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Breaking up by Text?

Now you are changing your story, later you said you feared for your safety, do what you want, it's still childish.
Yes he said if I did it in person he'd beat the shit out of me.
You can believe what you want.
 
Yes he said if I did it in person he'd beat the shit out of me.
You can believe what you want.

I do :rolleyes:

So you want be to believe that he threatens to beat you up if you break up, so your gonna keep going out with him. If that were the case you should text the police instead of him.

It sounds like you are not in a grown up relationship. Stop taking his calls, don't make plans to see him, if he comes over tell him to leave or call 911. He'll get the hint.
 
I do :rolleyes:

So you want be to believe that he threatens to beat you up if you break up, so your gonna keep going out with him. If that were the case you should text the police instead of him.

Text the police and say what? I gave very few details on purpose. I didn't expect some posters to make so many assumptions.

The mods can close this thread now.
 
Text the police and say what? I gave very few details on purpose. I didn't expect some posters to make so many assumptions.

The mods can close this thread now.

I was joking about the text, but call them if you really do feel threatened and ask if you can file a police report. I had a former coworker get mad at me and say "I know where you live and where you car is parked" He once told me he thought of doing something to another coworker's car in disguise so I went and filed a police report so if he did something they could get him.
 
I was joking about the text, but call them if you really do feel threatened and ask if you can file a police report. I had a former coworker get mad at me and say "I know where you live and where you car is parked" He once told me he thought of doing something to another coworker's car in disguise so I went and filed a police report so if he did something they could get him.

Sorry I guess I'm a little on edge.

He'not a dangerous guy in general. He just is young and immature and could be dangerous when emotional. He also has some dangerous friends. Part of the reason I won't stay with him is some illegal activities he's involved in.

He asked me out. We dated for a little. I broke up with him in person (in public.
Weeks later he contacted me to apologize and we hung out as friends. I said it was best we shouldn't be intimate. After hanging twice he said he couldn't hang with me and not want sex. I was stupid and gave in. Weeks later he's introducing me as his bf. So we never officially got back together. Anyway thanks.
 
Wow...dangerous friends and illegal activities. Then there ain't no shame in following this advice.

Huh. And all these years I've been using the Witness Protection, and/or faking my own death.

We understand. Wish you the best.
 
I kind of break a relationship by text but in my defense I'll say we were just starting to meet, we weren't even officially dating, at least as far as I knew, we lived in different towns so metting in person was not very easy, he started to reproach me for things I couldn't control and things escalated pretty fast. I finally sent him a text saying we better were just friends. I felt as an asshole though, disappointed and an asshole.
 
Is it ever acceptable to break up via text? I'm sort of about to do this and I feel like the scum of the Earth. There aren't many alternatives though.

It's a bit of a cop out and the real problem is that feelings aren't dealt with in the same way because the impact is somehow deficient compared to in-person breakups. Plus one can always accuse the person who texted of being a coward who couldn't face the person and man up to them in a real life breakup. The person may end up thinking so much less of them no friendship is even possible or desirable...
Also, revenge might become an issue in very weird ways using text like framing via mobile hijacking etc. Revenge plus technology knows no bounds!

The impact of text though strong is eventually weakening since it is so ubiquitously used in general.

But if they break up via skyping each other (not text only but video too) on their mobile it's somewhat more acceptable though still a cop out of sorts.
 
Hell yes...it is OK. If you understand what you are up against and you have safety issues...fuck all of the rules.
 
Lucky , We have had our differences , though this time think you have done the right thing . Especially if he has threatened violence .
 
He is abusive and manipulative.

You should save your compassion for people who reflect that back. With someone like that I would not have broken up by text. I would have broken up by a registered letter written by my lawyer.
 
One of my colleagues was told about her upcoming divorce by text. Her husband helped her with the school run in the morning, told her he'd see her after his regular training session with the football club that night as usual, and then texted her later to say he wasn't coming back.

As terrible timing would have it, she was with her mother at the oncologist when it came through, hearing that her mother had a brain tumour.

-d-
 
My ex and I have never really broken up in person or over the phone. The first time I changed my relationship status to single because I might as well have been. He sent me a message on Facbook telling me it was over, which was a 'duh' kind of moment. The second time he sent me a rude text and I never got back to him. The last time I told him how I didn't like the way he treated me and he never got back to me. If the circumstances were right, then I would have told him in person...as I came close to doing on several occasions. I didn't want to be stranded in the middle of nowhere, which would have happened.

My first boyfriend and I had a similar break up. He yelled at me over the phone and compared me to his new boyfriend, and I hung up on him mid sentence and that was that.

Absolutely no regrets [-X
 
My first love did that to me. A text message break-up is the worst kind of break-up! No closure, no nothing! Just a freaking text that doesn't explain anything! Of course I pestered him, called him, emailed him for being a coward. Finally he replied and wrote a huge email. I was hurt, devastated and confused. Well, a few months later we became FWBs and a year later I allowed the "friendship" to simmer and die out...

I promise myself never to text someone in that fashion, so low. I prefer to be classy, meet them in my worst gear and tell them face-to-face like a human being!
 
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