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Calling All Trekers !!!!!

I'm trying to help you make it better. You did ask for feedback, and I'm trying to give you an intelligent response. I know my way around both the Star Trek Universe, and Creative Writing in general.

I know you said I need to play the game to get it, but that's not what you should say, to readers and the audience. You should get the story by reading, or seeing the story, not with prior knowledge. I do understand the story, but because I've read, watched, and written a fair bit of Sci-Fi. Is this to appeal just to Star Trek fans, or to movie-goers in general? Who is your audience?
 
Alot changes have been made to my script. if you want me to email it to you send me your emails. Thanks
 
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