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can you break up with a guy via txt msg if...

C

CountryBiy86

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I've been seeing this guy about 2 months and we are not exclusive. So my question is... can i break up with him via text message instead of telling him in person which would make it much harder for me because to be honest, we don't really have any problems. I want to break up with him because i know in the future its not going to work out and i want to save the pain and heartache.
 
No...it's cowardly and would be a dicky way to break up...especially since you "don't really have any problems." Sometimes one has to go through the explanations, pain/heartache in order to obtain closure and be able to move on...

Pull the standard " I like you as a friend, blah blah blah, I don't see a future for us." etc... Be a good breaker-upper. It won't come back to haunt you in the future...you won't have to avoid him when you happen to bump into him.
 
I would never break up with somebody through a text message for the same reasons mentioned above. Might be harder to do in person but owe them at least that much.
 
No. And I think that breaking up with someone to prevent possible heartbreak in the future is cowardly.
 
CountryBiy86 said:
I've been seeing this guy about 2 months and we are not exclusive. So my question is... can i break up with him via text message instead of telling him in person which would make it much harder for me because to be honest, we don't really have any problems. I want to break up with him because i know in the future its not going to work out and i want to save the pain and heartache.
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What makes you think that things won't work?
 
CountryBiy86 said:
I've been seeing this guy about 2 months and we are not exclusive. So my question is... (1)can i break up with him via text message instead of telling him in person (2)which would make it much harder for me because to be honest, we don't really have any problems. (3)I want to break up with him because i know in the future its not going to work out and (4)i want to save the pain and heartache.
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(1) Breaking up with someone via text is a cowardly, asshole move. The ONLY reason I can even think of for using such a maneuver is if you are breaking up with someone who is extremely violent and you have reason to fear for your safety (no, that doesn't include being too much of a wuss to bear his name calling).

(2) Your ending a relationship with someone with whom you "don't have any problems", and you are thinking only about what is easiest for you...... In breaking up with this guy you are doing him a favor!

(3) What? You don't want to be bothered to put any effort into the relationship?

(4) Oh, and not having the courage to tell him to his face will be less hurtful to him? You are the one choosing to end it because you don't want to be bothered with the relationship, you ain't hurting. Why even consider giving him the news in such a hurtful, cowardly way?
 
Only if you have no balls and no spine.Would you do it by text.

How would you like that done to you, Be a man and man-up and tell him at the very least by phone. In the end you will learn something about your self. It's called integrity which right now you have none but you can earn it..Do the right thing.
 
If it was only one date, I would say sure. Two months though, at least call the guy and dump him.
 
Don't do it man. It's not a good move to txt msg a breakup in your situation. Someone may do that to you someday. Payback is a bitch.
 
CountryBiy86 We are done. It's not you, it's me. We had good moments but now it's over. Bye.

How was it?
 
What...I don't even....why would you even consider breaking up with him through a text message? That's so low, so despicable, so reprehensible; so shameful, pitiful...so sordid and loathsome.




Use email.




In all seriousness, altlover's question is a good one, and one that you should be sure you know the answer to before ending things. Once you're sure (if you're not already), I think you should do it in person. It seems that you respect him as a person despite not wanting to be in a relationship with him, telling him in person will show him that. It may also be an exercise in character building. Good luck with everything, and I'm sorry you don't feel like your relationship is going to work out (*8*)
 
can you break up with a guy via txt msg if...
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here is was contemplating the If before reading your post.

...if I found out that he is a serial killer.

...if he is so manipulative that i know i will back down once he starts talking.

...if he is away for two years to a remote part of africa.

Yeah, there may be reasons you would deliver this rejection by text. But just because you don't think it will work out.

What is it you kids say these days? "FAIL"
 
I never really understood why people were so hung up with breaking up in person. I think the whole process gives the other person a false hope that there might be some opportunity, some chance to make things better. It sets the other person up to share their vulnerability one last time, it doesn't build the other person up at all- It devalues that person to want to put everything they have on the line in that moment to save what they think they might want at that time. To me it seems like you're putting someone in a position where they don't have a fighting chance to win.- The game is already fixed, and you are there to watch them loose, see it first hand to see their expectations catching up with reality. That moment of realization that things aren't going to work out, Id want that moment to be mine. I don't think that the other person would deserve to see me vulnerable one last time.

Honestly, I would rather a text msg- I mean if things are over, they are over.- Not much you can do about them. It doesn't mean they can't evolve later in life.

Although, I do think that if you've been living together with that person for an extended period of time that the situation becomes much different. At that point you've decided to share you're life with that person. They should be made aware that there are things that aren't working out, and that you are ready to move on.
 
I really don't see why everyone is going crazy either, he's only been dating the guy for 2 months which isn't a long time. I am assuming that there non-exclusive thing is that they haven't defined themselves as a couple yet. So, why put the poor guy thought the embarrassment and the awkward moment of being let down. Why waste the other persons time, and your own if things aren't going to go anywhere.
 
DeadRussianSpaceMonkey said:
I never really understood why people were so hung up with breaking up in person. I think the whole process gives the other person a false hope that there might be some opportunity, some chance to make things better. It sets the other person up to share their vulnerability one last time, it doesn't build the other person up at all- It devalues that person to want to put everything they have on the line in that moment to save what they think they might want at that time. To me it seems like you're putting someone in a position where they don't have a fighting chance to win.- The game is already fixed, and you are there to watch them loose, see it first hand to see their expectations catching up with reality. That moment of realization that things aren't going to work out, Id want that moment to be mine. I don't think that the other person would deserve to see me vulnerable one last time.

Honestly, I would rather a text msg- I mean if things are over, they are over.- Not much you can do about them. It doesn't mean they can't evolve later in life.

Although, I do think that if you've been living together with that person for an extended period of time that the situation becomes much different. At that point you've decided to share you're life with that person. They should be made aware that there are things that aren't working out, and that you are ready to move on.
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I like the way you think!

thanks you the help everyone!
 
^^ uh no, don't like the way he thinks.

If you think a break up text is the to-go solution, you are dead wrong. You just want to make thing easier on yourself and use the "save the other an embarrassment" as an excuse to do so. Can you imagine that you're happy, just doing your typical chores and knowing that you are dating a nice guy. Then all of the sudden, a peep on your phone and you read the text: sorry. we're not dating anymore. Have a good day.

How will that make you feel? Personally, I will feel like shit and I would be like W T F ??? WHAT? and I'm going to call you and talk 100 words a second to find a reason why my day just went from awesome to absolutely shit hole. And then I will spend the rest of my day, replaying every single moment of our relationship and think: what the hell did I do wrong? And after couple of days, my thought process will be: fuck that bitch, he doesn't deserve me. I will hate him for the rest of my life. I will take this scar with me and if I ever see that fucker again. I will scream in his face.

Why don't you be a courteous person and do it in person? If you're going to be cruel, at least try to be the kindest son of a bitch you can for like 10 secs. Ever heard of closure, a person needs closure if he's ever going to move on in his life. You dated him for 2 months, he deserves at least that much courtesy from you.
 
CountryBiy86 said:
I like the way you think!

thanks you the help everyone!
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Typical asshole on this site. Comes on saying he's looking for advice. Then after EVERYONE says don't do it he takes the ONE response that does.

You weren't looking for advice you were looking for someone as shallow as yourself to validate your own shallowness. One person agreed and that was the one you chose.

Sad sad boy. I think this guy that you are dumping deserves to be free from your sorry ass.
 
DeadRussianSpaceMonkey said:
I never really understood why people were so hung up with breaking up in person. I think the whole process gives the other person a false hope that there might be some opportunity, some chance to make things better. It sets the other person up to share their vulnerability one last time, it doesn't build the other person up at all- It devalues that person to want to put everything they have on the line in that moment to save what they think they might want at that time. To me it seems like you're putting someone in a position where they don't have a fighting chance to win.- The game is already fixed, and you are there to watch them loose, see it first hand to see their expectations catching up with reality. That moment of realization that things aren't going to work out, Id want that moment to be mine. I don't think that the other person would deserve to see me vulnerable one last time.

Honestly, I would rather a text msg- I mean if things are over, they are over.- Not much you can do about them. It doesn't mean they can't evolve later in life.

Although, I do think that if you've been living together with that person for an extended period of time that the situation becomes much different. At that point you've decided to share you're life with that person. They should be made aware that there are things that aren't working out, and that you are ready to move on.
Click to expand...

You have done this guy a great disservice with your terrible advice. Please refrain from "helping" in the future here. Thanks.
 
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