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Can you be 'Openly' gay where you live?

G-Lexington said:
In the 1990s, Colorado earned the nickname "The Hate State" for passing legislation against ANY "special rights for homosexuals". (It didn't last.) At the time, I was working in an auto parts warehouse - not exactly the sort of work environment one would consider "supportive".

I came out anyway.

And everybody was fine with it. A few people had questions. I would occasionally get jokes about it, but they were on the same level as making fun of Pat's chronic lateness or Bill's terrible taste in clothes.

Since then, I've lived out and proud everywhere, and never had any problems. (And yes - the "no special rights for gays" legislation was overturned.)

Lex
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Colorado has come quite a long way since, what was it, Amendment 2 or Prop 7 or whatever. We've (finally) got legal marriage, one of our US Representatives is VERY openly gay (he and his partner just had a kid, too), we've got legal recreational pot, too!

However, Colorado is a very 'purple' state--the urban metroplex surrounding Denver is pretty OK for being Gay, but the further out you go, the more difficult it is. Perhaps OK in some of the mountain resort towns (after all, Gays have statistically larger disposable incomes) but out on the Eastern Plains and the more conservative Western Slope areas I can't imagine people being quite as 'open' as in the City. Gays exist everywhere but the level of openness is quite varied.

Now to answer the OP question: Boulder County (where I live) has been a little schizophrenic for as long as I can remember about homosexuality. In Boulder proper (and the County Seat), gays have been quite open for a long time, influenced by the presence of the University of Colorado. Boulder is commonly referred to as 'The Peoples Republic of Boulder' (12 square miles surrounded by reality), they haven't had a proper gay bar since the 70's. The County Clerk issued the FIRST gay marriage certificate in the US in 1975! (Sad story here: http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/40...colo-remains-remarkable/ar-AAbgMkN?srcref=rss). Surrounding towns, though, including mine, are a bit different although changing rapidly. Two men or women living together is pretty much matter of fact, and I've never had a problem. We don't walk around hand in hand (we both find it nauseating anyway) but live pretty openly. During a block party a couple of years back, we only got second place in the pie baking contest (it was judged by the Mayor). It is what it is.
 
Yes, although I don't have anyone here to be openly gay in public with. :(
 
yup. even in bumfuck ontario I can live as an open homo with a partner of over 30 years and be fully accepted in the general community.
 
zombiekiller said:
We don't really have a choice considering all our neighbors know 2 guys are living in our home.
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Statler_and_Waldorf.jpg
 
zombiekiller said:
We don't really have a choice considering all our neighbors know 2 guys are living in our home.
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Living openly means you have told these neighbors that you are a couple. It's not them wondering, guessing or assuming you a couple just because you live together. Lots of people live together who are not romantically involved.
 
Co-workers, family, friends and neighbours like/love us because we're us. Nothing more nothing less.

To take it to the extreme, we have noticed when we visit a gay friendly resort that we are often getting the best tables in the restaurants, maybe a little on display to make their point, but it's all good.
 
sixthson said:
Living openly means you have told these neighbors that you are a couple. It's not them wondering, guessing or assuming you a couple just because you live together. Lots of people live together who are not romantically involved.
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I don't volunteer the info because there are still a lot of straight people out there that think any mention of "boyfriend" or gay couple equals us cramming our sexuality down their throats.

Like I've said elsewhere, I'm not a hero. I'm not looking to become the next Rosa Park or that lesbian couple that sued the wedding cake bakery. I'm just a guy trying to live a life. Think of me more as a coward.
 
MakeDigitalLove said:
Yes, but people usually think I'm his son.
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I know this as well - I quite often get uncle as well.

sixthson said:
Living openly means you have told these neighbors that you are a couple. It's not them wondering, guessing or assuming you a couple just because you live together. Lots of people live together who are not romantically involved.
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Meh, I don't know about this. I never talk to the neighbours, so it's not like they would know for sure. If they asked I would say, but they don't. I don't think I am somehow living in secret just because I don't talk to my neighbours!
 
I've often said that being "out" involves two factors.

1. The people you interact with on a regular basis know.
2. You don't care who else knows.

It's the first part that can be a bit nebulous. Definitely, my family knows and my friends know. The lesbian couple two doors down knows. Does the guy next door know? No idea. He's lived there for two years, and I've literally exchanged less than fifteen words with him. If he's seen me with my partner, he probably knows. But I certainly haven't made any effort to hide it.

I'm assuming the mailman knows, based on a few things I get in the mail. The couple who owns the nice restaurant down the street knows, since we've had anniversary dinners there. Does the butcher know? No clue. I don't talk much to him other than to order meat. But if we got to talking, I'd have no trouble saying "My boyfriend is planning a barbecue wedding reception, so we're going to need a lot of ribs" or something.

Lex
 
vacancy3 said:
Gay does not define me or how I act.

I'm normal....I was born this way.

No one gives me shit about who I am, how I act or whom I'm with.
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I quite agree with Vacancy3 on this..

I have lived an openly gay life for the last 30 years or so.. and lived with my bf for the last 28.. When I say openly gay life, I think i really mean normally gay life.. specifically I dont tell people unless they ask.. if they ask vaguely i answer vaguely.. if they ask directly.. then i answer directly.. but most people dont ask because they would never know unless i told them, but i dont give a shit if they know or not.. its their loss if they dont want to know me.. I have had one or 2 customers in my business take their business elswhere when they realise i am gay.. specially in butch industries... but again that happens everywhere for all sorts of other reasons so it means nothing in particular.. in life you win some and you lose some.. thats how it goes. cest la vie..
 
G-Lexington said:
I've often said that being "out" involves two factors.

1. The people you interact with on a regular basis know.
2. You don't care who else knows.

It's the first part that can be a bit nebulous. Definitely, my family knows and my friends know. The lesbian couple two doors down knows. Does the guy next door know? No idea. He's lived there for two years, and I've literally exchanged less than fifteen words with him. If he's seen me with my partner, he probably knows. But I certainly haven't made any effort to hide it.

I'm assuming the mailman knows, based on a few things I get in the mail. The couple who owns the nice restaurant down the street knows, since we've had anniversary dinners there. Does the butcher know? No clue. I don't talk much to him other than to order meat. But if we got to talking, I'd have no trouble saying "My boyfriend is planning a barbecue wedding reception, so we're going to need a lot of ribs" or something.

Lex
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It is nebulous and it depends on how much your sexuality affects your small talk topics. For me, the matter rarely arises aside from when I socialise. For example, I worked with someone a few days a week for a good part of a year and I think we both enjoyed our conversations. One day, we met up with his friend for a drink on the beach. After that, he told me that I needed a sex life and started planning how he'd help me do that within the next fortnight, preferably that night. That's a good time to say which way you swing. We didn't just talk about maintaining paths and trees up to that point, but my sexuality hadn't come up either.
 
On the one hand: Yes, regarding homosexuality; there are openly gay farmers, lawyers, physicians and politicians, even from the rather right political spectrum, and even in the deepest province.

On the other hand: A bisexual person never needs to look far for a good lay, but I wouldn't recommend them to announce their bisexuality outside their circle.
 
I and my hubby can be totally "normal" and gay in Washington, DC. We walk the mall, we go out frequently and have never had a problem. I also travel a lot for work and there can be problems, depending on where we go. For instance, we were recently in Beijing and Singapore and were warned that showing any affection (male-male or even male-female) was frowned upon and could be a problem. However, in Thailand, Vietnam and Hong Kong we had little problem. I was politely warned that I should not bring my husband to Jamaica when traveling on official business (Kingston). In the US, it can be hit and miss depending on states or even cities.
 
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