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Bruise Violet
“Mom please!” I begged. I was shirtless with only a pair of jeans on me, my father stood above me; a short, stiff horse whip was grasped tightly in his hand, drops of my blood clanged to it.
“That doesn’t warrant a pardon Omar” she said, a look of steel on her white slender face, there was no compassion there, none that I could find. I glanced at the computer screen again; endless pictures and videos of men, naked men doing things that condoned me.
“I knew it, I had a feeling that you were up to no good, that your mind ran with these impure thoughts…sick Omar I’m sick and so is your family!” Even though my father had been living in America for nearly thirty years he had never lost his Arabic accent, something that he was very proud off, it was that accent that had won my Caucasian mother over.
Tears ran down my face, they mingled with my sweat and blood that my father had spilled. For a good minute nobody said anything, not me, or my parents, it was eerily quiet.
“Get out” my mother said in a hushed whisper.
“What?”
“You heard your mother out of this house! You have five minutes to take your filth with you”
I couldn’t believe it, they were actually kicking me out of the home where I had been living in for the past 21 years, they were forcing me out.
“Please I’ll change, I promise please-“ they cut me off, my parents didn’t want to listen, they both left the room and closed the door behind them.
Fuck. There was no going back, they were some of the most hard headed, rash individuals and whenever they made a decision they stuck to it, I knew because I was just like them. I had no choice anymore.
I grabbed what I could, I threw some clothes in a duffel, grabbed my guitar and journals…the rest of my life was expandable, I looked outside the window and there they were, in the backyard sitting down on the garden chairs, pretending like nothing had happened.
My little sister Ariel paced back and forth, she was eighteen. My parents probably told her to go with them, I couldn’t even say goodbye to her!
I turned off the computer, put on a t shirt that stuck to my bloody back and headed out the door, I knew where to go, the one place where I knew I would not be judged by my orientation. I looked back at the house for one last time…this was it, no goodbyes, I had enough money for the bus to Los Angeles, I sighed and walked to the bus station.
I arrived at my uncle Leland’s house in less than an hour, he was my mother’s older brother. Uncle Leland lived by the beach on Santa Monica, not far from the pier.
It took him a while for him to open up, but he did eventually, he was happy to see me, ecstatic even but as soon as he let me in I fell forward and blacked out.
*****
I dreamt of my parents, their heads where huge with rivers of tears coming down their face, my little sister was trapped in a cage above their head, her usual pigtails were gone, replaced by snakes that bit at each other. I couldn’t move, I was helpless, behind me was the screen that was my downfall, a sea of men bathed in blood as they touched each other.
I couldn’t take it anymore! It took me for what seemed ages to scream but I did it, my uncle was there by my side then, I was no longer in my head!
My vision was still a little blurry but I definitely knew there was somebody else there too, a tall blonde haired man with a concerned look on his face, his shirt was bloodied and so were the rags in his hands. I had no idea who this was, and I thought maybe that I was still dreaming but it all seemed too real for me this time.
“Do you know your name?” he asked, he was bathed in white light from the bedroom window, he looked angelic to me, with his short blonde hair and blue eyes, he was…cute to say the least.
“Omar” I croaked “my name is Omar.”
“Good” he smiled and went over to talk to my white haired uncle by the corner of the room, he came back and put a hand on my shoulder.
“Okay big guy, this is the deal, you have no deep wounds so you don’t need any stitches, I treated your wounds and you should be good to go in a few days, and don’t forget to put on that ointment that your uncle has, it works miracles!”
“Thanks” I managed; they both left the room and closed the door behind them.
My stuff was on a little wooden chair that I would probably brake if I sat on it. I got up and went to the full length mirror and checked out the state of things, my back was patched up with some bandages, it no longer hurt as much, hell I think they sting was gone.
I was six feet tall, broad shoulders and not to toot my own horn but with a fair amount of muscle. My father had always pushed me to do my best, to be the best and this was a really simple way to do it, being bigger than everybody else. I also had a fair complexion thanks to my mom, but got the vast amount of hair from my father. I liked my body, vain? Yeah maybe, but I tried to be as a good kid, other than my confused orientation...
“Who was that uncle?” I asked when we were at the table having dinner “Richard Marley, he’s the doctor next door” he laughed and took a big gulp of coffee “Why Omar, interested?”
I almost spit the coffee out which made him laugh a little harder. I admired my uncle so much! Leland Jackson was easily one of my favorite people in the family, a rock, stable ground in a typhoon of emotions. He was 67 but he looked as if he had 55 on a bad day, he owned his own house, car and even managed a small restaurant, the 5’11’’ geezer still had a lot of fight in him.
“No, I was just wondering who he was” I said a little too quickly for him to buy it.
“Omar…son, I don’t care what you like, well I care but I don’t want to control it, that is your preference and many times we can’t control what our body likes or dislikes, I love you no matter what, pig headedness and all”
I almost cried, but held back the tears. I grabbed the coffee pot and topped him off.
“I love you too Uncle Leland”
“Mom please!” I begged. I was shirtless with only a pair of jeans on me, my father stood above me; a short, stiff horse whip was grasped tightly in his hand, drops of my blood clanged to it.
“That doesn’t warrant a pardon Omar” she said, a look of steel on her white slender face, there was no compassion there, none that I could find. I glanced at the computer screen again; endless pictures and videos of men, naked men doing things that condoned me.
“I knew it, I had a feeling that you were up to no good, that your mind ran with these impure thoughts…sick Omar I’m sick and so is your family!” Even though my father had been living in America for nearly thirty years he had never lost his Arabic accent, something that he was very proud off, it was that accent that had won my Caucasian mother over.
Tears ran down my face, they mingled with my sweat and blood that my father had spilled. For a good minute nobody said anything, not me, or my parents, it was eerily quiet.
“Get out” my mother said in a hushed whisper.
“What?”
“You heard your mother out of this house! You have five minutes to take your filth with you”
I couldn’t believe it, they were actually kicking me out of the home where I had been living in for the past 21 years, they were forcing me out.
“Please I’ll change, I promise please-“ they cut me off, my parents didn’t want to listen, they both left the room and closed the door behind them.
Fuck. There was no going back, they were some of the most hard headed, rash individuals and whenever they made a decision they stuck to it, I knew because I was just like them. I had no choice anymore.
I grabbed what I could, I threw some clothes in a duffel, grabbed my guitar and journals…the rest of my life was expandable, I looked outside the window and there they were, in the backyard sitting down on the garden chairs, pretending like nothing had happened.
My little sister Ariel paced back and forth, she was eighteen. My parents probably told her to go with them, I couldn’t even say goodbye to her!
I turned off the computer, put on a t shirt that stuck to my bloody back and headed out the door, I knew where to go, the one place where I knew I would not be judged by my orientation. I looked back at the house for one last time…this was it, no goodbyes, I had enough money for the bus to Los Angeles, I sighed and walked to the bus station.
I arrived at my uncle Leland’s house in less than an hour, he was my mother’s older brother. Uncle Leland lived by the beach on Santa Monica, not far from the pier.
It took him a while for him to open up, but he did eventually, he was happy to see me, ecstatic even but as soon as he let me in I fell forward and blacked out.
*****
I dreamt of my parents, their heads where huge with rivers of tears coming down their face, my little sister was trapped in a cage above their head, her usual pigtails were gone, replaced by snakes that bit at each other. I couldn’t move, I was helpless, behind me was the screen that was my downfall, a sea of men bathed in blood as they touched each other.
I couldn’t take it anymore! It took me for what seemed ages to scream but I did it, my uncle was there by my side then, I was no longer in my head!
My vision was still a little blurry but I definitely knew there was somebody else there too, a tall blonde haired man with a concerned look on his face, his shirt was bloodied and so were the rags in his hands. I had no idea who this was, and I thought maybe that I was still dreaming but it all seemed too real for me this time.
“Do you know your name?” he asked, he was bathed in white light from the bedroom window, he looked angelic to me, with his short blonde hair and blue eyes, he was…cute to say the least.
“Omar” I croaked “my name is Omar.”
“Good” he smiled and went over to talk to my white haired uncle by the corner of the room, he came back and put a hand on my shoulder.
“Okay big guy, this is the deal, you have no deep wounds so you don’t need any stitches, I treated your wounds and you should be good to go in a few days, and don’t forget to put on that ointment that your uncle has, it works miracles!”
“Thanks” I managed; they both left the room and closed the door behind them.
My stuff was on a little wooden chair that I would probably brake if I sat on it. I got up and went to the full length mirror and checked out the state of things, my back was patched up with some bandages, it no longer hurt as much, hell I think they sting was gone.
I was six feet tall, broad shoulders and not to toot my own horn but with a fair amount of muscle. My father had always pushed me to do my best, to be the best and this was a really simple way to do it, being bigger than everybody else. I also had a fair complexion thanks to my mom, but got the vast amount of hair from my father. I liked my body, vain? Yeah maybe, but I tried to be as a good kid, other than my confused orientation...
“Who was that uncle?” I asked when we were at the table having dinner “Richard Marley, he’s the doctor next door” he laughed and took a big gulp of coffee “Why Omar, interested?”
I almost spit the coffee out which made him laugh a little harder. I admired my uncle so much! Leland Jackson was easily one of my favorite people in the family, a rock, stable ground in a typhoon of emotions. He was 67 but he looked as if he had 55 on a bad day, he owned his own house, car and even managed a small restaurant, the 5’11’’ geezer still had a lot of fight in him.
“No, I was just wondering who he was” I said a little too quickly for him to buy it.
“Omar…son, I don’t care what you like, well I care but I don’t want to control it, that is your preference and many times we can’t control what our body likes or dislikes, I love you no matter what, pig headedness and all”
I almost cried, but held back the tears. I grabbed the coffee pot and topped him off.
“I love you too Uncle Leland”

















