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came out to mom - she's no longer speaking to me

I'd agree with that.
I told - no, the correct term was 'announced' - that "I'm a homosexual" to my parents. I was 12.
My father looked at me, and my mother called from the kitchen, "what did he say?" and my father replied, "He says he's homosexual." My mother: Oh.
That was it. No screaming, remonstrations, except my father tried to convince me - reassuringly - that I was not homosexual because "they don't like girls." I remember thinking, "How can they be so wrong - YET again?" But I never had a lack of support, even when my mother found "athletic posing magazines" under my bunk bed at 16. And I'm Black.
SOOO, if there is genuine communication, compete with "I've been wondering about the merits of staying true to my principles" type conversation, then it genuinely sounds as though you were showing each other your true selves. Were you? If you were not, then this might have been not "expected," exactly, but anticipated, because you were - one or both - hiding authentic parts of yourselves from each other. Do you feel, aside from being gay, that you were completely authentic?
 
I'm soon to be 31, and I came out to my mother when I was 19. She is a deeply religious woman, and with certain truths she conveniently experiences "ostrich" syndrome. She can be in denial all she wants, as she's convinced to this day that I am merely going through a phase. Alas the truth is out there, and the rest of my family and friends accept me. I would love her acceptance and approval, but they are not necessary. At least she hasn't shunned or disowned me.
 
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