Casual dates

[jjrod321]

Ok so I'm meeting this guy that my friend hooked me up with for the first time this Thursday afternoon and we've decided to just take a nice casual first date at a local coffee/donut shop.

Now I understand the whole first date scenario, but who pays for the coffee? Would I just walk in, meet him, and then go order our coffees and since I originally initiated the date means that I would pay? How does this all work?

Please help if you have any tips to offer.

 

[maxpowr9]

IMO, you always go "dutch" on the first date, meaning you split the bill or pay for your own drink.

If you want a bad anecdote, I have walked out on a guy because he could not afford a cup of coffee on a date. He expected me to pay for his cup and he had no cash or CC on hand. It's not like we're talking a fancy dining experience here, it's a $2 cup of coffee.

 

[dragon08]

I personally think it's a bit more romantic if one person pays. My rule is whoever suggested the date or asked the other person out should offer to pay and from that point on either switch back and forth or go Dutch.

I say offer to pay if he wants to pay separately or for both of you let him. Just go with the flow.

 

[Rolyo85]

Unless it's some evening affair and it went REALLY great, I'd always go with everyone paying for themselves.

What's a "casual date"?

 

[darden]

my take on it is that I always offer to pay, but I won't put up a fight if they want to split the bill.

if they insist on paying and the date is going well, I'll tell them that our next date is on me then

 

[Disturbance]

I don't like when somebody pays for my expenses, because it makes me feel like I owe him, and actually I think it is quite natural that everyone pays for his own stuff.

I met only one guy that paid for everything and things could've worked out, but I screwed that up big time.

 

[QueenxElsa]

I would split on first date and maybe 2nd too, but 3rd is up to them.

 

[AstareGod]

Striking a nice balance is good. I have a generous personality and am usually the first to offer to pay for my date, whether it's dinner or drinks, but the first couple of times it's Dutch. By the time I hit at least the third date with someone and feel we're both investing into each other, I surprise them and take the check at the end of the dinner or open the tab at a bar. After all, a fourth date is probably in the picture, which gives them a chance to return the favor.

OP, not that I've gone on many coffee dates, but I imagine if you get there 10-15 minutes apart from each other, whoever gets there first buys their own coffee and finds a table to wait for the other, who pays for his own coffee. If you get there at the same time, offer to buy him coffee. After all, it gives you an excuse to have him buy you coffee when you're finished with your first, and, in addition to giving him an opportunity to return the favor, allows you to be with each other longer!

Let us know how it goes!

 

[ckryde]

I usually will offer to pay, and figure he'll get me back next time. The thing I hate the most is when it become an issue. Life's too short to fuss over little things