Can I have some advice, please?

[wrestlewatcher]

Hi - This is my first time asking for some advice/an opinion, so forgive me if I am a bit wordy. I have been on this site for a few years now and it is terrific; plus, I have seen all the great help you all have given, so I thought I could share this...

I am having a bit of difficulty. I find women to be attractive, but I also find men to be attractive too. This has been going on for some time now - I am in my 30's. When I see a woman who is attractive (not just physically), I feel attracted. But the same happens with men. I will comment to myself, "Wow, she's cute," but I will also comment to myslef, "wow, he is hot," etc. I saw a guy recently, he was very handsome, but what made him even hotter to me, was he took some things out of his girl's hands while we were waiting on line - he was considerate. I look at guys physically also; I check out guys at the gym, etc. I love wrestling (hence, my screenname). I love it when male wrestlers are exposed in the ring. It is such a turn on. Is this not appropriate, especially if I am in a relationship with a woman?

I am torn because I also find women attractive, it's just that I have been in a slump datingwise. I want a wife, a family, etc. However, I would love to get naked and foolaround with a cute guy. I also would not mind doing that with a girl. Should I let this attraction to men stop me from pursuing things with women? I look at it like this: if I wasn't attracted to men at all, and just attracted to women, and I was dating someone, there is nothing wrong with noticing that another woman is attractive, hot etc. In my case, I also find men attractive, hot, etc. If I am in a relationship, I wouldn't cheat either way.
Am I odd? What is wrong with me???? I would appreciate any feedback. Thank you.

 

[texpatriot]

What's holding you back from pursuing a relationship with either?

I've met several guys that really enjoy some hot guy on guy action, but can't really connect with other guys emotionally.

I guess my question would be which of the two sexes to you "connect" with emotionally?

Physical attraction is just that, you're attracted to someone "physically," even by personality, or character traits.

Why are you trying to pin yourself down here?

 

[StlKj]

There's nothing wrong with you except that you think there's something wrong with you. The longer you sit around questioning yourself, the fewer answers you're going to have. Accept that right now you are attracted to both, and explore those attractions.

 

[wrestlewatcher]

What's holding you back from pursuing a relationship with either?

I've met several guys that really enjoy some hot guy on guy action, but can't really connect with other guys emotionally.

I guess my question would be which of the two sexes to you "connect" with emotionally?

Physical attraction is just that, you're attracted to someone "physically," even by personality, or character traits.

Why are you trying to pin yourself down here?

Thanks for your input....I have not connected with anyone emotionally in a long while. However, I have only connected with women in the past. Putting aside the physical attraction to men, I really haven't had the opportunity to have any connections with men who were not totally straight. This has just been from a distance....physical attractions and non-physical attractions. Maybe I am just pinning myself down. I feel like it is taking me over, like if I meet a girl I would be unfair to her by having these thoughts/feelings. What do you think?

 

[wrestlewatcher]

There's nothing wrong with you except that you think there's something wrong with you. The longer you sit around questioning yourself, the fewer answers you're going to have. Accept that right now you are attracted to both, and explore those attractions.

Thank you...I appreciate that. Like I said in my earlier response, I feel like this is taking me over. Probably because it was the holidays, I am single, and I have noticed a lot of very cute guys lately. Is what I am going though normal? Do you think this is something I need to share with someone if I am in a relationship?

I was recently introduced to a woman who sounds great on the phone, and we are about to make plans very soon to meet. You are saying I should not let this hold me back?

The very thing is this, and forgive me if this comes out wrong: I wish I could pick a guy out, try out a few things, see if we connect, emotionally, physically and just see how I feel. Weird?

 

[Achilleus]

>>>>I wish I could pick a guy out, try out a few things, see if we connect, emotionally, physically and just see how I feel. Weird?

Sounds good, not weird at all.

 

[KaraBulut]

So, the problem is that you have the potential of finding 100% of the human race attractive instead of 50%?

You've mentioned your attractions, fantasies and fetishes. What about dating, relationships, sexual experimentations?

 

[Seasoned]

Your sexyal make up is what it is. As someone who always found men attractive, but was too scared to act on it, let me suggest something. Pursue the guy thing before you meet, fall in love with and marry a woman. I did that. I'm glad I have children, but I did a disservice to myself and my ex-wife. We don't have to be in a hetero relationship to have kids anymore. Take care of yourself first.

 

[fetaby]

Yeah, you are in an unenviable position... usually there is a tipping point in either direction that will help guide you towards a partner that is going to be what you ultimately want,

keep in mind though that desires will flare, and you will experience a "craving" for what it is you are not with...

and as has been mentioned by the other posters, there is no need for you to jump into the mold of a hetero or homo sexual relationship,

Hell, who knows, you may end up in a throuple with a guy and a girl, each loving and fucking each other as the mood suits 'em.

You never can tell what all is out there.

 

[wrestlewatcher]

So, the problem is that you have the potential of finding 100% of the human race attractive instead of 50%?

You've mentioned your attractions, fantasies and fetishes. What about dating, relationships, sexual experimentations?

Well, I have only dated and been in relationships with women. My only experimentation was some guy on guy wrestling.

 

[wrestlewatcher]

Your sexyal make up is what it is. As someone who always found men attractive, but was too scared to act on it, let me suggest something. Pursue the guy thing before you meet, fall in love with and marry a woman. I did that. I'm glad I have children, but I did a disservice to myself and my ex-wife. We don't have to be in a hetero relationship to have kids anymore. Take care of yourself first.

You have a point...I just wish I could find someone. I would not want to be misleading to him either...but man oh man, would it be nice to have some romantic contact. It just seems that lately I have been noticing more and more these hot guys. Crazy!

 

[wrestlewatcher]

Yeah, you are in an unenviable position... usually there is a tipping point in either direction that will help guide you towards a partner that is going to be what you ultimately want,

keep in mind though that desires will flare, and you will experience a "craving" for what it is you are not with...

and as has been mentioned by the other posters, there is no need for you to jump into the mold of a hetero or homo sexual relationship,

Hell, who knows, you may end up in a throuple with a guy and a girl, each loving and fucking each other as the mood suits 'em.

You never can tell what all is out there.

Thank you....I think I need a little experimentation. Where and how???

When I have been in relationships (like I said, only with women) - I love it, until something happened to ruin it. I love the romance, the contact - everything.

I feel like I need to try this other avenue out, without letting the whole world know!

Please keep the suggestions coming...I appreciate this from everyone. I am feeling better that I talked this out. I wish you all could be here. You are in a way...

 

[fetaby]

Nah, it's not crazy, you're just horny...

If you want a guy go get one... there are some to be found.

More to the point, you still have plenty of time to get all the details of how this life is supposed to work figured out... just make sure you're enjoying it as it goes by...

 

[fetaby]

Thank you....I think I need a little experimentation. Where and how???

When I have been in relationships (like I said, only with women) - I love it, until something happened to ruin it. I love the romance, the contact - everything.

I feel like I need to try this other avenue out, without letting the whole world know!

Please keep the suggestions coming...I appreciate this from everyone. I am feeling better that I talked this out. I wish you all could be here. You are in a way...

I'm here for ya... my man is off at his house for the night, long story...

But I'm gonna just jump the gun a bit and say, no matter how many guys you try, until you wrap your head around the fact that it is gay sex and it is frowned upon, and you in turn are frowned upon, but you don't give a shit, cause you know it feels good, and something that feels so right can't be bad, until you get there, you're gonna be really introspective about it all, questioning if what you're doing is right, ethical, moral, blah de blah... or maybe not, maybe I'm projecting my own coming out process onto your life, that happens with us sometimes...

so tell us what you want...

 

[wrestlewatcher]

Nah, it's not crazy, you're just horny...

If you want a guy go get one... there are some to be found.

More to the point, you still have plenty of time to get all the details of how this life is supposed to work figured out... just make sure you're enjoying it as it goes by...

Yeah, I think you are right...I am pretty horny these days. And I want some experimentation. It was just tearing me up.

 

[fetaby]

well then unleash the beast there tiger... have fun and play safe...

 

[wrestlewatcher]

I'm here for ya... my man is off at his house for the night, long story...

But I'm gonna just jump the gun a bit and say, no matter how many guys you try, until you wrap your head around the fact that it is gay sex and it is frowned upon, and you in turn are frowned upon, but you don't give a shit, cause you know it feels good, and something that feels so right can't be bad, until you get there, you're gonna be really introspective about it all, questioning if what you're doing is right, ethical, moral, blah de blah... or maybe not, maybe I'm projecting my own coming out process onto your life, that happens with us sometimes...

so tell us what you want...

You have a pretty good way of looking at this also!

You ask what I want?

While I do not necessarily want sex with a man, I would love to meet a cutie and just give this a try....I see these hot guys lately and I just want to start ripping clothes off. And I want someone to do the same to me. I see some of these guys and picture them naked, and just wonder what it would be like. I know what I like, and I guess that maybe, another guys would like the same - touching, kissing, etc.



Please keep the suggestions coming. Before I go to bed tonight, I want to have some closure... Thank you all so much!

 

[wrestlewatcher]

well then unleash the beast there tiger... have fun and play safe...

Easier said than done. Where oh where do I even begin??? I would jsut like some contact! I want to be sure.

 

[fetaby]

You have a pretty good way of looking at this also!

You ask what I want?

While I do not necessarily want sex with a man, I would love to meet a cutie and just give this a try....I see these hot guys lately and I just want to start ripping clothes off. And I want someone to do the same to me. I see some of these guys and picture them naked, and just wonder what it would be like. I know what I like, and I guess that maybe, another guys would like the same - touching, kissing, etc.



Please keep the suggestions coming. Before I go to bed tonight, I want to have some closure... Thank you all so much!

What you're describing is the good parts... and when you do have the sex, get ready for the excellent parts... sex is lil more than stroking your dick against something and reaching the point of ejaculation... love is the emotional connection and intimacy that comes with it... know the difference... do you want to have sex with a guy, or make love with a guy? that would be the question I would ask myself... and that would be the end goal of the plan you formulate... if it's just sex for sex sake.. jump on any number of dating sites and go "shopping" if it's for love, start making some genuine connections within the LGBT community, we know each other and love to play matchmaker... and it's easier to get play when you're not alone... wing men/women come in handy...

But do not, think that you're gonna have a revelation in one night... it's possible but check this,,,

the mark of a good plan is that it allows for it's inevitable failure, and compensates...

ultimatums are good for performance based tasks, like work junk, but when you're head and emotions are in the mix? not a good place to go,

what happens if you can't get the resolution you seek? are you now a failure? best to not even go that route... yeah.

And excuse the typos.

 

[wrestlewatcher]

What you're describing is the good parts... and when you do have the sex, get ready for the excellent parts... sex is lil more than stroking your dick against something and reaching the point of ejaculation... love is the emotional connection and intimacy that comes with it... know the difference... do you want to have sex with a guy, or make love with a guy? that would be the question I would ask myself... and that would be the end goal of the plan you formulate... if it's just sex for sex sake.. jump on any number of dating sites and go "shopping" if it's for love, start making some genuine connections within the LGBT community, we know each other and love to play matchmaker... and it's easier to get play when you're not alone... wing men/women come in handy...

But do not, think that you're gonna have a revelation in one night... it's possible but check this,,,

the mark of a good plan is that it allows for it's inevitable failure, and compensates...

ultimatums are good for performance based tasks, like work junk, but when you're head and emotions are in the mix? not a good place to go,

what happens if you can't get the resolution you seek? are you now a failure? best to not even go that route... yeah.

And excuse the typos.

Thanks very much...right now, some physical action would not be so bad...thank you for your thoughts.

Thanks to everyone for their advice. You will never know how much I appreciate it. I feel so much better just expressing these thoughts. I would still like to hear suggestions and I will definitely respond tomorrow, but this is what I have gotten out of all your responses:

1. There is nothing wrong with how I feel.
2. There is nothing wrong with me for wanting some guy on guy action.
3. I should do some exploring with guys (even though I don't know where to start - literally).
4. I should enjoy life and not be totally bogged down with this - I should be having some fun with it.
5. I need to get a man and start some experimenting.

All in all, thanks to your responses, I feel better, and that I would not be deceiving a woman in a relationship that I would be in. I just wish that super cute gay guy at the gym, or around the corner, or in the store, or wherever would make himself known in some miraculous way so I could make the first step with this....

Thanks again...hope to hear more!