Can men provide emotional support?

[oralsex]

I have blogged about this but I wanted to post it in the threads for some reponses. This all stems from a bad relationship, and then a bad date.

The issue is that I want a relationship before I have sex with someone. I want to make love to my guy. I want to be in love. When I was on a date this guy pulled off to some back road and he started feeling me up. Well I did the same and he told me to put my seat back. I really did not want to and he did it for me. He wanted to blow me and he begged me to blow him. I told him no. I was fine with some mutual jerking but that’s as far as I wanted it to go on our first date and I told him that.

The road we were on was getting busy and he drove away. The whole time in the car he never kissed me. It was like all he was looking for was for some hook up. Before we dated all he touted was how he wanted an actual relationship. Long story short he made up a fake emergency and ended our date early.

What I want to know is, are their any guys out there who care about how their mate feels, emotionally? I want a boyfriend that wants me to be happy, one who cares if I am doing ok, hugs me, and loves me. Are there any guys who can provide emotional support? I want something long term and it is about to drive me crazy because it seems like I am the only one. It looks like all gay men want is sex sex and more sex. Sure I love sex, I’m a man, but I want to make love to my partner, I want to know that my partner will be there with his arms wrapped around me in the morning because he knows it will make us more connected to each other and not because he thinks he will get some in the afternoon. One who will give me a hug when I have had a bad day. One that we can look into each others eyes with passion and desire and know that I want to make love to him and he wants to make love to me. I want to have sex with a man that will do anything and everything to me so that I feel good and in return I would do anything he desires to make him feel good (sexually). I want to please him and I want him to want to please me. Is this to much to ask for?

 

[Muscles4daze]

I have blogged about this but I wanted to post it in the threads for some reponses. This all stems from a bad relationship, and then a bad date.

The issue is that I want a relationship before I have sex with someone. I want to make love to my guy. I want to be in love. When I was on a date this guy pulled off to some back road and he started feeling me up. Well I did the same and he told me to put my seat back. I really did not want to and he did it for me. He wanted to blow me and he begged me to blow him. I told him no. I was fine with some mutual jerking but that’s as far as I wanted it to go on our first date and I told him that.

The road we were on was getting busy and he drove away. The whole time in the car he never kissed me. It was like all he was looking for was for some hook up. Before we dated all he touted was how he wanted an actual relationship. Long story short he made up a fake emergency and ended our date early.

What I want to know is, are their any guys out there who care about how their mate feels, emotionally? I want a boyfriend that wants me to be happy, one who cares if I am doing ok, hugs me, and loves me. Are there any guys who can provide emotional support? I want something long term and it is about to drive me crazy because it seems like I am the only one. It looks like all gay men want is sex sex and more sex. Sure I love sex, I’m a man, but I want to make love to my partner, I want to know that my partner will be there with his arms wrapped around me in the morning because he knows it will make us more connected to each other and not because he thinks he will get some in the afternoon. One who will give me a hug when I have had a bad day. One that we can look into each others eyes with passion and desire and know that I want to make love to him and he wants to make love to me. I want to have sex with a man that will do anything and everything to me so that I feel good and in return I would do anything he desires to make him feel good (sexually). I want to please him and I want him to want to please me. Is this to much to ask for?

Well there are many women who have the same issue with straight men, to be honest I feel gay men are more compassionate that straight men, maybe it's just the men you have dealt with in the past. I consider myself to be very caring person, even when it comes to my friends.

 

[Luka]

Hmmmm I seem to have the same problem as you......Not one of the "dates" I've been on have eneded up without having sex.....that is oral or anal. its stupid.. I want a guy who wants me for whats inside and not just on the outside.

 

[AngelFromAbove]

I have blogged about this but I wanted to post it in the threads for some reponses. This all stems from a bad relationship, and then a bad date.

The issue is that I want a relationship before I have sex with someone. I want to make love to my guy. I want to be in love. When I was on a date this guy pulled off to some back road and he started feeling me up. Well I did the same and he told me to put my seat back. I really did not want to and he did it for me. He wanted to blow me and he begged me to blow him. I told him no. I was fine with some mutual jerking but that’s as far as I wanted it to go on our first date and I told him that.

The road we were on was getting busy and he drove away. The whole time in the car he never kissed me. It was like all he was looking for was for some hook up. Before we dated all he touted was how he wanted an actual relationship. Long story short he made up a fake emergency and ended our date early.

What I want to know is, are their any guys out there who care about how their mate feels, emotionally? I want a boyfriend that wants me to be happy, one who cares if I am doing ok, hugs me, and loves me. Are there any guys who can provide emotional support? I want something long term and it is about to drive me crazy because it seems like I am the only one. It looks like all gay men want is sex sex and more sex. Sure I love sex, I’m a man, but I want to make love to my partner, I want to know that my partner will be there with his arms wrapped around me in the morning because he knows it will make us more connected to each other and not because he thinks he will get some in the afternoon. One who will give me a hug when I have had a bad day. One that we can look into each others eyes with passion and desire and know that I want to make love to him and he wants to make love to me. I want to have sex with a man that will do anything and everything to me so that I feel good and in return I would do anything he desires to make him feel good (sexually). I want to please him and I want him to want to please me. Is this to much to ask for?

Well, I looked at your profile and you're 23 right? Many men our age are not exactly in relationship mode. Unfortunately, that's the reality.

That does not mean that you should give up, but just be aware of this idea. Obviously, he was not the guy for you and it was better that you found out sooner than later. To answer your question, there are men who can provide emotional support.

 

[Muscles4daze]

Hmmmm I seem to have the same problem as you......Not one of the "dates" I've been on have eneded up without having sex.....that is oral or anal. its stupid.. I want a guy who wants me for whats inside and not just on the outside.

Well you can always turn down the booty, It takes two to tango man.

 

[Luka]

Well you can always turn down the booty, It takes two to tango man.

LOL ya I know, ive stopped hooking up, im pretty proud of myself

 

[G-Lexington]

>>>Not one of the "dates" I've been on have eneded up without having sex.....that is oral or anal. its stupid.. I want a guy who wants me for whats inside and not just on the outside.

It sounds like they ARE what's interested in what's inside. Mainly, what they want inside your mouth and ass.

OP, you're interested in having a relationship - a non-sexual-first relationship. First off, make sure you're shopping in the right venues. Bars aren't a great spot. Manhunt and craigslist are fine for busting your nut, not so good for finding a long-term boyfriend.

Secondly, be more firm (ahem) about things. I won't speak for others, but as far as I'm concerned, stating "I'll only mutual jerk-off on the first date" doesn't exactly put across the idea that you're looking for an emotionally connection. Why not put the physical stuff aside completely? Maybe a hug at the end of the night if you really like him. But concentrate on seeing if you mesh on a mental and emotional level first.

(Disclaimer - hook-ups are NOT bad, people who have sex on the first date are NOT awful people, and gay guys have found wonderful relationships with guys they've met and fucked the very first night at gay bars, bathhouses and craigslist. Your mileage may vary, void where prohibited, Barbie doesn't really skate but you can make her skate.)

Lex

 

[darkdreamerx]

I'd definitely say men can give emotional support. In fact, me and my boyfriend often just lay in bed cuddling for 2 hours.. just resting with each other, talking, whispering cute things . Usually I ask him: "do you want to have sex?" and hes always saying "up to you". We both enjoy cuddling just as much as the sex. Yeah, I love him .

Anyways, if my relationship is any example id say YES men can be emotionally supportive. He brought me out of a time of depression that I've been sunk into for 4 years after moving away (parents decision) from all my friends. He's made me feel better than I have in many years.

 

[Eagle653]

No, you are not asking for too much. In fact, you seem rather level-headed and reasonable to me.

I'd have to agree with everything that's been said above. I would also add that you might want to think about how you're meeting men and setting up dates. Nothing you've said flashes red lights of warning in my head, it's just that if this sort of thing happens often, somehow mixed messages are being sent or received.

Dates are tricky interactions, really, and even more so for the first few. Impressions are being formed and boundaries (sometimes invisible) are in place, and expectations are there--but we really don't know where the bar is. Navigating the first few dates is like hitting a moving target.

How do you do it? One way is to structure your time together in a way that pleases you. If you don't want to be hijacked down a deserted road and felt up, then structure the date, and times, so that can't happen. One way to do that is for you to drive, or neither drive and use subways; go to the theater/movie or out to eat. These kinds of dates can end gracefully and without the awkwardness of "what now?"

There are lots of men in your situation and who feel like you do. Hopefully, you will match up with one soon. Good luck!

 

[KingofFaeries]

Good luck finding your Mr. Right. Men can be emotionally supportive, just takes a few Mr. Fuck me's to find the right guy.

 

[chobbs]

Men are emotionally supportive for women, and they can also be emotionally supportive for other men.

Unfortunately, society forces homosexuals into a world where they destroy themselves. They focus on what society deems wrong; they dwell on the physical manifestation of the thing that makes them outcasts. Gay men, in many cases, just want to fuck, and they lose sight of the rest of love.

However, that is just a fluke in our system, and it should mean nothing to two men who love each other. Nothing is perfect, but your love for another person, even a man, can be remarkable. You are capable of this, and if you can do it, so can others. Just believe in yourself enough to do so!

 

[sunoftheskye]

Well there are many women who have the same issue with straight men, to be honest I feel gay men are more compassionate that straight men, maybe it's just the men you have dealt with in the past. I consider myself to be very caring person, even when it comes to my friends.

I agree.

And to the OP, there are plenty of guys out there who are looking for an emotional connection. But just like with ANY person who's in the dating scene, it's about weeding through the bad ones.

 

[Persian89]

I didn't use to.
I started with my ex, he had too much of a gorgeous smile for me to be selfish and not caring.

 

[jJoEd77]

I hope so!!! I've never been in a relationship before but I want to be. The only thing I'm worried about is that everyone seems to just want sex. If you look on craigs list in the men seeking men, all it is is hook ups. occasionally you'll see just people who want to hang out.
if you look on the men seeking women, most of them are actually looking for a relationship, not sex
so i'm concerned but i guess their are people who can provide emotional support like you oralsex

 

[sunoftheskye]

I hope so!!! I've never been in a relationship before but I want to be. The only thing I'm worried about is that everyone seems to just want sex. If you look on craigs list in the men seeking men, all it is is hook ups. occasionally you'll see just people who want to hang out.
if you look on the men seeking women, most of them are actually looking for a relationship, not sex
so i'm concerned but i guess their are people who can provide emotional support like you oralsex

Sweetie, most of the people on craigslist are closeted.

Additionally, straight men know that they're unlikely to attract any women if they proposition them outright for sex.

 

[Persian89]

I hope so!!! I've never been in a relationship before but I want to be. The only thing I'm worried about is that everyone seems to just want sex. If you look on craigs list in the men seeking men, all it is is hook ups. occasionally you'll see just people who want to hang out.
if you look on the men seeking women, most of them are actually looking for a relationship, not sex
so i'm concerned but i guess their are people who can provide emotional support like you oralsex

What's wrong with just sex >.<
You can get emotional support from friends/family.

 

[sunoftheskye]

What's wrong with just sex >.<
You can get emotional support from friends/family.

Lmao, wow...

Most people have the urge to find a COMPANION in life, and those two people are each other's support system.

Friends and family already have their own companions, and while they're very helpful, at the end of the day when you leave your parents house, or your friends' houses, you're going home to an empty bed.

 

[Persian89]

There are two reasons to go to the bed.
1)Sleep or rest.
2)Fuck.

Thats pretty much it...

 

[Rimmer]

Well, I'm in my 17th year with the same person... for what that's worth.

 

[KingofFaeries]

Craigslist in the men seeking men section is generally not a good way to find a life mate. It's essentially the same as going to a brothel to find a life mate. It's highly unlikely that you will find someone. If you however look at the craigslist misc. romance under m4m you can find some very sweet and caring guys. And if you kick in your predatory instincts now is the time to be checking that section since people are feeling lonely before valentines. i.e. more people are posting and reading that section than they do most of the year.

Some better places to meet guys who can be emotionally what you want, would be a gay coffee house, or at least a gay friendly coffee house. Don't like coffee but love the outdoors join a gay sports group most cities have at least 3 teams in various sports. Don't like exercise or sunlight.... chubby vampire sorry random thought, anyway join a gay bookclub. Yahoo groups can be very helpful in getting a group organized if there isn't one in your area.
If you like none of the above start one. If you like playing xbox 360 and little else, hop on yahoo pick and xbox game and make your group about that game. Advertise the group on craigslist and other places. Print up flyers post em around the neighborhood or downtown. Go to a college campus and put it up on a bullentin board. See if one of those other gay places I suggested above will put up your flyer.... and not douse you with holy water sorry can't get that image outta my head.

Ta da

If you just don't like people... sorry my suggestions probably aren't of much help