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trikky

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I have posted a few threads here over the last 6 months. Basically I decided then that i was ready to get started in the gay world but not yet ready to come out due to a very religious Mother who I don't believe will reject me but will have enormous difficulty in reconciling it with her religious beliefs, but hey that's another story. Apart from that I could be out to pretty much everyone else, just "waiting for the right moment." :D

Anyway I have recently changed a lot including my look and clothes and joined a gay social group and been to the local gay village clubbing a few times. I know that it will be only a matter of time before I get spotted in "the village" by someone who knows me which will then trigger off my coming out properly and last night it happened. I was trying to get into a gay club where I have been a few times and the doorman wouldn't let me in for some reason. Anyway this other doorman took me aside and said he knew me. It turned out that my Aunt is married to his Uncle, so although we are not blood relatives he is a cousin of my cousin so to speak. I would never have recognised him because last time I saw him was about 10 years ago and he was only about 14 but he recognised me. Anyway we had a brief chat and he asked if I wanted to get in the club and whether I had been in before and I said "yeah loads of times!oops!" Talk about outing myself! Anyway he got me in and told the check in desk that I was his guest and didn't have to pay :D. He is such a nice guy :D. Anyway it happened so quick and afterwards I realised I should have got his number because I didn't get a chance to ask him not to say he saw me there before I have a chance to come out to immediate family. Anyway he is in touch with one of my cousins who I have been wanting to come out to for a few months. I am sure he is gay. But I wanted to do it face to face and I don't see him that often. The last couple of times I saw him I have tried to get the conversation around to it and he seems to change it, maybe thinking I'm gonna ask him if he's gay. Anyway it looks like this is the catalyst for coming out now. I have phoned my Cousin but his phone was off, so I'll have to try him again later. I'll probably also now use this as an opportunity do come out to my siblings. Not sure yet about my Mum although it would be pretty bad if everyone in the family except her knew. Wish me luck guys.
 
Hi Trikky! I know what it means to be gay and around religious family. My hats off to you for dealing with this and looking for your happiness and peace of mind. We all deserve to live our life as we see fit but unfortunately for some folks...religion controls their every move and for some folks it's not as easy to come out mentally nor ohyscially to their family or friends.

Much luck and keep us updated!
 
Well, I personally didn't have to go through such a process. I just told people. I mean, if you WANTED to change your look and your clothes and your entire social calendar, hey, that's great, but there's this vague implication that "now they'll know I'm gay and they'll ask me about it". I just told people and got back to doing what I was doing - which may have been "gay" or not, but it didn't really matter.

Lex
 
Lex I haven't adopted a gay look as such. It's just that before I never looked after myself because I didn't want attention from anyone when I wasn't ready to deal with it. Now I am I've just smartened myself up so that I get the attention that I previously avoided. However the fact that I have done so has kindof got people wondering why. I am just putting myself out there which I wasn't before.
 
Yeah. I play myself down while going out cause i don't want to be bothered. Other people just drain me. But I mean, I can't help attracting people. You can't really avoid other people. I have to learn to like them if I actually want a life. *sigh*

I like to keep to myself, I'm just that type of person too. But it's like, I'm not getting anywhere cutting myself off from relationships.
 
Hey, I like my Lex time, too. But I try to be aware that everybody I run into has the potential of being somebody interesting, or a good friend. I don't KNOW until I give them a shake. If they prove to be boring or not my type, I at least gave it a go.

Lex
 
well I managed to get hold of my cousin. I had texted him in the meantime saying that I had bumped into this guy last night. Anyway he obviously asks where I saw him and I named the club where he works on the door, which is quite a famous local gay club, but I noticed that my cousin kept steering the conversation away from anything gay related and changing the topic so I kept changing it back and then I mentioned that I had been trying to get into the club etc and how he got me in, and he went on to name a couple of clubs he used to go to in "the village" but then changed the subject again. I didn't actually get to say i'm gay except by inference. Anyway during the convo he asked me to come over next weekend for a bite to eat and so given the late hour and him trying to wrap things up and my preference for telling him face to face I decided I'll leave it until next week, but for all intents and purposes I have pretty much told him. :-D
 
Congrats on "telling" him, I suppose you can say. Good luck for when you see him in person. My family is very religious so I waited until the last minute to tell them. My dad pretty much disowned me for it, but my mom is actually getting better. She knows my boyfriend and goes to all his school plays and stuff (without me even knowing it sometimes)... you can be surprised how your mom could react. As they say "your mom is a gay man's best friend" or something like that....

Well either way good luck! If you ever need to chat let me know
 
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