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Can I say AWKWARD!!

Jo-thin

Jo-thin

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Hey Guys! wow it's been awhile since a posted! Almost a year :wave:

Well I have a big issue :\
Tonight my boyfriend stayed the night and the family doesn't know we're dating or even know I dig guys, so he's been spending the night about every weekend and we sleep in the living room because at my moms house, I have no bedroom of my own! So its 3am in the morning and me and my BF are watching TV and talking about our future so we just held each other face to face and I look up and my mom was peeking!!!! #-o she said "wow _____ (name)" and I said "oh we have some talking to do" and she just goes back in her room !!!! My bf kept apologizing but for what!? My heart started to pound fast I'm panicing, I don't know how to handle this! :confused: So an hour later 4am she was awake walking in the kitchen (which is basically in the livingroom) and I was acting asleep, I started to sweat soooooo bad :cry: couldn't even breathe!

I'm so deep in the closet that I want to lie to her and say "oh we were cold so we shared the same covers" why!? I can't admit what I am or what I like! I can't even admit it here on the forums in front of people similar to me! Thats how bad it is :\ well my mom went to work this morning and I don't know how to confront her this makes me so depressed making me ask god "why?! why am I like this, people need to accept and live with 2 guys/gals together" Suicide thoughts even run through my head ](*,) maybe I'm over reacting but this is all new to me! I'm not suspected so she seemed so shocked!! :help:

Any advice or stories about coming out to families?! I'd love to hear or read :D
 
Oh you're going to become closer and laugh about this later. she's just as uncomfortable. Honestly, this is really a good thing.. you needed a big event to force you to face your sexual orientation.
 
OK even if you can't admit it to anyone there or in here, do not make things worse by actively lying.

Your mom knows, no amount of "cover" (lol pun) story is gonna change that - and you'll make things more awkward by inventing tales both of you know are lies, but both of you have to pretend to believe. This will retard a resolution. Down that path lies madness, pink elephants, and 500lb gorillas.

You're not alone here, I've been there, at one point I was so freaked out about being gay that I couldn't even say the word. You will get over this, things will get better, but it will take time.

Lastly, do nothing immediately, you've been dealing with this all your life, your family hasn't, give here time to assimilate the information. If you push things, you might push her into saying things that she hasn't really thought through and might not otherwise have said.

Plus you need to think this through, PLAN out what you want to do, how you want this to go, then put your ducks in a row before you act.
 
BTW the first time is always the hardest, and you get to deal with parents - which is also always the hardest, so look at it this way, once you've done this, the rest is cake.
 
Your boyfriend has been spending the night "about every weekend". In the living room. With you. Since you have no room of your own at your parents' house.

Do you REALLY think your mother is that clueless?

You are not deep in the closet. You are deeply in denial, but you're not deep in the closet. People can and DO accept two men living together. Your mother has accepted that it's been happening in her living room nearly every weekend, has she not?

Lex
 
You'd rather commit suicide than admit you are gay?

This is a wake-up call for yourself. Ultimately, it doesn't matter what your mother thinks or if anyone accepts you for who you are. This is about you coming to terms with a major reality of life. You can't expect others to be OK with it, if you aren't.

If you are old enough to have a bf, you are old enough to own up to it. You can do it!! Good luck.
 
Um, what Lex said, and if you believe they have no idea you're definitely wrong, in this case they know before you seem to want to know.
 
My current partner and I have been together for 27 years.

Everyone in our family has accepted us and love him dearly.

It can happen. Seriously.

You can be happy.

As well as gay.
 
Well said guys and thanks!
I still don't know what to say to her though :\ I haven't talked to her, she's still at work, and I feel foolish because I told her that I was talking to this one girl and we're goin to prom together (which is true)
 
Keep breathing and keep telling yourself that feelings come and go. The hardest person to come out to can be oneself. You are lucky to have a bf. How old are you?

I am going to trust that your mom will rise to the occasion. I'm gay and a parent and I want and need to offer support and encouragement to my children.

If things seem a little bumpy picture yourself in a giant innertube and go with the flow. Things will eventally get calmer. Get rid of any idea to harm yourself. If you can't, please call a hotline for help.
 
Yeah, even if she professes that she had no idea, she must.

I mean, why was she peeking at 3 a.m.? ;)

It'll probably go a lot better than you think. And, yeah, don't lie about it. Just face up to it. It's OK, really. (*8*)
 
Be there when she gets home from work. Tell her you need to talk and have the dreaded conversation. Get it out in the open and move on. She obviously knows and any lying would be an insult. I know it's not easy but once it's done you will feel much better. Be open and honest. Answer her questions and tell her you are the same person you have always been. Your just not going to hide any longer. Tell her how much you love her and that this doesn't change that.

Good luck and remember we are here. A lot of us have been down this road and know it's not easy. We also know that this is a big bump in the road. Get past it and move on.

Steven
 
First of all, at least she did catch you having sex. That woulda been awkward.

You didnt give your dating background. But if you havent really dated girls your parents generally have a strong suspicion that you are gay. Even if you have they prolly know anyway. It's amazing how many gay people think no one knows that they are gay but pretty much everyone knows. Often people know but they just dont know how to address it and dont wanna make you uncomfortable. Chances are people around you have already come to terms with your sexuality and are just waiting for you.
 
^ Totally what he said.
 
sorry for no update guys, busy busy busy ! Well my mom didn't bring it up everything seems normal! I let my BF stay the night again just to show that I really love this guy and gettin caught wont have him stop coming here! Right now one of my best buds is asleep I had a cruch on him back in the day I posted about XD

well about everyone knowing, I came to it with a couple of people and I honestly don't care who knows I just don't like to be confronyed on it, I tend to struggle saying what I want to say, even if they say "oh thats cool man" I still will be shaky :\ but thats the word Im lookin for "in denial" I really am. Such a major issue
 
Thats a bit weird that she hasnt said anything. But you have to talk about it if she won't. It's only gonna continue to drive you crazy the more you put it off and it will get worse.

Maybe yo can give your mom a few more days to say something before you do. But tbh if your not paying rent you dont have the right to have whomever you want in her house or have sex in her house. So she does have the authority to ductate what goes on in her house. Be carefil how u broach the subject.
 
aijalon18 said:
Thats a bit weird that she hasnt said anything. But you have to talk about it if she won't. It's only gonna continue to drive you crazy the more you put it off and it will get worse.

Maybe yo can give your mom a few more days to say something before you do. But tbh if your not paying rent you dont have the right to have whomever you want in her house or have sex in her house. So she does have the authority to ductate what goes on in her house. Be carefil how u broach the subject.
Click to expand...

Very true,
 
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