The Original Gay Porn Community - Free Gay Movies and Photos, Gay Porn Site Reviews and Adult Gay Forums

  • Welcome To Just Us Boys - The World's Largest Gay Message Board Community

    In order to comply with recent US Supreme Court rulings regarding adult content, we will be making changes in the future to require that you log into your account to view adult content on the site.
    If you do not have an account, please register.
    REGISTER HERE - 100% FREE / We Will Never Sell Your Info

    PLEASE READ: To register, turn off your VPN (iPhone users- disable iCloud); you can re-enable the VPN after registration. You must maintain an active email address on your account: disposable email addresses cannot be used to register.

  • Hi Guest - Did you know?
    Hot Topics is a Safe for Work (SFW) forum.

Can anyone help a writer out?

G

greenelephant

Joined
Jun 4, 2010
Posts
6
Reaction score
0
Points
0
Long story short I'm writing an article about why gay men & women marry straight people and I have my ideas as to why, but I'd love some actual stories, opinions, or reasons straight from the horse's mouth.

As a straight guy, I'm trying to represent the issue as accurately as possible, so if you have something to say, please do.

Thanks.

Previous writing here.
http://floridaagenda.com/?s=sklba&=Search
 
Hello and welcome! We do have several married and formerly-married gay guys here. I'll see if I can send a couple your way.

Lex
 
I've known (intimately) a number of gay men who were married and even had children. I can think of 2 reasons why:

Denial & Image
 
Welcome to JUB.

Interesting topic. Something not always mentioned is the existence of resources targeted to former straight spouses/partners of GLBT mates. This might give you more views on why gay men & women marry straight people:

Straight Spouses Advocate Same-Sex Marriage
ABC News
"When gays and lesbians feel they have to get married to be accepted and to have kids, that hurts not only gays and lesbians, but straight spouses and kids."
http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory?id=8565601

Straight Spouse Network
http://www.straightspouse.org/home.php

Good luck with the article.
 
Main thing I would say is to fit in. Some people don't want to seem different or unlike the poeple around them, and combined with some fear for what poeple will think or do they will marry as straight people would and try to live a false life.

I have also heard from a friend that he knew of a person who was forced into marriage by his parents. The idea, which I think is really stupid, was to try and "knock the gay out of him". That somehow by getting married to a woman he would forget about being gay and that marriage would somehow fix him. This would just be people not understanding that being gay isn't necessarily a choice, they can't choose not to be gay all of a sudden.

Hope this helps!!! :)
 
Let's not forget cultural and political pressures.

Sadly, in some countries, homosexuality is still a prosecutable offense.
 
I have 2 friends who are gay and married to woman.
The main reason for both was to secure health benefits through the wives work health plan, which both gay guys lack.
One is self employed and has a thriving small retail business however cannot afford or even obtain health insurance due to his health.

One couple after being married for many years they had a bitter break up. One reason for the break up of this couple was that the agreement was he would not be sneaking around for sex with guys. I don't know how that was supposed to work in the first place and of course it did not.

The other couple are best of friends and it seems good. Married to a woman but he has a bf living in the house to, the communication was good before the marriage.

Both of these guys are openly gay, and though health benefits were the key factor there were other financial reasons for doing marrying as well.

I wouldn't do this however I can understand why some would who are openly gay, not all people are in denial but the advantages a married couple has on assets and benefits in many cases are denied to couples that are not married. Legally if all the paperwork is dotted correctly one could protect their estate and financial business with a sexless marriage
 
Randy123 said:
I have also heard from a friend that he knew of a person who was forced into marriage by his parents. The idea, which I think is really stupid, was to try and "knock the gay out of him". That somehow by getting married to a woman he would forget about being gay and that marriage would somehow fix him. This would just be people not understanding that being gay isn't necessarily a choice, they can't choose not to be gay all of a sudden.
Click to expand...

There are churches where that's practically preached as divine truth. One reason gays get married in that situation is because on account of their upbringing they see themselves as evil and want to "fix it" themselves, or at least to "cover it with righteousness" (!) by having a "potentially reproductive relationship".

vulgar_newcomer said:
I have 2 friends who are gay and married to woman.
The main reason for both was to secure health benefits through the wives work health plan, which both gay guys lack.
One is self employed and has a thriving small retail business however cannot afford or even obtain health insurance due to his health.
Click to expand...

I wish I could find the article.... somewhere a gay guy and lesbian gal got married for the benefits. They each had a bf/gf who thought the deal was fine. One of the employers pulled partner benefits because "it wasn't a real marriage". The couple sued and eventually won, but went through hell along the way.

And I met a pair of couples where gay guy #1 was married to lesbian #1, and gay #2 to lesbian #2. The guys were bfs, the girls gfs, they all shared a big house -- and got partner benefits they couldn't have as same-sex couples. And each married couple had also managed kids... as "proof" that their marriages were "real".
Poor kids.
 
I guess the obvious answers are denial and social pressure, but some people forget that sexuality isn't linear. Some people do not find themselves attracted to the same sex until much later on in life. Not every gay person "knew it" at 5, 10, 18. I think it's our obsession with youth that causes so many people to forget that you can "become" gay after decades of being straight.
 
Well I was married to a woman for a year in 1980.

Why did I marry her?
1. My mother was always asking when she was gonna get grandkids.
2. My father was always asking where my girlfriend was.
3. because i felt sorry for her.

Why did she marry me?
1. because she wanted me to support her and her child.
2. because she thought she would not have to work

You are welcome to private message me if you want.
 
Even in 2010, marriage is often more an economic merger and an attempt by society to satisfy certain cultural expectations than it is a manifestation of love between two people.

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_y9F5St4j0[/ame]



(Tevye)
Golde, The first time I met you
Was on our wedding day
I was scared

(Golde)
I was shy

(Tevye)
I was nervous

(Golde)
So was I

(Tevye)
But my father and my mother
Said we'd learn to love each other
And now I'm asking, Golde
Do you love me?

(Golde)
I'm your wife!

(Tevye)
"I know..."
But do you love me?
Click to expand...
 
I once had a (straight) friend who belonged to a high cast in India. While he was studying in the USA, his parents selected a bride for him in India.

He told me he was terrified to meet his bride-to-be, as he feared he would not like her, and would get stuck in a terrible marriage for the rest of his life.

As luck would have it, he was crazy about her from the first moment he met her. But no one asked his opinion - or hers - in advance. Love and sexual attraction were nice benefits if they happened, but that had nothing to do with marriage for them.

Marriage, for much of the world and for many groups in the USA, is not about love or attraction. It is a task to be accomplished in life. It is a hallmark of maturity and success. It is done as much to satisfy the needs (including prejudices) of the community as it is to advance the economic position of families. That is why marrying below your social status is still looked down upon. That is why marriage between races is still somewhat uncommon. And that is why gay marriage is so controversial.
 
straight from the horse's mouth.


interesting - except for DEANDBN - everybody knows somebody or has an opinion about shit they really know nothing about .

There is also a huge difference between emotional bonding and sexual attraction -- and if the OP is LIMITING his dissertation strictly to Gays marrying straights - then he's missing a very big piece of the BI-PIE -- Oh F M L - why do I even bother. tell me, why ? srsly?
 
Most of them don't realize they're gay until they're well into the marriage. That's been the case with every single gay friend I've had who's been married to a woman
 
ARGH! It won't let me post the link to the article....anyway I can get around it? Or would anyone like it PM'd to them?
 
gsdx said:
I've known (intimately) a number of gay men who were married and even had children. I can think of 2 reasons why:

Denial & Image
Click to expand...

add to that: insurance, benefits ... and sometimes ... yes ... even love

we DO understand that love and sex can be two entirely different things, right? .. i know one of these couples ... and guess what? they are stable, happy and married for years ... got to love it
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top