Broke up... for good

[aznboi90]

After the last post, I decided to wait it off and see where things were going between my ex-boyfriend and I. Apparently, things went nowhere; he led me on for these past two months. I was fooled by him, again. This time, it was my fault for trying to fix this relationship when I knew it was not going to go anywhere. But the ultimate blame was to be him. He is a liar, he lied to me about the smallest little things. It makes me want to regret meeting him in the first place, BUT if I did not meet him, I wouldn't have learned from all this.

Thinking about it, this is probably the 11th time we tried to part ways, and this time, it's REAL. I'm not going back to this toxic relationship anymore. I'm so done with all the drama and bullshit. He shot down my ego and self-esteem after all these break-ups. I have great support from my friends and coworkers, and I know that they will be there for me through the good and bad. It's just that I do have to admit that I feel empty at times, there's that gap when he's not around. I want to fill in the gap and replace the void, but I know it takes time. It was just two days ago.

I found out on Sunday that he posted another ad on Craigslist on Friday night (not surprised) he was looking for a hookup. I confronted him about it, and I told him that we needed a serious talk, I was done playing games with him. That night, I asked him why did he do that. He said that he was going to talk to me about this and in person and that it was too bad that I had to find out that way. I don't think so, he wouldn't have probably told me about it until I found out. But whatever, the point of his argument was that he wasn't feeling the same way as he used to anymore. WHAT THE FUCK? After two months, you lead me on, calling me every day and night, and then you tell me that you don't feel the same way? Get the fuck out! I was just a booty call the whole entire time! He was never serious... Get this, after all this, he asked if he could keep our friendship. I told him no, I'm sorry, but you can't have my friendship. I'm done. I'm walking away because I don't need all this drama and weights in my life. He knows that I need my space, and so he won't be calling me, which I want. I just hope in the meantime that I don't see him at all, we live really close by to each other and usually go to the same mall, club, events. I need to go out because I don't want to be alone, I want to keep myself busy.

For these past two days, I've been doing good. I haven't had the need to call or text him, but at times, there are moments that I have some kind of thoughts about him, and I burst that bubble so I won't think about him. I know that it takes a long time, it's a long process to get over someone (especially when I've known him for 3 years now). I honestly just want to get through the first week, and I do know that there will be bumps along the road. It's tough... It's just hard not to think about him even though he caused me so much drama, heartaches, and heartbreaks in my life. I resent him.

I'm just here to vent/rant, hopefully I can get some support or any advices. Thanks guys.

 

[racer2438]

No more need to rant/vent.. it's time to heal, rest, and get back up and move forward with your life.

The past is the past and don'tlook back you can't change it what has already happened..

The future is right in front of you... And it's up to you.

 

[Seasoned]

You will hurt and you will miss him because you gave more than he did. He likes playing around with a lot of people and perhaps has the type of personality which makes it easy for him.

Try not to call him names and try to be neutural towards him from an intellectual perspective. You were correct to cut the emotional ties. The emotions will overrule the intellect and each time you go back you think less of youself.

The reason I don't want you calling him names is that you end up beating yourself up. You are not compatible. You're a one guy kind of guy and he is not. That doesn't make him a bad person but it makes him the wrong person for you.

There is nothing wrong with you thinking he is hot, but if he lied or led you on he thinks with his dick. If you see him again you are giving the message that you also think with yours, whereas, in fact, you don't, at least not in the long run. If you run into him think with your brain and what it would mean for you the next day if you let your dick make any decision regarding him. Think of him as a nice person with a different set of values.

 

[D-Base]

You did the right thing. Hugs.

 

[Willie Boy]

You are right in that you need to keep yourself busy. But that doesn't necessarily mean going out to all the same old places. Change up your schedule a bit, try finding different places to go to hang out. Heck maybe even stay home and do things around the house.... Do you have room for a garden? Maybe set up a puzzle and spend time putting it together? Invite friends over and have a peaceful evening healing at home.

If you continue going to the same old places you'll run into him again sooner or later, its best to just keep away from that as much as possible.

Good luck.

 

[vforvendetta]

A lot of this sounds like what I recently went through, so I can sympathize quite well with your pain. Unfortunately it's hard to block out exes, and sometimes you just don't want to, as if there's some way to fix it or motivation to "get back at them". I hope you find the right path in order to get over and get away from your past....as they say, time heals all things. While I'm not entirely sure it heals completely, it's done me quite a bit of good in the few years experience I have.

 

[Croynan]

you have put up with enough. no more for your own benefit. plain and simple - just stay away from. you deserve better times.

eM/

 

[thecapo]

How are you holding up? Its been a couple days and just wanted to check in.