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Camping this week (LONG)

Oh by all means, fuck him. Or whatever rocks your boat. Just don't expect to have a friend in the morning. And personally, I think having sex with someone who is conflicted and in denial is akin to preying on an innocent. But that's me and I'm kinda weird on the subject :)
 
I am not advocating 'pushing' the situation, nor taking undue advantage. We should always respect the boundaries, and comfort levels, of others.

However, I would let it be known that my "doors" were open, and if they chose to walk through, stepping over their own barriers, they were welcome to make that move.

Over my years, some have, and some haven't, taken those steps with me. With those who did, it usually proved to be a needed catharsis for them, and helped them come to grips with, and resolve, their own personal doubts and fears.

Once "the deed" was done, some returned to their Str8 ways, never to do it again, and some wanted to do some more 'exploring'.

In either case, their decisions were fine by me, and as a friend, I objectively helped some reach their own conclusions if they wanted to talk about it, which I also encouraged.

In no case did I ever "push", but rather allowed those options to be available to them with trust and discretion.

I don't recall ever loosing any friends over it. If anything, it tended to draw us closer, and make our friendship stronger, even with those who only did "it" once. ..| (group)

Keep smilin'!! :kiss: (*8*)
Chaz :luv:
 
Sorry for the long wait guys (Just in case anyone still cares).

Well, lots of shit has happened since the last post. Most of it centred around last Saturday night.

We ended up putting off clubbing on Friday and instead went on Saturday. Everyone came over to my place for a few drinks before we headed out. It was me, Dave, his girlfriend (or ex, Amy) and 4 other buddies of ours. I left the rest of them drinking while I went to take a shower. I was getting ready afterwards when Dave bangs on the door telling me he needs to take a leak. I let him in while I go to get myself another drink. After he's finished I noticed that my underwear, which I had not placed in my wash basket, were now in there. Because I was the only one in the bathroom before and after him, it had to have been him that moved them. What he was doing with them, I don't know.

Anyway, we are all at the club later and I'm sitting beside Amy (his girl/ex) at the table while the rest are away dancing. We get to talking about why they are on a break. Basically a long story that I couldn't really care about but it was one of those "drunk" conversations. She kept saying about how he "didn't know what [he] wanted". I asked her to elaborate further and all she would tell me was that she found "things" on his computer. She wouldn't say any more.

We all had a good (but messy) time. I don't remember how I got to bed but I woke up later in the night in my underwear with him beside me in my bed with his hand right on my stomach. That isn't an unusual occurrence except for where his hand was.

I'm tempted to try and make a move and see how he reacts. It seems like he's edging closer and closer to doing something or maybe coming to better terms with what he is...
 
He's totally open and curious but wants to play this big game about not admitting he's curious while still getting to be curious. You're not crossing any lines that he hasn't told you to sprint for. And now he's single. When he was saying "do you remember last night and what you said and I'm all cool with that…" it was him realizing what a chicken shit he was the night before and hoping to pull things out of the fire so he could keep the curiosity going.

When you've been out for 20 years and you can just say to your guy "fuck, your dick looks hot right now, let's go to the bedroom" his I'm-in-the-closet-peekaboo routine sounds as boring as fuck to be honest.

But maybe he'll gain 10 pounds one day, and maybe he'll drop the act one day, and be a better person for it. So it's your call if you want to wait around.

He's definitely interested, or at the very least he wants you to think he's interested.
 
OH MY GOD, MINOR LITTLE THINGS HAPPENED AND THEY MEAN SO MUCH!!!!!!

Seriously, how long are you going to play this game with him? Your underwear was in the basket? Gee, maybe he's just a bit ocd, no? And maybe what she found on his computer were chats with other girls?

Five Gs here - Good God, Get a Grip Girl. If you were gonna "make a move", you'd have done it by now. But you're just as aware as the rest of us that a conflicted closeted boy has no boyfriend potential, and won't have boyfriend potential for years. At most you'll get a guilty fuck out of him. Boo hoo...
 
Rolyo85 said:
OH MY GOD, MINOR LITTLE THINGS HAPPENED AND THEY MEAN SO MUCH!!!!!!

Seriously, how long are you going to play this game with him? Your underwear was in the basket? Gee, maybe he's just a bit ocd, no? And maybe what she found on his computer were chats with other girls?

Five Gs here - Good God, Get a Grip Girl. If you were gonna "make a move", you'd have done it by now. But you're just as aware as the rest of us that a conflicted closeted boy has no boyfriend potential, and won't have boyfriend potential for years. At most you'll get a guilty fuck out of him. Boo hoo...
Click to expand...

Quite the cynic, aren't we? At this point, I do agree with all the above who say that making any kind of sexual contact would be a mistake. He is definitely questioning his sexuality and he is probably all types of unstable right now. For now, be a good person and a good friend and help him through this. Learn some self control, who knows, maybe there could be something down the road for you two. Not every story has to end horribly. You hold your own fate, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Just TALK TO HIM about it, on a serious note. No more of this joking around bull. Man to man. Ask him what's going through his head. Tell him you're bisexual (if you are), he clearly has no issues with you as stated before after your camping trip. Although he may have some homophobia; it seems to be within himself. His homophobic remarks seem to deal more about him than anyone else.

I wish you all the luck in the world. I hope everything goes well. Keep us updated!
 
I've been following this thread for a little while and I have to agree with some of the recent comments. It's time to stop tap dancing and get the truth out. That does NOT mean you have to have sex with him but all of this back and forth is juvenile. It's basically a game of I'll show you mine if you show me yours. Put your big boy pants on and move this along.

If what your telling us is the truth (and I have no reason to doubt that it is, I believe you), then he is clearly curious or questioning his sexuality. Whether he knows it or not. He's confused and is conflicted. He's probably been raised to think being gay/bi is wrong etc and yet he has these feelings/desires that he can't get himself to act on. If he would get up the guts to do it I'd be willing to bet he'd have an extreme case of the guilts afterward or flip out. He needs more time to figure this out on his own. Let him know your bi. It may give him some comfort and he may be willing to open up a little. At least he'll know he has someone he can talk to about it and someone he can confide in if he wants. All of this back and forth is dragging out the process and probably confusing him even more. I wouldn't just jump in bed with him right away. I don't think he's ready for that. It would probably ruin a good friendship. He'd probably run right back to his ex gf in an effort to reclaim his straightness. Open the door a little. Let him figure out when and how far he wants to walk through it.

Steven.
 
this may sound strange but it might help to define some roles. something i should have done with my bi roommate as he wasn't prepared to confront his bisex but lusted after me, and being the shy dense person i am i let him get away.

so if you define some roles his ego can 'remain intact' for fucking but he wont feel the need to face something he is afraid of, that is being bi. he would be assuming the role of the man or the woman, or whatever.

for instance, if you are playing a part, he is playing a part. you two are already doing it, every gay joke and tease you make at each other is not meant to be serious on the surface but it allows you to communicate with him sexually without 'outing' him. call him your little bitch, etc.

usually if a bi guy wants to get with me he will find excuses like others have said to blame it on something like alcohol. so the next time the gay jokes come up just stay on that 'track' and you can have his ass. haha.
 
I know I shouldn't really be dragging up this thread again but I just felt like I should update everyone with what has happened since I last posted (can't believe it's been that long...)

Round the last time that I posted I applied for a job that meant if I got it I would be spending the summer in Europe. Well I got it and was told I was leaving in early June. I told all my friends and everyone was happy for me, including Dave. He kept making jokes about how I was "leaving him", which I just played along with. Things continued the way they had been going with him, never being sure if he was interested or not but I never tried to force anything because above all, if anything happened I wanted it to be on his watch.

I basically followed that line up until a few weeks before I left when I had my official "leaving party". It was the only time before I left that all my friends could get together. Anyway, we partied, I had a lot of fun and drunk some (just enough to enjoy myself and not go overboard). We went back to mine after and everyone was still partying in the kitchen when I decided to go to bed. I open the door and as I'm about to turn on the light someone from behind rushes me in and pushes my back up against the nearest wall. It was still dark in the room cause I didn't actually get the light on, but I could tell it was Dave cause I could see the outline of his face from the light coming in over the door. We just kind of stood there inches from each other while I wondered "what the fuck is he doing?". My heart was about to jump out of my throat and I would have been very surprised if he didn't hear it trying to beat of of my chest. I've never felt nerves like it. I gave an awkward laugh and tried to walk away from him, at which point he grabs my hand and puts in on his crotch! He was rock hard (I was too by this stage). I looked at him and he just said "I want to do this". So at this point I just thought "fuck it" and went in to kiss him, and we start making out.

I remembered to lock the door (thank God cause various people tried to get during the course of the night) and we make our way over to my bed where we proceeded to make out for what seemed like hours. I lost track of time because it was literally, the best make out session I've ever had. It was like every single tension that had been building between us exploded there and then. We both stripped down to our underwear and continued to make out while we rubbed out dicks together, eventually both cuming. I was absolutely beat due to the combination of alcohol and the release of tension that I fell asleep almost immediately after.

I woke up and I immediately felt that dread that you get after you know you did something stupid due to alcohol. I looked over and he was nowhere to be seen, to my immediate relief. The remaining few weeks before I left our friendship pretty much ended. I worked up the courage to text him a few trivial things to which he didn't reply, and since I was busy getting everything together for leaving there were no social engagements where we needed to see each other. I felt bad but I understood why it was like that. I'm not even sure I regret it, since I now realise that it seemed like our friendship was built around that entire element.

Anyway, the day before I left I felt bad leaving it so... unresolved so I texted him something along the lines of "Look, I know what happened between us was weird but we both know it had been building to it for a long time. I still consider you a great friend and I'll give you whatever time you need to work this out, your buddy Steve". I wasn't expecting a reply but he sent one with "Thanks bro".

Trying to cut a (very) long story short, I went to Europe and had the summer of my life, met a guy (also "str8" but much more comfortable with the idea that he may not be) and we had a great time. I forgot about Dave and it honestly never entered my head.

I got home from Europe in early September and hadn't heard a word from him until last week when I get a text asking to hang out sometime this week and that he has missed me while I was gone. I'm looking forward to seeing him because I want to discuss what happened between us.

Anyway, I don't want this to turn into one of those running, endless drama threads. I feel like it had it's conclusion and truthfully, I've moved on with my life and am not longer excited about the idea of a friendship like we had. I just wanted to let all those kind people offering their advice to know how it turned out.
 
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