Can gay friends be just friends

[vadersapprentice]

Absolutely they can. As others have said before me, I have gay friends who I have no attraction to romantically or even sexually. I am of the persuasion that it should be this way.

If everybody was fucking everybody, who would we go to discuss our issues with... i mean really (not that you should nessessarily fuck everyone you have any sort of mild infatuation with-- but that is another topic for another time).

I once fooled around with a friend of mine who I was not remotely attracted to, and afterward I felt awkward. Our friendship is fine as it always has been, but the entire time felt like I was with my cousin or something.... it just didn't seem right.

 

[iceman23]

yes gay men can be friends. me and my best friend has been friends for 3 years and we never did anything to each other. even though people in the gay and straight community thinks thats impossible i dont understand why. do we have fuck each other to be friends? we need to should people that we as gay people are not bunch sex whores. that there is a lot of gay people who have real friends and it just same as the straight side of the world has.

 

[vadersapprentice]

"In a nutshell, I'd say gay friend friends are the exception."

As much as I respect your opinion, I wonder then Guy4silver, do you find ALL gay men attractive? Personally, I have my spacific tastes, but there are just guys I wouldn't be able to get it up for...but that doesn't mean I can't develop life-long, plutonic relationships with them. A few of my best friends are gay, and I've never given them a second glance sexually.

 

[G-Lexington]

>>>I don't think I'd be interested in hanging out with or spending any real time with a 400 pound slob who is not my type. That type of friendship would have to develop by accident...

I can't speak for you, but I think most of my friendships developed by "accident". I certainly never went out and said "I would like to find some friends, here's a likely subject, I will ask him to be my friend." I meet people, and sometimes we click on some level, and sometimes we decide we want to hang out together. I have friends I share my passion for music with, some I share my passion for indoor lacrosse with, and some I share my love of cartoons with. And some who don't share any of these passions, but we just have similar sense of humor, or ways of looking at the world. And yeah, some of these people are gay. And I don't think about getting into their pants because I'm partnered, and in an exclusive relationship, and don't really have any interest in opening it up. If there's any unresolved sexual tension in the air, I certainly don't feel it.

Lex

 

[chillyboi]

Yes i think they can, sex is'nt everything

 

[G-Lexington]

>>>Let me ask you, what percentage of your inner circle is made up of unattractive women, obese men?

Well, I guess that depends on what you mean by "inner circle". Let me pick...oh, the top 20. And that's off the top of my head, so maybe I've included or excluded someone I shouldn't. And I guess I'll leave out my partner. Attractive scores done off the top of my head on a scale of 1-10.

I - 38, straight male. 6
J - 44, straight female. 6
K - 38, straight male. 7
A - 39, straight male. 7
J - 33, straight female. 7
P - 38, straight male. 9
M - 28, straight female. 10
V - 26, gay male. 9
F - 29, straight female. 9
H - 43, gay male. 4
J - 28, gay male. 6
M - 38, straight male. 9 until he grew that beard...
D - 37, straight male. 8
D - 35, straight male. 8
J - 42, straight male. 6
L - 31, straight female. 6
T - 40, gay male. 5
R - 37, gay male. 8
J - 30, straight male. 7
K - 45, straight male. 6

A couple hotties on that list, but the majority I'd classify as in the "average" range. And several of them on the list are fat. No, I didn't rate anybody under 4, but that doesn't mean somebody else wouldn't do so. As I get to know people, I tend not to think in terms of how "attractive" they are per se. They're just friends, y'know?

Lex

 

[G-Lexington]

I think I find most of my friends attractive because they're my friends, not because they actually ARE attractive. I have a feeling if I posted their pictures, people would probably rate them lower than I did. I probably would, too, before I met them. I don't actively avoid ugly people, and as I befriend them, I learn their "inner beauty" and tend to skip past whatever they look like. They cease being "semi-attractive straight male in his mid-30s" and start being "my friend Fred", y'know?

And it's true, I don't have anyone over 50 in my inner circle. But I don't think that's me tuning them out. I think people tend to be friends with people roughly their age. Not everybody, but in general. I'm 39. Someone who is 50 would be eleven years older than me. I only have three people in my top 20 who are that much younger than me, and I don't have anyone under 25 at all. I'm not tuning the under-25 folks out, either - just not in contact with them that often. As it is, most of the people in my line of work tend to be somewhat younger, which helps explain why I have more friends that are somewhat younger than me.

Lex

 

[cardshark]

OMG G-Lexington, you gave one of your friends a 4!!! I hope he isn't reading this thread...

 

[WIZZARD101]

i have had a lot of gay friends in my life time and only one became a lover, but it was great cuz we were friends first. it lasted3 years and i think if he had not been so into drugs we would still be together some 23 years later. in fact i still talk to him all the time.

 

[Lewis1]

Yes if 2 factors are involved

1) you guys basically grew up together or know a hell of alot about each other

2) They are unatractive Or

otherwise

One will eventually be attracted to the other firend at some point in time
it may fade but it will happen and by most of your repsonses your not attracted to them or it feels to close so

 

[G-Lexington]

>>>OMG G-Lexington, you gave one of your friends a 4!!! I hope he isn't reading this thread...

I betcha he'd say I was being generous. That said, he's quite smart, and very funny, and is partnered to a great guy.

Lex

 

[KaraBulut]

The issue underlying all of this is what you base your friendships on.

If your friendships are mostly bar-buddies and centered around partying, you'll find that there's alot of incestuous relationships that form.

If your friendships are deep and emotional relationships, there's room for a lot of confused feelings and sometimes things will happen.

In the case of most casual friendships, there may be an underlying attraction or common interests that brought you together but nothing else may come of it. And that's probably the norm for most friendships.

OMG G-Lexington, you gave one of your friends a 4!!! I hope he isn't reading this thread...

I betcha he'd say I was being generous. That said, he's quite smart, and very funny, and is partnered to a great guy.

Lex: I'm offended. You're off the Christmas card list, effective immediately.

 

[fabulouslyghetto]

That's a good question.

On JUB it seems rare, almost every topic/story about "friends" is a story about jacking off together of one fucking the brains outta the other.

I think I've seen maybe three topics since I've been here about two friends doing non-sexual activity.

 

[asian87]

Although I just know few online acquaintances, I noticed that most gays tend to be friends with benefits. It's something I don't get and will never ever do.

For me, friends are just friends, and my friends can't be my fbuddies.

 

[G-Lexington]

>>>On JUB it seems rare, almost every topic/story about "friends" is a story about jacking off together of one fucking the brains outta the other.

Well, it IS a gay porn site. And although we discuss other things, the topic quite often swings back towards the physical. I posted a thread about my friend and I doing some non-sexual stuff together, and (for reasons I don't recall) I posted a photo of him. To which I got a lot of "he's cute" and "I'd do him" posts. Including, if memory serves, one from you, sir Marley-Walker.

>>>Lex: I'm offended. You're off the Christmas card list, effective immediately.

Oh, sorry. Left you off the list.

KB, 40-something gay male. 2.

There you go.

Lex

 

[fabulouslyghetto]

Well, it IS a gay porn site. And although we discuss other things, the topic quite often swings back towards the physical. I posted a thread about my friend and I doing some non-sexual stuff together, and (for reasons I don't recall) I posted a photo of him. To which I got a lot of "he's cute" and "I'd do him" posts. Including, if memory serves, one from you, sir Marley-Walker.

It goes beyond JUB, I just didn't feel like explaining Fuck Circles. But I'm bored and it'll distract me from wanting a cigarette. So...

In my interaction with other homosexuals I see a lot of "fuck circles." They're groups of friends where everyone has pretty much dated everyone, everyone has fucked everybody's boyfriends or ex boyfriend or next boyfriend at one point or another.

My last bf was in a fuck circle. Throughout the course of dating him I realized I couldn't go out in public to a single restaurant, grocery store or gas station without running into somebody he had been intimate with whether a bf or one-night-stand. He's probably got about 100 phone numbers in his phone and I'd venture a guess that he's been physical with well over half of them. Now that we've broken up he's back in the game so to speak, the fuck circle lives on.

JUB was just a quick, easy example.

BTW, your friend IS cute, I'd totally do him.

 

[Lube]

Not sure if it's cause or effect, but my experience is that gay men who have been married to women previously tend to think of friends and fuckbuddies as 2 distinct groups. Meanwhile, men who have been gay their whole life tend to think of them as one and the same.

Just my experiences.