Came out to my friend

[Jerry]

Hey guys, I haven't been around here too much lately, been kinda busy but I do stop by and read sometimes.

Anyway, I'm 30 and i guess bi, although I tend to like guys more. I've been too scared to tell anyone and even too scared to do anything with a guy until a little over a year ago when I finally had sex with a guy.

Anyway to the point of this, I was texting my friend a couple weeks ago (we're in different states), and I pretty much came out to him. I used to joke with him alot calling my friends boyfriends, and he even would call his friend a boyfriend even though he's married and I KNOW he's straight.

Well I don't know what it was, but I decided to just let it out. I didn't say I was gay or bi, I just said I had a bf and he was hot and I was happy. He didn't accept it at first, saying I need to meet some girls. So I asked him how many girls he's seen me with in the 10 years we've been friends (and we've been good friends, hang out like everyday) the answer is ZERO. Then he mentioned this "girl" I was with since I've been away. I told him that the "girl" was a guy.

His response was honestly as good as I could've asked for. Almost verbatim, I don't care dude, I love you and I always will.

I thought he was going to be weird, but he's been the same friend. I mentioned the guy I'm with a couple times after and he was a little different about that, but he just said it was "weird" since he never thought that about me. So I said I could refrain from talking about it, but since he's the only person who knows, he's the only person I can talk to. He said he's fine with that and I can talk to him about it all I want.

I'm not really in a huge rush to go out and tell everyone else now, but I'm so glad atleast one of my friends knows, and I can't believe how cool he is with it. Like I told him, we've been friends for a pretty long time, and I didn't want to lie to him anymore. I think its actually making us better friends. I'm so grateful to have good friends.

 

[marcelloNYC]

Congrats! He is a good friend. Tell others at your own pace. I just started telling people and it gets much easier with each conversation.

I'm proud of you

 

[Jerry]

Thank you so much.

I will probably tell more people, its just a matter of when and how. I think if its done right people will take it better, ya know?

And if they don't want to be my friend after they know, then they weren't my friend to begin with.

 

[justsomedude]

...And if they don't want to be my friend after they know, then they weren't my friend to begin with.

Exactly, anyone who thinks less of you or doesnt want to be your friend just because you like guys doesnt deserve your friendship, fuck them


and well done to coming out to your friend... it feels good being able to talk to someone about it right?

 

[Jerry]

Thanks. It really does feel good, but I wish someone closer knew so I could talk in person to someone.

I have a female friend who I was going to tell, but she's moving away so whatever. I think she pretty much knows already though, I mean we've talked about hot guys before lol

 

[AlmondMilk]

Congrats well the whole process is basically just an acceptance of who you are and moving on from the burden of hiding yourself from the people you know and eventually society.

I only came out to one person as well. She claims to have a good "gayday" and for some reason never suspected me of being bi or gay. Honestly, I don't know if I'm gay, but it definitely DOES make things easier having a friend who knows

well congrats on such a big accomplishment!

 

[Jerry]

Thank you! Congrats to you too, it really is nice to have someone who knows.

A good friend (female) just moved away the other day. I was going to tell her, but she was leaving. After she left I had to take something to her sister for her, and there was this smokin' hot guy with her when we met up.
So when my friend texted me, I asked her who the hot guy was with her sister. She explained and I said again how cute I thought he was. She just called me crazy and let it go hahahaaha.

 

[marcelloNYC]

Thank you! Congrats to you too, it really is nice to have someone who knows.

A good friend (female) just moved away the other day. I was going to tell her, but she was leaving. After she left I had to take something to her sister for her, and there was this smokin' hot guy with her when we met up.
So when my friend texted me, I asked her who the hot guy was with her sister. She explained and I said again how cute I thought he was. She just called me crazy and let it go hahahaaha.

I have done that myself. Drop hints purposely and sometimes by accident. I was in a conversation with 3 friends a few months back, all girls, and someone mentioned David Bechem and I said, "damn that is one sexy man!" Two of the girls spit their drinks right out and my close friend Lisa, just rubbed my shoulder and said, "have something you want to tell us?"

I told them and there was no issue at all. Except that one of the girls I had slept with and she asked me If I knew when we were together. When I asked why. She said two guys going at it is HOT and she would have been down for that. lol.

 

[Eagle653]

This is a great story--thanks for posting it. The world would be a better place if everyone had your friend's attitude.

Telling the first one is the hardest and weirdest. You've done the tough one. Good luck to you in the future if you choose to tell others.

 

[Jerry]

Good for you and even better for your friend being so cool with it. Please make sure to tell him how important it is to you that he has been accepting and 'cool'

Oh, I've told him. Of course we mostly do this through text, but I "told" him that he's a really great friend and I'm lucky to have him (as a friend), and that I loved him. I said I couldn't believe how cool he was with it, and that it really made me feel better about the whole thing. We tell each other alot of things, so now there's really not much of anything we don't share.

Thanks to all of you for supporting me too, I appreciate it.

Another good thing, I started talking to the guy I was with about a year ago and we're getting along just like we did when we were together (I was forced to move away). We love each other but we're still about 8 hours apart. Hopefully we can figure it out. Its nice talking to him again though.

 

[Kyanimal]

Reading all of this, now, has made Me Very VERY HAPPY!!!

FANTASTIC!!!

Keep smilin'!!
Chaz

 

[AlmondMilk]

oops, I wrote "day" when I meant "dar" I'm sure whoever reads that picks up on it lol. I guess I can't edit my posts ><

 

[Jerry]

More good news guys.

As some of you know, I came out to my Mom too and she has been great. Then last weekend, something really cool happened.

I think I've mentioned that while I haven't come right out and told all my friends, I have been a little "looser" around some of my closer friends, so they'd be able to figure it out themselves.

So last weekend I had a couple friends over, and one of them was talking about our group of friends, how great our group is and all that stuff (we were drinking a little haha).

Anyway, he straight out said "Like Milboy, Milboy's gay and that's cool, that's just who he is" (obviously he used my real name though haha). The cool thing is that he wasn't joking, he totally meant it. Nobody was laughing, we all knew he was serious. He said a couple other things, but I don't remember.

These same two guys have both told me in the past that if I was gay I could tell them, that they wouldn't care either way. Well I didn't come right out and say it, but they know now and they're both cool with it too.


Not sure that anyone here really cares, but I just felt like 'telling' somebody. It feels so good to be yourself and not be shut out because of it.

 

[crowboy]

Not sure that anyone here really cares, but I just felt like 'telling' somebody. It feels so good to be yourself and not be shut out because of it.

We sure do care.

Your supportive comments to other threads do help Milboy.

I'm glad all is going well with you.

 

[tallguy297]

Not sure that anyone here really cares, but I just felt like 'telling' somebody. It feels so good to be yourself and not be shut out because of it.

Doesnt it? Its the most amazing thing when the people we care about show us they couldnt care less and it changes nothing... Congrats mate... you've got a great bunch around you!

 

[blackbeltninja]

Congrats, Milboy

Not sure how I missed this thread back the first time around, but I'm glad I caught it this time.

I did the same thing with my closest friend currently working in Australia just last week - been promising myself I'd do it since January, and finally I did. It took some courage, I'll be honest, and I drafted the email several times and once satisfief I stared at it for ages before finally pressing send. I'd forced my own hand by texting him earlier that day and telling him to check his mail at a specific time, so I manned up in the end and did it.

Got a reply less than five minutes later: "Your revelation has changed nothing between us! You are still awesome and I still love you and I value your friendship. But accepting who you are is important in being able to live with yourself. And love yourself. And when you really love yourself, you make it easy for others to love you too."

I'll admit I had to go hide in the bathroom at the university for a few emotional minutes after that; still it was the happiest day in recent memory, I must tell you. I'm 2/2 in terms of positive responses so far - my gym partner and now my good mate; hopefully more to follow in the coming weeks.

-d-

 

[Kyanimal]

Milboy and BBNinja ...

Tremendous congratulations to both of you!!

THANK YOU! for sharing your stories! It's important to get the word out there that finally being able to just be yourself is a big burden off your shoulders. And, when you get such positive, accepting, encouraging responses, that's just another Boost!! ALL Gay Guys need to hear about this! Even if we've already experienced it ourselves!

Keep smilin'!!
Chaz

 

[Jerry]

Congrats, Milboy

Not sure how I missed this thread back the first time around, but I'm glad I caught it this time.

I did the same thing with my closest friend currently working in Australia just last week - been promising myself I'd do it since January, and finally I did. It took some courage, I'll be honest, and I drafted the email several times and once satisfief I stared at it for ages before finally pressing send. I'd forced my own hand by texting him earlier that day and telling him to check his mail at a specific time, so I manned up in the end and did it.

Got a reply less than five minutes later: "Your revelation has changed nothing between us! You are still awesome and I still love you and I value your friendship. But accepting who you are is important in being able to live with yourself. And love yourself. And when you really love yourself, you make it easy for others to love you too."

I'll admit I had to go hide in the bathroom at the university for a few emotional minutes after that; still it was the happiest day in recent memory, I must tell you. I'm 2/2 in terms of positive responses so far - my gym partner and now my good mate; hopefully more to follow in the coming weeks.

-d-

That is so cool! congrats man!

The two friends who I passively came out to stopped by today to see if I wanted to hang out with them. They're good guys. The same one who said I was gay last weekend made a little crack about me being gay and wanting him to lick butter off of me, but it was all in good fun. For me, it's awesome that not only is he cool with it, but he's so comfortable with me and our friendship that he's messing with me about it (we pick on each other all the time, so that's "normal" for us).


Your buddy sounds like the first person I came out to, my buddy who said he didn't care, that he loved me and he always would. He was pretty much a homophobe the entire time I knew him, but I "knew" we were close enough. Now that we've got that behind us, I KNOW we're as close as can be.

There's something to be said for the love of a good friend, and a good friend will love you no matter what. I'm SO glad things are going as well for you as they have for me!!





***Hahaha I stepped out to buy more beer mdway through typing my response and look at that, more people snuck in there. Thank guys, I appreciate it and I think JUB is a great resource for any gay man***

 

[crowboy]

***Hahaha I stepped out to buy more beer mdway through typing my response and look at that, more people snuck in there. Thank guys, I appreciate it and I think JUB is a great resource for any gay man***

Amen to that.