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caught in the middle.

I

inlovewithblair

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long story short.

i go clubbing almost every weekend. i love meeting people and dancing. i'm told i'm greatlooking. now, i don't know if this would be considered a problem, but i'm still a virgin. kind of not by choice, kind of by choice. when i see people at clubs and whatnot, they seem so geared for sex - the guy i thought was the cutest and maybe nicest at a club last night made out with someone in a frickin' washroom stall. like, if this is what i have to do to meet a decent guy, i'd rather not, you know?

it's like, i don't want to give it away to some random because i'm a proud virgin, but i feel like it holds me back sometimes. i feel like i'm not gonna meet anyone because they want sex and i won't just give it away.
 
I met my partner of 26 years at a club. There are all types of people everywhere, we just have to know how to sort them out.
 
Frankly, I think you're right--you don't want to give it away to someone randomly (and as hot as making out in a washroom stall with the hottest guy in the club can sound, it'd be hotter if you were loser to him emotionally). Don't be in such a hurry, as I'm sure the right guy for you will come along--sx is more than just a physical act, it can be the greatest emotional experience ever as well.
 
TaigaStar said:
Frankly, I think you're right--you don't want to give it away to someone randomly (and as hot as making out in a washroom stall with the hottest guy in the club can sound, it'd be hotter if you were loser to him emotionally). Don't be in such a hurry, as I'm sure the right guy for you will come along--sx is more than just a physical act, it can be the greatest emotional experience ever as well.
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i know, i know i'm making a good decision by not giving it away, but at the same time, i feel like i'm too paranoid about it - and, i'm not able to be as 'free' as i want to be at these clubs. like, it's just not my thing to look slutty or whorish at clubs. it looks horrible and it's just not my style.
 
you need to meet guys in other ways more than just at clubs
 
As stated above, it is possible to find great people anywhere, but when alcohol is in the mix inhibitions are lowered. The guys in the stalls making out are also probably decent guys.

Holding out for a romantic first time is your choice. It is your standard. I hope you find a tender guy. Will he be the love of your life? Possibly, but you will realisticly have at least several. Obviously there are fewer poeple who revere virginity than don't.

One of my life's lessons was learning when not to compromise. Viginity was not important to me, but every person makes their own path. Good luck on yours.
 
i agree that not all guys who go to club are disgusting. as someone stated, alcohol is involved so inhibitions are lowered. if you find a guy at a club, get his info and meet outside of that element.
 
Guys - you only go around once. Yes, you need to use some consideration in who you have your "first time with", but honestly, this whole virginity things is HIGHLY over-rated.

I love sex and I like sex with guys.

Even if you find the "love of your life", you will be so pissed at this person sometime in the future, you won't believe you gave your virginity to this person.

I am not saying that you should run out and do it with everyone, but this mysticism associated with losing your virginity is hogwash.

If you find someone you like, get to know them, and then sort of let nature take it's course. Don't create artificial barriers (e.g. this is a bar person), and more than likely the first guy won't be your last or only guy - so don't act like this is a once-in-a-lifetime decision.

You will make the decision to be with someone many times in the future. You can just decide if it's a go or no-go.

Life is short - live it!
 
Virginity is for fairy princesses who lose it only to their one true shining knight in armor on the white horse.

It has nothing to do with reality. Or men.

If you want romantic sex, fine. But don't confuse it with virginity.

Read my blog post about meeting guys. Basically, if you think the men in clubs aren't right for you, go to where the right men are: the ones who share your interests.
 
puka-pride said:
... its not impossible to find a nice guy there but it is improbable
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Finding them is not the problem.

The problem is that you can't keep the ones you want to keep and you have to get rid of the ones you don't want to keep the next morning. :)
 
Lube said:
Virginity is for fairy princesses who lose it only to their one true shining knight in armor on the white horse.

It has nothing to do with reality. Or men.

If you want romantic sex, fine. But don't confuse it with virginity.

Read my blog post about meeting guys. Basically, if you think the men in clubs aren't right for you, go to where the right men are: the ones who share your interests.
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that's so sad.

people remember their first time. it should be more special than the others. after that, then by all means i'll be hoeing it up, but not the first time.
 
And i dont want it to be "romantic", per se, i just want it to be with someone i've known for a month or two, not someone i ran into at a bar and got drunk with.
 
inlovewithblair said:
people remember their first time. it should be more special than the others. after that, then by all means i'll be hoeing it up, but not the first time.
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Fine, but it doesn't have to be perfect. Don't get stuck on that.
inlovewithblair said:
And i dont want it to be "romantic", per se, i just want it to be with someone i've known for a month or two, not someone i ran into at a bar and got drunk with.
Click to expand...
OK, I get you now.
 
Don't think too much about your virginity. Who knows? Maybe you'll find yourself wanting to have sex with someone you just met a week ago. Is it bad just because you are a virgin? Give yourself the freedom to make this a relative issue. Btw, if you want it romantic, it's quite fine, but if you realize a night that this is not necessary, then follow your feelings- after all, you've got to feel your first time, not think it.
 
I'm that skank in the bathroom :wave:

I have, though, met some down-to-earth nice guys at clubs. Albeit, far and few between.
 
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