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Call me PARTNER - No Husband for me..

kinkikiki

kinkikiki

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Okay

Me and my partner Ryan (been together 6 years) had our civil ceremony in February past (I'm American btw, but live and work in London).

Anyways....since then people have been referring to me as his "husband" or calling Ry my "husband"

I dont like it all and I tell em I'm nobody's wife hence I have no husband and vice versa. I think its a totally hetero term.

What you u all think?
 
yeah...its complicated. I wouldnt mind being called husband I dont think. But you are right Partner is a more neutral term. Lover seems kinda cheap especially after a commitment ceremony of some kind.
 
I'd go for the partnerplan as well. My partner and I have been together for 2 years and I dont feel right saying husband, lover, roommate, etc.
 
I personally see no problem with the term husband. In fact, I can't wait for the day when I can call the man I love my husband. To me, partner seems inferior and substandard in some way. You have partners in law firms, partners in medical practices, partners in some other business enterprise. Joining your life with someone is way bigger than some business venture. I have a partner in a business. I have a mate, a spouse, a husband in life.

That’s just my opinion, to each his own.
 
What is wrong with you or other people calling your partern your husband, as long as they do the same to you? You are your partner's husband, and he is your husband.

Hey its a personal thing, if someone ever told me they don't like it I would promptly stop.
 
My partner of nine years and I refer to eachother outside of the home as PARTNER. At home, other names and terms are used....
 
I am my partner's partner, not his husband. And vice versa. I agree with you, "husband" is a hetero term. We have some friends who casually refer to my partner as "your husband." I cringe each time as I've never gotten used to it.
 
I prefer partner as husband can imply some behaviors that may not refer to you. Husband and wife carry certain sterotypes with society and may not be that way for your situation.

Eg--Wife: cleaning, cooking, banking, serving, washing dishes & clothes, etc
husband: working, yardwork, honey-do lists, repairs, etc.

These are typical stereotypes, not how I feel!

But, if you are partners, you both contribute to the relationship and share in the duties.

At least, we do.
 
'eh I kind of think it's hot thinking of the time when I will be called a husband, and my husband will be able to call me his. I think of it as just another name, nothing attatched to it, no stigmata, no nothing, just a term of endearment. IN the end it's just a word, and it only has the definitions you put to it.
 
I go back and forth. We got marrried, we live in Massachusetts, and I use both partner and husband. Partner seems like we're in business together. Just because I have a husband doesn't mean anyone is a wife.
 
I say it's cool that people are so non-challant about it.

You go ahead and define your own terms, but not get your knickers in a knot about it.

This is new territory for us homos, and we're still settling on what word sounds the best.

I used Husband when I was married (and I just found out I'm legally still married.. but that's another story)
 
For the record, even though Carlo and I were married and together for 13 years, I always called him my "Boyfriend".
 
Why not refer to him as your 'euphemism' : the substitution of an agreeable or inoffensive expression for one that may offend or suggest something unpleasant; also : the expression so substituted

But seriously isn't there a communications major out there with some degree in languages that can come up with some term yhat fits us? With all the languages on the planet there has to be a word in some country that will work.
 
I think I might be able to get used to straight people referring to my partner as my husband if I were in a long-term relationship right now.

After all, that is a term they use to acknowledge one's legal spouse. So not only is it the best they can do, but it's a pretty significant term coming from them.

I think I would at least try to get used to it.
 
It all bows down to personal preference - I do like the term boyfriend and partner more than anything else, but once again, that's just me! :D

Sigh......if only I had one :(
 
averageguy said:
I am my partner's partner, not his husband. And vice versa. I agree with you, "husband" is a hetero term. We have some friends who casually refer to my partner as "your husband." I cringe each time as I've never gotten used to it.
Click to expand...

When they say it I cringe - I have a physical reaction really,[-X
 
robertac said:
On the other hand, "Partner" seems too formal and even sterile to me! I might as well call him my business partner or associate!
Click to expand...
For me "partner" brings up memories of grade school or lab partners...so I think I'd prefer husband, though I'd prefer a different term which still had some relation to "commitment" (though more obviously romantic than "partner").
Queer_Appeal said:
Personally, I don't like the term partner. The way I look at it is this: The term is meant to be more pc, but in using it, you are telling people your sexuality.
Click to expand...
On the other hand, when you're a man and saying "my husband", you're being even more obvious about your sexuality than if you said "partner". Still, I'd prefer to let people know if this "partner" of mine is male or female and husband/boyfriend does the trick.
 
I was also uncomfortable with the word "husband" because I am in no way feminine, and don't think of myself as a "wife", but that's just old fashioned thinking. I now understand that by getting married to a man and having a husband didn't make me any less masculine. It is a term that we just have to get used to, just like str8s have to get used to the idea of two men getting married. (!) (!) (!)
 
You can call yourself whatever you want, but I consider it a huge accomplishment for gay rights if people are considering couples like you and you partner as husbands.

Personally, I don't like the term partner. No offense to anyone who likes it, of course. I just find it to be a little...stereotypical, I guess. Of course, once I find a guy, I probably won't give a shit about what anyone lables us as.
 
Well if it's straight people who are making the comment, and they're being sincere about it, how about having them refer to your partner as "Your Ryan?"

That's a compromise that my friends and I have come up with when we're talking about each other's significant "other."

How's your Ryan? How are things with you and Ryan?

Instead of using a moniker like husband, why not using his name?

If people want to know who is Ryan, then you can define who he is in your life by your terms.

Here in Texas, my freinds use the term husband, almost sarcastically as not to offend:

"Gurl, where's your huzzzz-bend?"

Of course we know each other pretty well, and it's more to imply, why are you out having fun while he's obviously at home taking care of the "chill-drens? Don't be letting us ketch you cheat'en!" ;)

(*8*)
 
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