Boyfriend's manhunt account

[bleedlikeme]

I've been keeping tabs on my bfs man hunt account just to see what was on it etc and it was ok because it had "just looking for friends" so I was like okay that's fine.

But tonight I noticed he had a new 'private image'.

This is bad but when he was out of the room I logged in as him and saw that he uploaded a naked picture of himself, but it has to be unlocked for people for them to see it.

I feel pretty sick.
How do I bring the situation up?
Obviously he wouldn't know that I logged into his account but it's really disturbing me.

 

[vidarr]

Short answer: If theres trust in a relationship you don't need to 'keep tabs' on him.

But if it makes you uncomfortable I would ask him to delete his account.
And tell him why..

If he won't do it or passes it off as not a big deal. Then I would insist.
There are too many guys that expect you to be exclusive and yet don't want to be exclusive themselves.

I'm not saying this is the case. but it's a good idea to start asking him what he wants from the relationship.

 

[wooffy]

I feel pretty sick.
How do I bring the situation up?
Obviously he wouldn't know that I logged into his account but it's really disturbing me.

Well, first start by apologising to him for invading his privacy. Then review the relationship rules you both agreed to, and see if any have been violated, and if they still work for you both.

Frightening how often we see this question.

 

[Echoes]

I think you've just crossed one of the most important basis a relationship is based on "trust." You should apologize to him and ask him directly whatever doubt you may have, also you should be prepared for a break up.

Without trust there's no relationship.

 

[Maklaar13]

There can never be a good relationship without trust. You have showed poor judgment by invading his privacy, make an apology and hope that you can save the relationship is that is, indeed what you want. I don't think I could forgive anyone for such act.

 

[racer2438]

Nothing worse that a insecure snoop in a relationship.

You start off by telling him your sorry that you did what you did. You have broke the most important part of a relationship----TRUST something that is earned and hard to get back...once lost by things like this...

Then reevaluate your self to see if you are making the right choices in your relationships.

 

[bleedlikeme]

What a bunch of predictable sappy replies.
It's hardly going through his journal or reading his text messages.
My *boyfriends* manhunt account had activity on it so I checked it out.
Turns out my suspicious were proven correct.
I'm not apologising for anything. He is the one in the wrong here. Marjory. He has been caught red handed.
I didn't ask for a lesson in morals, I asked how to approach the subject with him.

 

[Echoes]

What a bunch of predictable sappy replies.
It's hardly going through his journal or reading his text messages.
My *boyfriends* manhunt account had activity on it so I checked it out.
Turns out my suspicious were proven correct.
I'm not apologising for anything. He is the one in the wrong here. Marjory. He has been caught red handed.
I didn't ask for a lesson in morals, I asked how to approach the subject with him.

Anyway, you should start by apologizing, or maybe you want to approach him without telling the truth? that'd make it even worse.

 

[HeavenOnlyKnows]

Oh lord. I bet if he said something like" I looked through my boyfriends journal and I found out that he was a serial killer who has already killed 20 people," you would all still jump on him for not trusting his boyfriend.

Fact of the matter is, your boyfrand is putting up naked pictures up on manhunt.

Is he just looking for flattery?

Or is he looking for sex?

Apologize if you want, but he is possibly cheating on you, which is worst than snooping through accounts. I would confront him for sure.

 

[altlover85]

I've never been on manhunt, so I'm not totally sure how things work on there. Do you have to be logged in as him in order to keep tabs on him?

If so, how are you going to get around admitting that you logged in as him? If not, you could talk generally about him having an account and why that bothers you.

Have you two talked about him having an account before? If so, what does he say?

If he still has an account and is posting pictures, I'm not sure why you'd want to be with him anyway.

Have you two talked about exclusivity before or is it something you assumed would happen?

 

[NephilimSin]

Oh lord. I bet if he said something like" I looked through my boyfriends journal and I found out that he was a serial killer who has already killed 20 people," you would all still jump on him for not trusting his boyfriend.

Fact of the matter is, your boyfrand is putting up naked pictures up on manhunt.

Is he just looking for flattery?

Or is he looking for sex?

Apologize if you want, but he is possibly cheating on you, which is worst than snooping through accounts. I would confront him for sure.

I would have to agree with "HeavenOnlyKnows", the signs are there. Y would anybody have private pics up in a site like that? To flirt? to tease? or sex? Nobody would put nudes up in a site like that for your friends to see, you would put it up there for means of sexual profit.

Yes, I do feel you should talk about this about him. How to bring it up? I usually bring important things to talk about someone when I am driving with them in the car. Idk if that would work for you, but anything is worth a try for you.

 

[bleedlikeme]

Thanks guy.
I don't know how I'm going to get around not telling him I logged on as him, kinda tricky.

 

[TX-Beau]

The signs are there. if you're so insecure about your relationship that you're spying on your boyfriend. Logging on as him, you don't trust him and never will.

No matter what he does. You were spying on him before the pic, you'll be spying on him no matter what.

You never trusted him, and yeah, maybe he is untrustworthy, but then so are you.

You're doomed in any event.

 

[TX-Beau]

Thanks guy.
I don't know how I'm going to get around not telling him I logged on as him, kinda tricky.

You're mad at him for posting a pic, now he gets to be mad at you for violating his trust.

You don't know if he's cheated on you, you have no idea, you just wanted proof, so you violated his trust.

Now you don't know how to get around that?

Well, here's the problem with what you did. No matter what he's done, you can't prove it, and you can't bring up the pic without you being the asshole.

See how that works?

No matter what, you've made this all about your violations. Not his.

Don't ever be dishonest in pursuit of dishonesty, you'll always lose.

 

[wooffy]

What a bunch of predictable sappy replies.
It's hardly going through his journal or reading his text messages.
My *boyfriends* manhunt account had activity on it so I checked it out.

You say you logged in as him (post 12), so you invaded his privacy just as much as reading his journal or messages. Had he given you permission to login to his profile? If not, you're guilty, period.

Next question: do you two have a monogamy agreement? Does it extend to not flirting on-line? Does it extend to not sharing photos? Yes? No? Assumed?

So far we have you guilty of invasion of privacy. He may be guilty of breaking your relationship rules (or not), and he may or may not have done more than post a private photo or two for reasons you don't know. You have reasonable suspicions, but neither proof nor real clues that anything wrong happened. How about doing the honest thing, confess your crime, and then you can ask him in good conscience why he was on Manhunt?

Two wrongs don't make a right - even if he is cheating on you (again assuming you mutually agreed to monogamy) that does not make the invasion of privacy ok. If anyone did that to me he would have a lot of work to do to regain my trust.

 

[Corny]

The signs are there. if you're so insecure about your relationship that you're spying on your boyfriend. Logging on as him, you don't trust him and never will.

No matter what he does. You were spying on him before the pic, you'll be spying on him no matter what.

You never trusted him, and yeah, maybe he is untrustworthy, but then so are you.

You're doomed in any event.

this. you are on a downward spiral.

soon you will be checking his textmessages because his phone had "activity".

if you feel so in the right to check his account .. why do you not want to tell him that you checked it? it's easy .. because it wasn't right. if you still argue that it was right, just go ahead and tell him.

 

[Telstra]

people must have personal freedom to do what he/she like.

If both don't agree, partnership won't work.

 

[NineOfClubs]

Before it ever came to the point where you're invading your BF's space, the two of you needed to define the boundaries.

You didn't and now you're facing this mess, one that probably won't end well.

A case in point for having well thought out "rules" in any relationship, guys.

 

[StakeMe]

Yes trust is important...but if you get "that feeling" that something isn't right, that someone is lying to your face...look into it. Usually those feelings of intuition are spot on.
If you go invading your boyfriends privacy and find something terrible that merits a breakup then I say power to you. It justifies it if you find something worth finding. On the other hand if you snoop and find absolutely nothing I think you'd have to re-evaluate the relationship and ask yourself why you felt like you had to snoop when he really had nothing to hide.
I don't think you did anything wrong. Definitely confront him on it and don't be worried about "invading his privacy" he'll get over it if he legitimately wants to be with you.

 

[mbamike]

Break-up with this guy because you don't trust him. You will drive him and yourself crazy if you continue with this kind of behavior.