can't penetrate please advise

[pittmd83]

Hello,

I have been with my partner for a little over 6 months. Before this relationship I had only topped once but liked it and wanted to continue to play this role. However, I have not really been successful at it with my current partner that I am in love with and physically attracted to. In fact, i do not have a problem maintaining an erection at all; however, in the past when I have tried to penetrate I am met with resistance and for some reason can not get the head in. It is hard to explain but it feels like gravity perhaps is working against me. I am basically trying to thrust myself with his legs back in the air and penetrate but nothing happens and it gets awkward.

I am wondering if perhaps anyone could suggest any reasons? I have not tried lube because he does not particularly like it. Also, although I should def be using a condom every time, since we have been in a monogamous relationship for over 6 months and been tested, I do not always use one. Could it help to use it every time? And would any positions be most beneficial? Everytime it has been him on his back on a bed. I feel stupid for even posting this but I am not exactly experienced in this and I feel as if I am a horrible boyfriend that can't please his partner sexually. Again we both are able to get off every time but I know something is missing. I will take any help or suggestions thank you very much.

 

[Lukeee]

Anal without lube? ... ... I doubt you will get anywhere.

Has he bottomed before? Did he use lube then?

 

[KaraBulut]

What you're doing is like rolling a bowling ball up a hill. You'll make progress, but it's going to be reeeeaaaalllyyyy slow going.

Up in the very top of this forum are a series of stickies that link back to some helpful threads in the forum. There's a sticky that focuses on anal sex issues.

Read through some of the earlier posts that have some good information. From just the information you've provided, the following are issues:

1. You need to use lube.
2. Unless your partner is an experienced bottom, you need to prep your partner either with lube and a finger or with lube and a sex toy.
3. Pushing your hard dick up against an unlubed closed backdoor will kill your hardon- the penis has a tendency to go soft when there's backward pressure on the head and shaft. You might want to start out with a position like "cowboy" where you lay flat on your back and your partner sits on your dick.
4. You should use a condom. Put lube on the inside of the condom and you won't be able to tell much difference.
5. When your partner is relaxed and you've been able to penetrate him, then change to whatever position you prefer.

 

[Seasoned]

Find a good lube and have him sit on it.

 

[gay boy 123]

Find a good lube and have him sit on it.

So that's how the 50's expression "sit on it" started.

 

[panda29]

The best lube that I found is called Gun Oil silicone not the water based..

 

[Kirbster66]

Lube is so crucial. Once when I allowed the top to penetrate me without lube (spit only) I ended up with an anal fissure and was out of commission for 11 months. Lube is your friend!

Otherwise, work his hole with tongue and fingers to loosen him up, then proceed slowly as you attempt to penetrate.