Came out to my best friend over the weekend...

[tnicdfy]

Strange weekend to say the least, as I didn't plan on this happening or expect it at all, I kind of got tricked into it...

Before now, I had only come out to any of my friends once before. I was in high school and it ended up badly. So after that I was always really uneasy about telling anyone else and never did, but last weekend that streak ran out.

One of my best friends (not to be confused with the unnamed other best friend in my previous posts for those of you bored enough to follow them/look them up), I've gotten closer to than probably any other friend I've ever had. We are so much alike, have helped each other a lot, we love each other like brothers. We're really close and have a really special friendship.

Naturally, as they always do for me, more-than-friendship type feelings creep into my head and start confusing everything.

When my friendship and plutonic love for him grew, the extra feelings and physical attraction started and grew as well. He's a very good looking guy, works out, short, blonde hair, well-shaved body, great personality, and since I have seen him in underwear, I did know he had an above average penis size for his height (and possibly any height). He was just about everything I'd want in a guy physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Now, I get rather flirtatious to say the least. Butt touching, chest rubbing, etc., all under the very thin guise of joking. So through the months of our friendship I would touch him, grab his ass, I would tell him how hot he is, and over time as my urges grew I'd compliment his package, and eventually even ask to see it. I kept pushing things further since nothing I ever said/did seemed to upset him. I don't know if I ever thought he truly liked it, just that he was tolerating it. But he would always refuse to show me his penis. That seemed to be where the line was. I'd always get turned down there no questions asked. Sometimes it'd seem like he was being a tease with me, telling me its big, etc. but when push came to shove, he'd never show me.

Last weekend we were hanging out, and afterward as usual, he'd drop me off at my house, but before I'd go in for the night, we'd sit and talk, usually about any problems he has or anything like that.

This time after a few minutes, he randomly says "So you wanna see my weiner?". Now, I had wanted to see it for like a year and a half (and see it BADLY for many months) so my heart rate instantly shoots straight up but I try to stay calm. I said "Yes." He said "Ok, I'm gonna show you my weiner now." And just like that he pulled it out, and there it was, looking as damn nice as I thought it would. So at that point my hormones completely took over. I didn't stop to wonder why he was doing it, I just knew that he was, and I never really thought he'd ever volunteer this. So I figured this could be a once in a lifetime shot. I took a few pics of it with my phone (didnt come out, too dark), and I reached over and started touching and then started playing with his penis for a good thirty seconds or so, while he just sat there and let me. It was a long-time goal realized for me, possibly the most arousing thing I've ever done.

Then right after he asks "So... you're not gay are you?" And then I knew I was stuck.

Truth be told, I'd seriously contemplated telling him before but was always afraid he might react negatively to the past touching, etc, and get upset. I felt kinda guilty cuz hes the one guy who he and I tell each other practically everything to. But on this night I had no choice. I came out and told him that yeah, I have feelings for guys, and I've had feelings for him. And I tried to explain the whole struggle I go through with him and other guys of getting in close friendships, and then developing feelings for them and having to try to suppress that for the sake of the friendship. And having to keep it secretive for the sake of the environment we are usually in, which wouldn't be very tolerant of that.

But when I told him the truth, he was extremely understanding. He told me he's basically known I was gay for a long time based on the things I've done and said to him. And any time he's "teased" me before its been to try to get me to just say the words and admit it. But he showed me his penis because he wanted to know the truth and know for sure. And he even figured I'd probably try to grab it. Yet he still did it and still let me. He said it didnt arouse him and that he doesnt think about guys, but I guess in his mind it was worth it to get the truth. But he told me it doesn't change anything about our friendship, and I asked him if he still loves me as much as he always has, and he said "Of course".

I feel weird that someone knows, Im not used to it, but I think I'm happy that he knows. And that I know for sure where things stand. And I'm really happy he's so accepting of it, and I guess has been for a while. I'll always be attracted to him, and may try to check out his penis again, as long as it doesn't hurt our friendship (hey, I still want pics!). I've talked to him a couple times since already and everything still seems totally normal just like it always was, so Im happy. And I'm really touched that he cares enough about me to put himself in a situation like THAT in order to find out the truth.

So, as of now, chalk this up as a very successful coming out story. It wasn't my dream scenario of a relationship or any type of sexual activity (which I admit I never thought to be realistic) but it was a best friend being understanding of another's problems and demons and secrets, and quite possibly making our friendship even stronger because of it.

 

[Dejajb]

awwww he sounds like a great guy!! congrats!

 

[gustischafer]

i wish i had your luck!

 

[trawler69]

You are a lucky guy to have a friend like him.

 

[ManAlive]

That is an awesome story! That has to be any closeted guys dream scenario I wish my best friend had known about me and tried to get me to open up like that. Whatever you do, dont let your feelings get out of hand! This is not an invitation for you to start flirting even more, he isnt going to show you his penis again!

Good luck with everything!

 

[veryhotguy]

I really laughed when you said this wasn't a dream scenario. Just as if your best friend showing his dick to make you come out isn't hot as hell. Not everyone is THAT lucky, you know.

 

[tnicdfy]

You are a lucky guy to have a friend like him.

Thank you and I know, he's a really special guy. I've been lucky enough to get close to him through helping him out a lot, and being there for him for 2 or 3 personal issues he himself was going through. We really are close as brothers. And after all this, I probably love him more now than ever.

That is an awesome story! That has to be any closeted guys dream scenario I wish my best friend had known about me and tried to get me to open up like that. Whatever you do, dont let your feelings get out of hand! This is not an invitation for you to start flirting even more, he isnt going to show you his penis again!

Good luck with everything!

Haha, well short of him coming out too, this is definitely about the best case scenario possible, which I'm very thankful for. I knew I'd have to tell him someday soon, I just never ever imagined it'd go down like this. Usually my luck in the "gay" side of my life is beyond piss poor, but I guess maybe karma gave me something back this time.

And I think getting the chance to do that to him helped put my feelings back under a lot more control. After a year and a half of wanting to do that, I feel a sense of relief now. I refuse to think in the context that he'll "never" show me it again or anything like that, even if its true, because then my urges and frustrations will build up again and I'll be back in the same dilemma. The forbidden fruit is always the most tempting, you know. As of right now, I was able to do something I'd wanted to forever and never thought I would, so compared to usual, I'm pretty content.

I really laughed when you said this wasn't a dream scenario. Just as if your best friend showing his dick to make you come out isn't hot as hell. Not everyone is THAT lucky, you know.

Haha, ok it was definitely A dream scenario. And it was the hottest thing I've ever done. I got hard the moment it happened though I dont think he knew. His dick felt so smooth and strokeable in my hand, probably 4-4.5 soft. His pubes weren't totally shaven but still pretty clean. And I touched his ballsack for a split second too. I'm not the kinda guy that masturbates all the time (once or twice every day or two I guess) but in the 72 hours or so since this has happened, I have probably done it at least 15 times while thinking about this. It was that great for me.

 

[veryhotguy]

Your str8 best friend sure got Balls to put himself out like that just to know for sure that you are Gay, and still be the same loving best friend you've always had. Congrats dude!

That's exactly was I was thinking as well. He's a keeper..

 

[spencer]

ask him if he would like the favor returned and if he wanted to explore your body

 

[tnicdfy]

I just spent almost three and a half hours on the phone with my best friend. We didn't spend that entire time discussing my coming out, but a good portion of it. I told him now that things were out in the open I wanted him to hear everything I go through so he can truly understand some of the issues I have to experience.

I told him about what my exact feelings toward him are, physically and emotionally, and that I'll always be attracted to him and always think he has a nice penis, but I think too much of our friendship to think of him sexually beyond that, and wouldn't unless for whatever reason he was into it to. I told him about all the emotional stuff i go through keeping things secretive and how I wanted to tell him so many times but got scared. I told him about the urges I get toward him and others and why and some of the things he had done to make them worse.

Again, he was really understanding and supportive. He admitted maybe 2% of him is uncomfortable by all of this, but thats all. I'd imagine that'd go away with time anyway. We were cracking jokes by the end of the conversation too so everything seems to still be going in the right direction.

I told him that just because I've told him all this, doesn't mean my feelings and urges will go away, and sometimes I may get the urge to slap his ass again or ask to see his penis, but it'll not be any worse than it was before and he's been through the worst of it. And I told him if I ever cross the line, just understand what Im going through, tell me, and try to be patient with it, cuz sometimes I have trouble controlling myself. He seemed to really understand that all too and told me he won't get mad if I do stuff like that, though he probably won't give in to my requests either.

I didn't want to tell him I posted this anywhere, but I did echo to him what a lot of you guys have been saying, how well he's handled this, how special he is, and how lucky I am to have him around.

And just to be clear I made sure to ask him if he has any slight interest in me beyond our heterosexual friendship. He said no. But he said its because he loves me like a brother and thinks of me like he does his real brothers. And I also got him to admit that he enjoys all the compliments on his looks/penis that I give him. He doesnt enjoy it sexually of course, but he enjoys the attention and the positive re-enforcement.

So so far this is going ridiculously well. Better than I ever expected. And I feel pretty good right now having gotten all of my thoughts and feelings out there in the open for pretty much the first time.

 

[spencer]

my straight friend pulled the 1% interest level and eventually told me that he'd never do anything with me ever.

he made it very clear that he gets nothing sexually from you.

I actually asked something similar to what your friend did. I asked him that if I could get anything from him I could move on. He shot that one down. it sucks to hang your hat on such an impossible mission.

hopefully you get over talking to him about it so often so he won't get so tired about it being an issue. you end up including it in your daily conversations and it becomes old real quick, but all you can think about is how much you want him.

At least try to meet other men to explore your opportunity to be with other men. even if you go for both at least you're living your life.

 

[G-Lexington]

Your friend sounds like a wonderful guy. So keep him as such, and stop using him as an outlet for your sexuality. Even though he's a lot more open and willing than most would be, it's still a dead end. You're gonna run into a spot he won't go beyond - you can't touch his dick, or caress his ass, or whatever - and you'll be thrown into that angsty, why-did-he-lead-me-on spot where you'll convince yourself that "all I want to do is touch it - that's all - why can't I?"

So go find yourself a guy who actually IS interested in you touching him, and would like to touch you in return. Not only can you enjoy the whole sexual experience there, but you can keep your friend as a friend, as a bonus.

Lex

 

[tnicdfy]

Yeah, I hear ya. I have a couple other friends that I've been flirting with and touching, that have both let me take things somewhat farther than he has so Im waiting to see what that turns in to.

I did develop all that angst you mentioned since I wanted to see his penis so badly and never thought I would. But now that that happened I feel a lot better. I really don't think about having sex with him or anything (don't get me wrong, I would if he were interested, but obviously not the case), so there's really not much else bottled up inside me as far as he goes. I'll always be attracted to him and have feelings for him, but I do realize things won't go beyond where they already have, and I think I'm ok with that. Since all this happened, I've been on kind of an emotional rollercoaster, but when Im able to calm down, I'm happier and more relaxed and don't have to have those urges bottled up anymore. Plus it feels good to have been able to tell someone.

So yeah, problem isn't solved, but will in no way be worse or as bad as before. I will resume touching our other friend, who we are both reasonably convinced is bisexual or bicurious. This other friend has admitted more than once that he'd have sex on the beach with Brad Pitt's character in "Troy". But thats "the only guy he'd ever have sex with". So yeah. Potential there.

 

[Fishstix]

I just read the thread and you are so lucky. Not only to get to play with a crush's dick (Even if it's a few seconds) but even more to have a friend that you connect with that much and that you both understand each other that much. I was just wondering and I'm surprised that no one mentioned this but what was his reaction to you taking pictures? Did he make sure you deleted them?

 

[tnicdfy]

Haha, he didn't really react at the time, I think he was just trying to let things unfold and see what happened. Later he told me he was pretty surprised (or similar such adjective) that I immediately reached for my phone. He thought just for light, but then I started taking pics. I did tell him that night that they didn't come out since it was way too dark and he said he can't say he isn't glad.

Though since then, I've spent time meticulously adjusting the exposure, brightness, contrast, etc. on the pics to the point I do currently have a grainy, distorted, low-quality image of it. He just doesn't know it.

Saw him tonight for the first time since this all happened too. We still hugged, and talked, and all the same stuff as usual. And I had very little to no urge to do or say anything sexual to him. And I was in a much better mood than usual.

 

[G-Lexington]

>>>Though since then, I've spent time meticulously adjusting the exposure, brightness, contrast, etc. on the pics to the point I do currently have a grainy, distorted, low-quality image of it. He just doesn't know it.

And this is how you repay? Seriously? You tell him "no, those pictures didn't come out" but you keep them for yourself, presumably under the "he doesn't have to know" clause?

Rethink this. Seriously.

Lex

 

[kissthesky88]

whoa. i have almost twice as many straight guy friends as i have friends that are girls (and about ten times as many gay friends) but i have to say... if i were you, i would be mad. no, i would be furious. and appalled. that would have been a huge personal blow to me. he tricked you into confessing you're gay by teasing you for months and then randomly propositioning you a glance at his cock? and then he let you play with it? god damn. if that isn't manipulative... then i don't what is.

 

[rareboy]

I think you deserve one another as friends.

 

[tnicdfy]

whoa. i have almost twice as many straight guy friends as i have friends that are girls (and about ten times as many gay friends) but i have to say... if i were you, i would be mad. no, i would be furious. and appalled. that would have been a huge personal blow to me. he tricked you into confessing you're gay by teasing you for months and then randomly propositioning you a glance at his cock? and then he let you play with it? god damn. if that isn't manipulative... then i don't what is.

Unless my sarcasm detector is malfunctioning, I'm not sure what exactly was supposed to anger me.

 

[Lube]

Your friend sounds like a wonderful guy. So keep him as such, and stop using him as an outlet for your sexuality. Even though he's a lot more open and willing than most would be, it's still a dead end. You're gonna run into a spot he won't go beyond - you can't touch his dick, or caress his ass, or whatever - and you'll be thrown into that angsty, why-did-he-lead-me-on spot where you'll convince yourself that "all I want to do is touch it - that's all - why can't I?"

So go find yourself a guy who actually IS interested in you touching him, and would like to touch you in return. Not only can you enjoy the whole sexual experience there, but you can keep your friend as a friend, as a bonus.

Lex

What Lex said.

You're just going to bore him to death (if he is straight) and frustrate yourself if you continue to be best friends with him and spend a lot of time with him.

This is why you need gay friends--so you can talk about your gay issues. It's much more interesting to a (concerned) gay friend, and he'll understand it much better than a straight guy.