It's how you treat me.
I know we're all guys. I know monogamy isn't really natural for people, and that people are going to want to fuck other people but, it's not that people cheat it's they lie to me, or they act like a rude, snobby obnoxious asshole.
That's not cute or sexy and that never will be. It's rude.
So I don't care, you can rim 50 men at once if you want to. You just have to treat me like a human being, and well I'll do the same to you. Haha it's not rocket science.
Well, it's not like he's snoby obnoxious about it. When I asked him, he was taken back and didn't expect me to mention that. But he wasn't rude. To me, it's difficult. I don't have the "common sense" to look at multiple view points, hence, I'm asking here.
It's not clear what you're planning to say.
You were checking out the ads (and it sounds like it's not the first time). So, are you upset that he's running an ad looking for someone else or are you upset that he's not doing the 3 way with you or are you wishing that he would have told you that he was looking for a little play on the side?
Or all of the above?
I used to work two jobs. I constantly brought up how sorry I was for not being able to see him as much and whenever we did, I was pretty out of it. He always tried to reassure me that it was fine. When I suggested a threesome, he made it clear that he didn't need a threesome. Just spending time together was enough for him.
When I stumbled upon the ad, he was looking strictly for tops with 7inches or more. I know I have issues regarding my size.. Sometimes I'm able to cope with it, but looking at that ad made me feel like he was lying to me that it does matter. Well, we spoke. He said that he only made an ad and wanted to see who would reply to him without any intention of actually meeting up. He told me that he looks at his friends who are in relationships and feels as if we're not even in one. So, this is something we'll work on.
I would have answered the ad. Hey (name), I'm here just looking at pics for jo material. I'd know that fine ass anywhere especially next to that dresser. I was hoping the 3-way idea would have been a great outlet for both of us. Should we make an ad together?
Well, I did email with an old email. It ended up being him. When we met up, I asked him why he didn't want to look for someone together if that's what he wanted. Or even go shopping for a toy. We were gonna go but his family wanted to do things.
Boy, a lot of issues. Sounds like neither of you want to be in a committed relationship. That's what you need to talk about.
You also need to come to grips with your anatomy. Not everyone cares about size despite what porn tells us. And frankly even bigger guys than you can feel insecure.
Yeah, this being my first relationship...I feel like I'm telling him everything...from when I feel shitty to when I feel ecstatic. I'll call him but he'll reply with text. He doesn't really like to tell me anything that seems personal. He'll talk about job searching and school, but nothing like how he's feeling. It's like I have to dig through that exterior to know how he's feeling.
See him face to face. Ask him what's going on. Find out for yourself what Else has happened that you don't know of. :/ In this instance, I, personally would be ending it. He (should), if he's been messing around, be completely humiliated and blindsided when he finds out you know. If he doesn't have the decency to be honest with the guy he's been seeing for so long, then he deserves to be mortified and, in turn, lose the great thing he's got.
Something VERY similar happened to me, but I KNEW the guy was cheating on 12 Other people and got 1 girl pregnant. I still regret that I wasn't able to inform him of the fact face to face. I wanted him to squirm. I wanted to see him sweat, to not be able to make eye contact.
Somehow, doing it through text, was so empty and only left me furious and broken. Face to face would definitely be best. Let him see that you're hurt, and then get the closure you need.
(I am truly, deeply sorry about what you must feel. I know how agonizing it was for me. How many nights were filled with sleepless tears and heartache. I wouldn't wish that pain on a dog. Feel free to message me, if you need support or a friend)
I was hurt, but I also wanted that friend. He knows I'm not out to my family. It's hard despite people already thinking I might not be completely straight. But I have made attempts to bring him more into my personal life with him meeting my closest friends. He always says it's fine. I just want that friend who will tell me as it is. I told him that a couple times before.
Anyway, I'm going to trust him and stop thinking so paranoid. Easier said than done, but I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. I can see how he's saying that he made an ad to see who would respond, if it was to only swap pics or something. Just to get off as if it's porn.
