Caressed my Str8 friend...what do i do now?

[conrad]

It happens with a neighbor who lives by himself in a lovely home. He and I meet often when we walk our dogs. Understand, I am a married man, retired for a good many years; he is moving towardretirement himself. Always very friendly and mildly tactlle; we always seem to shake hands.

Not long ago in a gab fest among the men with plenty of beer (not my drink) he was his usual friendly self but as the evening went along he became super attentive and he was embracing me, inviting me to his home. If, when he is sober, he renews the invitation, I will accept.

Does he read me as being in favor of deep bonding between men? I hope so because I am, but I see in him a man who needs a non-judgmental sounding board for his very conservative views. I sense that he envies my openness. He has also had time to observe my life; I am a very devoted husband.

Often men who make such moves, IMHO, are a bit fumbling in their approaches, but I hope I can be the kind of man-friend he really needs.

Sex isn't always at the top of the agenda for all men. But all men need meaningful relationships with others.

 

[genthree]

This is titillating, but dangerous for you. I would be up front and tell him you enjoy doing what you are doing but that it is in danger of escalating - you like him, you value his friendship but if he leads you on is he willing to go further.
It is one of the fucked things that life does to us ! Good luck and we are all waiting for an update............

 

[Ldrive]

Let me give the other guy's (possible) perspective. I'm a married guy, always straight before, but genuinely curious.. I stumbled onto this website due to a news story about that college kid who committed suicide after being spied on. The news story mentioned posts on JustUsBoys.

I have had a lot of thoughts that must be similar to those of your straight friend. For years, I was afraid to act on the urge to explore because I was afraid of the "gay" label and afraid I might start down a road that could ruin my marriage and straight life. I did not (and do not) want to change my life or lead a gay life. Rather, I wanted to try out sex with another guy and see what it was like. I wanted to de-mystify it and see where I stood after it was a real experience and not just a somewhat taboo urge. I was not as worried about HIV or stds because I am sensible enough to be safe. I never liked anal sex with girls very much and would never want to get fucked, so it was really just an oral and touching thing.

With that explanation, I agree with the guy who said your friend is curious. He's definitely curious or he wouldn't go along with the touching and wouldn't make those jokes. The jokes about BJs are his way of testing out the subject in his own head, while maintaining deniability (to himself and anyone else who heard it). I finally got up the courage (with little help from some strong drink) to do some exploring and it really helped me figure out my sexuality. But before I did, I needed a nudge. I wish I had tried it sooner, so your friend may need a gentle nudge too. I agree some drinks could loosen him up although you don't want him to get plastered and later regret whatever happens. He likes to get his dick sucked or he wouldn't be talking about BJs. Find a way to plant the seed that guys just do it better, which happens to be very, very true. See where that conversation goes. Low key and just verbal (don't grab his dick). Then see if he'll let you get into some detail about it and if some graphic talk about how incredible it feels to get a really really great blowjob from someone who has a cock, loves to suck cock, knows how to do it right, and loves to swallow cum... I'll bet he gets super hard. Don't b ring up anal sex, since his BJ jokes are a clear sign that the "gay" fantasies he has had are about getting sucked. (Does he watch porn? Maybe turn him on to some free non-raunchy computer porn like the jack off stuff or Broke Straight Boys stuff on this site or Xtube). Then, and this is important -- while NOT touching him -- make the offer to give him the best head of his life, and tell him if he doesn't feel comfortable doing it then and there, to keep the offer in mind and to let you know. Tell him it's an open offer and that he should not hesitate to bring it up after he's thought it over. If he's even vaguely an educated or intellectual type, tell him to Google "sexual orientation continuum" and to read up on the fact that MOST people are somewhere in between the 100% hetero/100% homo extremes. Make him feel normal and that any urges he might have had are normal. Renew the offer a few days later if the situation feels right. Assure him it won't change a thing between you -- and that you won't tell a soul or ever bug him to do it ever again if he doesn't want to. You need to appeal to his reason while trying to tamp down his fear that once he does it once, he'll be a fag, or that it will open the door to a big change in his life. Baby steps is the right advice My bet is you'll be sucking that straight cock in no time.

 

[star-warrior]

It seems he's passive whilst you're feeling him up, and he stopped you at certain times because it was uncomfortable that you're getting too near his private places. That ought to be a big warning sign.

I think you have to assess your situation from his point of view. Why is he feeling me up? Should I let him, I don't wanna upset him. He's going towards my junk - no!

I don't know about you, but if someone just went for my bits, that would be a gross invasion of my personal space. Think before you ruin a good friendship. You two really ought to talk about what your fingers are doing rather skirting round the issue. It might have a bad ending, sorry if it's not what you wanna hear.

 

[shahmask]

I have a buddy, we've had sex twice and fooled around a few more times, first in april or may and second time was in august i think. We have been much closer since the first time we had sex. but he hasn't renounced girls.

it might happen. yall might enjoy it a lot (sex with "straight" guys is so much fun and fuckin hot!). yall might be closer friends. but don't expect him to fall for you or anything. so you better not fall for him. now, it might happen. but don't expect it.

my take, if he is ok with you touching him, and if he ever touches you knowing you're gay, there's a good chance yall could have some freakin fun times. i say, slowly go for it. and, a little bit of alcohol could be fun. but if he is almost passing out when it gets to the point of fun time, then he isn't willing to do it. lol

 

[seven_sins]

Tell him that you are attracted to him but you don't want to make any advances that will damage your friendship. Ask him to tell you if he thinks you are going to far. If he doesn't tell you to stop, then go for it. I do think that it will eventually destroy your friendship if he is not at least bi.

 

[Scooter90210]

land him like a plane at O'hare airport

 

[silverbelt]

land him like a plane at O'hare airport

After reading through all the varied and balanced responses to the OP's issue, this sort of response made me lol pretty hard.

My opinion kinda follows on from many others here: make sure you don't rush, work within his limits, be mindful of what he's thinking and if he wants something, it'll happen.

 

[cinnamontea]

do not purrsue further. some str8 guys - like i know - like their egos stroked and liked to be an object of lust..you mentioned he freaked whden you tried to touch below the belt...so there ya go.

 

[JNewYork]

It was a shared secret, of sorts, knowing that there was something there between us and only we knew.

I wouldn't be too sure that only the two of you knew. Even stupid people have the ability to "pick up on" vibes, and I'm almost guaranteeing that if a person has a "secret" intimacy with another on the job or school or whatever, that other people already know. They know because they saw it in one millisecond of a facial expression on you or the other guy. At the very least they sense it. I've witnessed lots of incidents where two people were sharing "private" intimacy. And I would chuckle to myself thinking, Well, if I know about it, then others do, too.

Back to the original topic and poster....You've already caressed him. Take it further. Next time lay your hand on the top of his right leg while he's driving. Make sure you rest it high up his leg, near his lap. Extend the fingers down so that your hand is on the top of his thigh and your fingers are down, pressed against the side of his inner thigh. Rub him there a bit.

Keep talking to him. Then rub your hand on his inner thigh, allow your thumb to gently touch his groin. You'll probably feel his balls hit your thumb.

Keep rubbing his thigh, and allowing your thumb to gently hit his balls. Then very, very lightly and gently, allow your full hand to cover his entire groin area, very, very lightly.

Keep talking to him. Then you can get your fingers under his balls and really rub him and grab him.

Fuck I'm getting hard thinking about it!

 

[ChrisRodz15]

I recently found out that he might be bi. He said he's not sure but doesnt see himself doing anything with a guy

also, he said he didnt know how to tell me to stop but that he felt i was crossing the line. But just the other night he let me play/scratch/massage his back and he said he only let me cause it "felt good".

Idk what to do lol.

 

[sweetcar]

I've been in similar situations with a few friends..I used to enjoy getting to be close friends with someone that turned me on....and then letting things develop naturally. To me, its much more enjoyable for friends to really get to feel comfortable around each other. Sharing your feelings, spending a lot of time alone together and even touching/caressing as you discribed.

Even if something sexual never develops, at least you've shared a level of intimacy few other folks never get to enjoy. I could go on and this could become a very long and self-serving post. Just let me say what most others have. Enjoy your friendship! Keep touching each other, but don't push him. If he's interested in getting more intimate with you, he'll let you know. It came pretty close to being something sexual with most of the guys I really got close to. One guy finally told me he wanted to have sex with me. We were talking about something in the car when he told me and I almost couldn't believe what he was saying!!

He was the sexiest most popular guy among a group of close friends...Never thought I'd actually have a sexual relationship with him. It happened and we're still having sex many years later, even though he's had a few serious hertosexual relationships in the meantime!

 

[tohelam23]

just take it day by day - if i had a gay friend touching me i wouldn't mind it but i would not want to be pushed - he's probably curious about handjobs or blowjobs