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Came out to Dad

O

ongjay2002

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I did it. I finally came out to my father and got the surprise of my life. About two months ago, my dad and I had a one-on-one conversation about me. He was dropping hints about sexuality and the like and told me that if there was anything I wanted to share with him, that would have been the time because he could no longer take the anxiety he was feeling for not knowing everything about me.

I was shocked to say the least. Not only because of the topic we were tackling, but more so with his calm disposition and diplomacy in handling that situation. I couldn't hold back the tears and told him to give me time and that he should not worry about his ONLY CHILD.

So fastforward to today, I finally told him EVERYTING. That I AM GAY. I told him that I am in a relationship with another man and that this is what I am all about.

All throughout this conversation, he was calm and understanding. he did raise some of his worries but he assured me that he accepts me.

Unfortunately, my mum doesn't know yet. My dad doesn't want her to know because she's quite high strung. She's a loving mum, but both my dad and I know just how emotional she can be and so he assures me that he will not let my mum know anything untill we both feel that she's stable enough to accept this.

I am extremely grateful for having such a wonderful father. Never in a million years would I have imagined this kind reaction. He's even giving me advice on where my partner and I could possibly live freely without judgement. It's not easy for a father to know that his only child, his son is gay. But of course, I can't say he is not, for lack of a better term, dissapointed. But it takes a lot of guts and only a real man can accept this. And that, my father is. Because he showed acceptance, love, support and respect...|..|..|

BUT, the icing on the cake was when he told me to hide my gay porn collection safely 'coz he accidentally ran by them while browsing through my DVD's. He said my mum might see them as well.
I almost fell and that almost made me forget about our entire conversation!!! How embarrasing!!!!oops!!oops!!oops!
 
^ wow

that's great

ur so lucky to have such an understanding dad

he helped u come out

that's awesome

big smile

love that he told u to hide the gay porn - LOL
 
Congrats. Your dad sounds like a wonderful man.

I haven't told either of my parents. Pretty much everyone else knows, but my father's not around and my mother's a homophobic bitch.

My grandma knows though. I told her a few days ago (i've been out to everyone else for years... Long time in coming) and she just asked me if I'd met any nice boys and to make sure I only have safe sex, so I don't get AIDS.

English isn't her first language, so she's very very blunt. But I like that :)

-Laz.
 
thats awesome. I find it to be the other way around in most cases. Usually it's the mother who is so understanding and the father is the one who holds the grudges. Sweet deal.
 
Exactly, in most cases dads are those you can't talk to about homosexuality.

And yes, the gay porn.................kinda funny I thought:D
 
Your dad is a prince.
 
You have a kick-ass father. If you neglected to tell him yesterday, tell him today.

And find another place for your porn. It's the least you can do. :D

Welcome to the other side. ..|

Lex
 
Wow, that's a hell of a dad! I wish it were so easy for me...

Anyway, congratulations!
 
Finding the porn almost certainly gave him time to process that you're gay before you explicitly brought it up. So maybe there is something to be said for leaving things like that laying around...
 
Congrats!!
My experience was similar in that I somehow felt safer telling my dad and he was also supportive and said your my son and I will always love you. and then i started crying and yes it was like a weight had been lifted wooo hooo!
 
Great outcome!

I remember when an ex of mine told his mother, she said to him that he could never tell his father because "it would kill him". She was wrong, of course. Once he was told, and accepted it, he was fine. At one point he seemed almost "crazy" about me, liked me a lot, and had no problem with my relationship with his son.

Dads are alright.
 
Actually, part of what made me come out was because dad told me his health was being affected from not knowing certain important aspects of my life ie. sleepless nights, heart problems & such. So when we had our talk, he too, was relieved from whatever secrets there were between us.

My mum is cool, too. She's got a great sense of humor and is incredibly sociable. Just high strung. And the fact that we've created such a good image for our family business here makes my dad worry that she might get affected. She loves me sooo much and I know it, but she just needs time. And I totally understand my dad's concern regarding this.
 
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