite not wanting to. /: I love him so much and I don't want to let him go. But if it turns out he is sleeping with other guys then he obviously doesn't love me anymore. I'll wait to see what happens and tell you how it goes.

Once the break is over and before you have sex again, make sure you have a clear conversation about what this break means.

Again, best of luck.