Bumpy Road

[CbForU]

It seems like life is good for a bit then it always comes crashing down. I am a rambler. I am a rhizome. Sorry in advance for the blah of my life. Perhaps a soul may relate or even offer a bit of guidance. Or even better support. Please be as kind as possibly with responses. I've had some nasty internet banter in these spaces and this is a human writing.

My boss was recently fired unfairly and I was randomly given all of her responsibilities. Nobody really asked. I was just expected to do this. Then over time I realized I was being manipulated by a class A narcissist. I've lived with narcissists before. I know what they are capable of. They are capable of life term damage and the best thing to do is to stay as far away from them as possible. Because of my zero tolerance policy on narcissists I quit after realizing I was being love bombed at the same time I was being pinned against other workers at the site. Judging from various statements that were being made they were simply envious that I could say no to things outside of my original contract and was working less. (Idiots think the only way to live is to work themselves to death so they can support a family. While yah you have to work like a slave if you are going to feed a kid or three dummies! And a car! Fuck that shit, those are expensive.) Dumb me I started doing the things outside of my contract! I also knew from my fired boss that this Exec Director had fired people with no justifiable cause before. So I would be next at some point. Perhaps the way I left will be seen as a fired offence, but I did put in my two weeks before I started being financially and emotionally manipulated to stay simply because it was easier to them. Overall I loved my job and didn't mind doing a little extra to help out. But it became way too much way too quickly. I live a non-conventional life and people get jealous that I am able to work less and are confused when I don't follow the American path to middle class respectability. I don't mind eating beans and lentils. I don't mind being poor so long as I am not stressed as fuck. I don't mind donating plasma. So I've already started looking for other jobs and have an interview with a place that I've heard is much better to work with. I know there is bullshit everywhere, but I do believe there are some places with less bullshit, so I hope.

On top of that the one person I would have gone to with this drama, the one person who would support my unconventional fuck it and leave attitude, the person who would tell me that not looking for another job first was probably the right choice, has passed away. That's the conventional wisdom I would have got in this situation. Find a job, then quit. But I wasn't dealing with the bullshit a MINUTE more and having to explain all of the accumulated conversations, the proof of manipulative and questionable behavior, and all of that just to explain why I seemed to be behaving "irrationally" and "abruptly". The worse that will happen is that they try to take back some payment they gave me, the payment used to manipulate me. I don't care, I will be very upset if that happened but oh well. They shouldn't have tried to pull me back in after putting in my two weeks. After they pulled me back in with the manipulation I realized after the fact what was occurring like an idiot!

I do wonder if I will ever be a stable man? Will I ever be comfortable with myself in a world that is full of this crap. Every place I go has some terrible B.S. I cannot tolerate. Yes, maybe I am being a whiny little brat who needs a diaper and a good firm spanking, but yikes. This world is full of piss. Thanks. Oh yah, my cousin is dead, that's a whole nother drama in the making.

 

[TX-Beau]

Good Luck with the job hunt, hope it works out for you.

 

[jaysizzles]

Sometimes you have to suck it up on the job and put up with the BS, but if you're truly unhappy, I think it's best for you to move on to another job. Maybe you just haven't found the career that will motivate you and keep you interested. Since money isn't your motivation, maybe corporate world and cubicle life just isn't right for you. Maybe you'd be happier with a job that is more physical...idk.

Anyway, until you figure some of this out, I suggest you contact your former supervisor, that was fired, and let her know you're no longer in the firm. See if she would be willing to give you a letter of recommendation and be a reference. Perhaps she'll be able to give you a lead on jobs that she may come across that you'd be qualified for. When interviewing, try not to bad mouth the firm you left or the person that became your supervisor. Instead, find a way to build yourself up without tearing them down.

 

[CbForU]

Sometimes you have to suck it up on the job and put up with the BS, but if you're truly unhappy, I think it's best for you to move on to another job. Maybe you just haven't found the career that will motivate you and keep you interested. Since money isn't your motivation, maybe corporate world and cubicle life just isn't right for you. Maybe you'd be happier with a job that is more physical...idk.

Anyway, until you figure some of this out, I suggest you contact your former supervisor, that was fired, and let her know you're no longer in the firm. See if she would be willing to give you a letter of recommendation and be a reference. Perhaps she'll be able to give you a lead on jobs that she may come across that you'd be qualified for. When interviewing, try not to bad mouth the firm you left or the person that became your supervisor. Instead, find a way to build yourself up without tearing them down.

I am glad I was vague enough to make it sound like I'm a corporate bitch. I've done physical labor before. I grew up working class tossing, stacking, and splitting wood. Im too much of a queen and nobody wants a queen running a chainsaw. I love the work I do. I'm a teacher and the type of students I teach are grateful.

And yes my past supervisor has been super supportive. I interviewed today for a similar position at a more stable site. The guy did bring up the name of the whackadoo I worked for and my field is so small everybody knows everybody. He didn't dig too deep but when he brought my Exec up I asked "how did that go" the conversation went a little further and I said the information was beyond me. The site already has a bad reputation but it's hard to say who knows what. What I can say is that most people in this field are good hearted and can see through bullshit when they see it. If he were more direct with what he wanted to know I would have told him the truth. I wouldn't say anything negative but just the facts about why I left.

Fingers crossed thanks for your support and words. Thanks for reading and absorbing the struggle.

 

[Rickrock]

Sorry for your bad luck. Hope that things get better soon. Jaysizzles did give some good advice.

 

[KaraBulut]

...I do wonder if I will ever be a stable man? Will I ever be comfortable with myself in a world that is full of this crap. Every place I go has some terrible B.S. I cannot tolerate. Yes, maybe I am being a whiny little brat who needs a diaper and a good firm spanking, but yikes. This world is full of piss. Thanks. Oh yah, my cousin is dead, that's a whole nother drama in the making.

We get posts like yours from time to time- where there's not exactly a request for support. Instead, the person just needs to vent and let loose of things that they've been holding inside.

As such, I'm not going to offer unsolicited advise but I will make an observation:

There's two modes of living life; one is planned, the other is unplanned.

The advantage of having a plan is that you aren't at the mercy of the whims of others, including awful bosses. If you're unhappy and miserable at a job, in a relationship or any other circumstance, then come up with a plan and make the change. It's much better to be in a place where you are acting on your plan instead of reacting to the plans of those around you.