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Can't let go

M

mrdude

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Don't want to go into full detail, but for my mental health, it's just getting worse.

I've liked a guy for 3 yrs, and emailed him about my interest to him a few months back, and haven't received an email back (or so I think). I now think it may have possibly gone to my junk mail and deleted before me noticing. This has made a huge impact on me now.

I have severe OCD, and this just adds on more stress.

Believe me, I've tried everything to forget about him, and to let go of the past - but I simply can't. I need to know his response to get over this. My dignity, embarrassment, I don't care at this point. I know nothing is going to happen, but it's too hard.

Should I just email him again and ask if he got my email? I know it's creepy... But I want to stop my thinking everyday.
 
No disrespect intended but maybe seek help with your issues, if you have not already. And or express these new issue.
if you don't you of all people know this will only get worse....before it gets better.

I think you need to get well and get ur life in order b4 you start seeking a bf
 
Some questions:

1. Does he know you? What is your relation to him?

2. Why have you emailed him instead of talking in person? This isn't something one shares online.

3. Have you truly done EVERYTHING to forget him? This is not a rhetorical question.

We often hold on to our suffering because it makes us feel something when we fear we wouldn't feel anything if we let go of it. It's better to pine after an unattainable (?) guy than to be alone. But it isn't really. And it prevents you from moving on. And I would second racer's advice that if you have legitimate psychological problem, you need to deal with your obsession with this guy through professional help.
 
The key word in your post is "can't." Oftentimes, it means won't. Are you being treated for your OCD? This issue will be be handled by a mental health provider. Logically, if the guy was interested he'd be persistent.

Besides therapy have you tried other interventions?

Wishing you peace of mind.
 
mrdude said:
I now think it may have possibly gone to my junk mail and deleted before me noticing. This has made a huge impact on me now.
Click to expand...

I don't want to be a cow but why do you think it ended up in your junk mail? Most filters are "smart" in a sense. When you emailed that address it wouldn't be flagged as junk unless you specifically told it that it was junk mail address. I'm going to assume you haven't heard back from him because he does not reciprocate your feelings. It's time to find someone new.
 
If you in actuality have OCD, I find it hard to believe the line about junk mail. The OCD person would have checked a million times a day to see about a response. I think you put that in as to not sound too obsessive. FYI. It did NOT work You sound very obsessive. You don't want to let go of this. You know what the response is/was. In your reality that doesn't add up the way you want. Therefore you habitually obsess.

The fact you sent an e-mail in this particular situation screams volumes. I'm thinking you probably had a pretty good idea of the "outcome" and didn't want to face it, literally. It is kind of hard to obsess over a blatant "in your face" truth. Even though a true OCD guy would find a way to do exactly that.

If you can afford it, get help from a certified therapist. There are a lot of drugs that actually can help. Be aware though and read the pharmacology. This only makes sense. If you do not have the financial resources to get professional help, look into community programs. Many hospitals have a sliding scale out patient mental health clinics.

A behavioral modification therapy group is ideal. OCD people are very adept at hiding the disorder. That is part of the disorder. Groups make you accountable to multiple persons instead of the one therapist.

All in all, leave the guy alone. Good luck, kiddo.
 
Thanks for all the replies guys, it's much appreciated. I have been getting professional help - for other disorders incl. ocd, but it's just hard to get out of this mess. I'll take on all your advice, which makes absolutely sense, but taking it all in is the challenging part and will try to use whats said here.

Durango: The reason why I couldn't tell him directly was I have an anxiety disorder. I tried to tell him at many opportunities, but my anxiety got the better of me. This is how it all started.
 
Have you tried emailing him again? Might as well one more time, as it would relieve some of your stress (about thinking whether or not if you should try to contact him again). Best of luck, buddy.
 
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