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Can someone tell me how gay people supposed to act?

I'm very masculine, I have a deep voice and don't sound gay and all that stuff, most people don't assume I'm gay, but I'm not "acting" it's just the way I am. On the other hand, sometimes when I'm around a gay friend, I like to behave like a total diva, like a total stereotype of a what a gay guy is supposed to be like, and THAT to me, feels like an act, it doesn't feel natural, it feels forced, and I can't even pull it off too well but I do it cause it's funny. So, don't ACT just BE and if that means others say you aren't being real fuck em.
 
You have a good gasp of what to do. Just be yourself.

Your feminine friend is the one who is delusional.
 
Wow dude. It sounds like all your friends are a bunch of nazi queens. And I'm not using queen in a bad way. I have some queeny gay friends, I love them, they're great. I think that's how they naturally feel and that's fine. It's easy to tell when someone is "trying" to be a fab queeny gay boy. It's just as bad as when guys try to be macho. But there's no doubt you're right that some gay guys act that way cause they think that's how they have to act. They're also being totally ignorant if they think all gay people should act like that. Wtf? Are we all supposed to just 'sit around and bump pussies'? Where do they think studs, jocks, boyish masculine twink types, and bears and daddies come in? There are TONS of gay guys that aren't totally femme. If we were all femme, wtf would that be? Would all the femme guys just be attracted to straight guys (now who is self loathing?)
 
^That brings up another interesting point. I think it is so bizarre how many feminine guys say they only like "straight-acting guys". It seems like they are the ones more obsessed with straightness than anyone else.
 
I had so many people not believe me when I told them I was gay, well, when they found out I was gay (some girls spread it round like wild fire which kind of did the job for me). I personally don't see why some gay guys are feminine, but I'm no person to judge. It really piss's me off though when some gay guys really live up to the stereotype and make the rest of us look sleezy or fake because we don't "act" the way society thinks we should.
 
Deandbn said:
I agree with rareboy. I also act like me (myself).

I also have almost no feminine traits. I dont talk funny, i dont walk funny, and i defo dont dress funny. I dont do this on purpose, its just how i am.

So my advice is just act normal or be true to yourself and your personality however that turns out to be for you.

Yeah be your own man, and be proud of who you are!!
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So other gay guys talk , walk, and dress funny, but you're completely normal?

That's pretty offensive.
 
Well, good for you being yourself. That's it. Maybe the people who said that all gay people are effeminate were kidding? I'm not sure.... but when you're gay, there's no one way of doing or liking things. Individuality don't have boundaries.
 
Let me put it this way - I don't CARE how gay men are supposed to act. I'm not interested in acting like anything but me. I don't give a flying rat's ass if I'm conforming to a stereotype or breaking it. :)

Lex
 
Be yourself. You're gay. How you act is how you act. Your "friends" are clearly ignorantly stereotyping you. Educate them.
 
>>>Your "friends" are clearly ignorantly stereotyping you.

No doubt. But it's important to make sure he doesn't judge them for how THEY act. Be it totally natural or a complete fake persona - let them be who they want to be, too.

Lex
 
aijalon18 said:
Thanks for the responses. I was on another thread here on JUB in Entertainment a little while back and a poster said the same thing. That gay men are supposed to be feminine and everyone else in the thread was agreed with him. They totally shot me down and said I was wrong. I thought there was maybe some rule I didnt know about.

And I actually started to question maybe I am self-loathing. The biggest thing people say is how most my friends are straight guys and I have no girl friends. I have gay guy friends too, but there are way more straight guys in the world so it's natural to interact more. I have never liked hanging out with girls. I just dont enjoy it too much. Yea we both like guys but I dont feel like i deal with guys the same way girls do.
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Like others posted above, be yourself! What the hell is the point of fighting for gay rights just to jump into someone else's pre conceptions. And don't worry about it. Over time, you'll see many folks wearing different masks, for a lot of reasons. Just remember, it takes guts to be real queen - they were the first to fight at Stonewall - I know ancient history.

I'm a 46 yo gay man who never did the "shopping with the girls," thing, I watch football every sunday and I've gotten plenty of double takes when I tell folks I'm gay. In addition, one of my best friends (nearly 30 yrs) is a big ol' queen who insists on feminizing all his friends name, (Steve is Stevie, Jim is Miss Jennie, etc....) so I can tell you, we are all part of the same family.
 
aijalon18 said:
Can someone tell me how gay people supposed to act?
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With courtesy and respect to other people, with dignity and honesty, and good manners. Just like everyone else is supposed to act.

Ask your friends if gay acting straight men who like fashion are self loathing and putting on an act.
 
aijalon18 said:
A friend of a friend who is gay and feminine told me I am "straight-acting" b/c i don't talk like him, I'm not into women's fashion, don't have female friends, and don't listen to "gay" music. Basically I put on an act to pretend to be straight.

I told him I was just being myself and didnt wake up each day practicing how to talk, dress, and "act" straight. Most people think I'm straight but some people think I'm gay and I really dont care. I feel like I'm being my natural self.

But this kid and his 2 friends who joined in said that naturally gay men are supposed to feminine, and guys that are not are just acting.

They also said I'm self loathing b/c I dont like drag queens. I dont hate them or say theyre disgusting. But I have no interest in going to drag shows or watching Rupaul's Drag Race.

I know there's not a handbook on how gays should act but I think this is bullshit. And personally I think some gay guys act feminine b/c they think that's what being gay is. i think being gay is whatever you want. But so many older gay people tell me otherwise. Sorry if this sounds so confusing. I'm confused myself. I'd love any sor
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I can't tell you how all gay men should act, but I can tell you how I act.

I wear suits to work, a blazer and bow tie for fun. I am polite, courteous to all and say my please and thank yous. My friends call me a typical New England preppy, but I thought that they were all straight!

What I am trying to say is this infamous quote:
"Be who you are and say what you mean; because those to mind, don't matter. And those who matter, don't mind."
 
everything has been stated already, anyway I'd like to add that you should tell them to screw off there's no gay manual or any other shit like that.

just be yourself :)
 
biggadick said:
everything has been stated already, anyway I'd like to add that you should tell them to screw off there's no gay manual or any other shit like that.

just be yourself :)
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Agreed! Better yet, just walk away and keep on doing what you do. It will leave them puzzling.

A
 
It depends if you want your homosexuality to be the core of your personality, then you should act as effeminate as you possibly can. Otherwise, if you're being yourself than continue to be so.

I'm fairly "straight" acting, although I have my camp guy moments but overall my sexuality doesn't define my personality and people who say I don't "act" gay need to update their attitudes.
 
You know, there were times a while back when I used to ask myself the same thing: should i express my gay side in a feminine or masculine manner, without actually drawing too much attention to myself? But after realizing that people were going to speculate regardless of my very own actions and mannerisms, I just decided to be myself...which in the end, ended up being a mixed bag of androgeny. It's all about taking it day by day, being who you want to be that day and expressing it in a way that makes you feel comfortable.
 
dont question yourself just be who you are naturally. you cant please anyone but yourself. jsut from your post i think you are an amazing guy and prob a cool person to hang out with.
 
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