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Breaking Up: How Do You Know.

Kester

Kester

Kris
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When you break up with someone how do you know that your making the right decision? How do you know that your not making a mistake and that your not going to regret it later?

This guy that I've been seeing for about 9 months now... I think it might be over. I think that I just want it to be over. He didn't do anything wrong. Part of me wishes that he had, it would be easier if I had a reason to hate him.

I know that he thinks the world of me, I just don't feel the same way.

So when you break up with someone how do you know its the right thing to do and your not going to regret it later?
 
If you don't want to be with someone---then it is over. It's healthier for the two of you to talk about it and go your separate ways than to continue in a relationship in which one of you wants out and maybe looking for ways to make it happen.
 
Kester said:
So when you break up with someone how do you know its the right thing to do and your not going to regret it later?
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You don't.

And you always run the risk that someday you will look back and realize how stupid you were to break up- especially if the guy genuinely cares about you.
 
There's no guide to life. We don't know if we're doing the right thing when we take that job offer, or move to a new city, or break up with our boyfriends.

Lex
 
I'd talk to him about it. Let him know how you are feeling, and that you aren't as crazy about him anymore as you used to be.

It's better to do it sooner though rather then let it go because you'll eventually find some "reason" to end it, and it wont be pretty. Best to leave on good terms rather then bad.
 
It's trite but give him the 'lets just be friends' speech.

It doesn't always work, and sometimes ends with hurt feelings on both sides. But at least you gave it a shot.

If however you no longer wish to see him ever for any reason feel free to be brutal :P jk. Talk to him let him know that the magic is gone and go your separate ways.

As to knowing whether it's time to break it off. Well some early warning signs are a lack of interest in your partner. Becoming irritated at little things that never used to bother you. Considering killing him... uhhh k well that one you should probably talk to a doctor about :D There are a dozen little signs to tell you that the magic is gone. Ultimately either you can act on them before you do something stupid like move in with him live in misery for a couple years then break his heart and have him get all vindictive and take the house and the dog and the monogrammed towels. Or you can choose to continue living in an unhealthy relationship and miss Mr. Right who wanted you and you wanted but since you were in a relationship couldn't have.
 
KaraBulut said:
And you always run the risk that someday you will look back and realize how stupid you were to break up- especially if the guy genuinely cares about you.
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What he said. And the hard thing in your case is that - as you said - he didn't do anything wrong. This will make it very tough, but if you cannot go on like that you still need to do it.
Did you ever try to explain the "part time" thing that you mentioned in your blog to him? Or is this about other things than spending too much time together now?
 
Well I did it.

I broke up with him.

Now i just hope I made the right choice.
 
What reason did you give him?
 
Only time will tell mate if it was the right choice... and you'll know.

Just do yourself a favour... try to figure out why you felt like this, try to understand what happened here otherwise you are doomed to go through this again.

Relationships arent really like old shoes or a favourite shirt, you know, one day you think - geez I'd like a new one. They are about ups and downs, they are about highs and lows and familiarity and boredom, they are about change and spontaneity.

They are about what you guys bring to them. And if they bore you or you lose interest you have to ask what have I done or not done first, so you dont throw good things away because of the wrong reasons.

Because Kester, you deserve someone in your life to make you smile mate, and thats the truth.
 
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